


SkipBeat!tale

by Kaaski



Category: Skip Beat!, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Acting, Be gentle, Burgerpants has a dark power, Burgerpants is no longer made of compassion, Burgerpants not as naive as Kyoko, Burgerpants replaces Kyoko, Crossover, Depending on if people like this, Depressed cat monster, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everything takes place in Tokyo, Grillby's replaces Darumaya, Hate to Love, Hope, Japan, Lots of stressed out cat monster, Love, M/M, Mettaton replaces Shou, My First Fanfic, Poor Burgerpants, Rating May Change, Smoking, Some Humor, Some angst, showbiz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-13 20:50:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 44,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9141673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaaski/pseuds/Kaaski
Summary: Burgerpants followed his oppressive boss Mettaton to Tokyo to support him while he made it big as an idol. But once he hears Mettaton talk about him behind his back, he won't stand for it anymore! Soul no longer fueled by love, hope, and compassion like a monster's should combined with this newfound dark power, Burgerpants decides to make it big in the entertainment industry and get his revenge on Mettaton!





	1. And the Box was Opened, the Soul Changed

**Author's Note:**

> So this is an Undertale AU, I guess?, where Burgerpants replaces Kyoko in the Skip Beat! manga. This first chapter follows the first chapter of the manga pretty closely, but if I keep going with this it will deviate a whole bunch at some point. 
> 
> In the manga we don't really get a lot of what Kyoko's power from her Pandora's box is, but for Burgerpants I wanted it to mean something about his soul. So, this darkness in him is a real thing in the world. Not just like psychic energy or something.
> 
> I wanted to write more this coming New Year, and I figured I'd start out with fanfic. Whether or not this is successful and people like it, I enjoyed writing it so, I guess it's a win already. Woot.
> 
> Skip Beat! and all its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura, Undertale and all its characters are the property of Toby Fox. I own absolutely none of them.

Getting to the surface was everything the monsters had thought it would be. The beauty of an open sky above them and the rising sun in the east heralded the possibility of a new life. This fledgling hope drove them forward and allowed the monsters to get through all of the hardships the humans would place before them upon their exodus from the mountain. 

Now, years later, the dust from their coming has settled...for the most part. Magic, souls, monsters. It was a lot for humanity to take in, and they made sure that the monsters wouldn’t have their freedom without an exhausting legal battle and debilitating racism. However, common decency won out in the end. Humans and monsters live alongside each other in relative peace. Monsters have taken this opportunity to open businesses and strike out on their own across the world, to live the lives they always dreamed about under the mountain.

That is, except for Burgerpants.

Love, hope, and compassion. These are the things that monster souls are made of. But what happens when a monster loses these things so dear to Monsterkind?

Everyone in this world when they are born are given by the gods a box sealed with many locks that cannot be opened by anyone but themselves. Burgerpants was about to see just what was inside his, what happens when the love, hope, and compassion that makes up a monster is stripped away...

A young monster with an admirable life, Burgerpants is living in Tokyo. Many other monsters had decided to live there as well, finding the culture to be a bit more welcoming of their species. Plus, a lot of them still thought that anime was human history.

“Okay, so, that’s one double cheeseburger with medium fries and a coke and one teriyaki burger with a fish filet and a coke,” his voice sounded confident and sure, laden with years of experience in the fast food industry. 

“Is that right?” But instead of a face to match that voice, bright and shiny, in its place was a visage laden with anxiety and the occasional twitch. His spastic form seemed to be one push away from a serious breakdown. 

“Burgerpants, sorry I was late. You can take off now-”

Before his coworker could finish the thought, the cat monster dashed through the fast food joint hurriedly changing as he went. _Shit, if I don’t hurry I will be late for Grillby’s!_ His mad dash to the fire elemental’s bar was interrupted by the chattering of some of his other coworkers, who were also ending their shifts and changing.

“I don’t care if the robot’s a dude or not, have you seen those legs? I mean, damn! No other celebrity has ever gotten me this bad before.”

 _Oh how wonderful_ , the sarcasm was heavy with this one, _another mindless zombie to join the ever-growing horde of Mettaton’s followers_ … 

“What about that actor, Ren? He’s got some long ones,” another coworker joined in.

_What is it with people and legs these days?!_

“His are O.K...but Mettaton’s are where it’s at! And to prove my newfound dedication, I bought two of his newest CDs featuring Napstablook and it came with two life-sized posters of just his legs!” The zealous coworker unveiled his prizes, a poster Burgerpants had never seen before. He felt his blood run cold.

“I also, had to buy two CDs,” the cat monster said, his voice a hoarse whisper. Getting the MTT/Napstablook mix album was one of the many errands Mettaton had made him do today before work, “I had to wait outside of the store all night, but they didn’t give me those?!” His voice became a desperate shriek and the questioning stares of his coworkers crawled down his back, but he could barely bring himself to care.

If it was a promotion that Mettaton was doing at this store, of course he would ask about it when the cat monster got back. He winced at the cruel punishment the robot might dish out when he discovered that he had failed to acquire even one piece of the idol’s merchandise. _Probably more ridicule, as if being forced to be called Burgerpants for the rest of my life wasn’t enough._ The monster descended deeper into the ocean of his despair and stared greedily at his coworker’s two posters. 

Sweat began to bead on the man’s face and he held his prize to his chest defensively, “These are mine, you can’t have them!” as if fearing Burgerpants would rip them from him in the monster’s desperation. 

This only served to sink Burgerpants further into a crippling depression.

One coworker tried to console him with a polite smile on his face, “You know, if you still have the receipt they might still give you one.”

_Could it be? A chance?_

“Yeah, right,” another guy scoffed, “They wouldn’t give it up without a fight and Burgerpants is too meek to-”

In a flash the cat monster had left the chatting coworkers behind, his rush to get to the store even faster than his rush to get to his other job on time. 

After a moment of quiet shock from his coworkers, one spoke up, “I didn’t think this would be the thing to break Burgerpants.”

“I had my money on an angry customer,” another chimed in.

“Yeah, I never thought he was the type to have interest in entertainment idols, either.”

“True, but he is the type to let something get him real worked up once it’s in his head.”

\---

Cut to a speeding bicycle with an equal parts intense equal parts anxiety ridden cat monster pedaling as if all the demons of hell were on his tail an unholy chant on his tongue.

“MTT leg poster, MTT leg poster, MTT leg poster…!”

Dodging foot-traffic and bursting into the store while still on his bicycle the wheel aimed precariously close to the store manager’s face, Burgerpants panted, “Didn’t get...MTT...leg poster!” The look on his face was not unlike that of a person who was in the process of being ripped apart by those same demons that drove him to ride with such ardor before, and the look on the store manager’s face was not unlike a person who was watching said dismemberment happen before his eyes. 

After a small explanation, a large apology, and a gift of the store’s last copy of the poster from the store manager-it was the one that was hanging in the window- Burgerpants could let out a sigh of relief looking down at his ticket to less ridicule as he pushed his bicycle mindlessly out of the store.

_I’m glad they didn’t put up too much of a fuss...now I can go to work with-_

“WORK!” his sudden exclamation startled the already wary pedestrians around him, “Grillby is gonna kill me!”

\---

Burgerpants could feel the worry exude from the silent-as-ever Grillby. It was, after all, a forty minute trip that he had taken in fifteen. 

“I know what you want to say, Grillbz” the cat monster managed to get out between gasps of breath. He tried his best to change into his work attire with jelly-like limbs. He lit up a cigarette once he was done. “But I can’t take even one day off...I won’t be able to pay the rent.”

He tried his best to stand and inhaled a deep breath of the cigarette letting out the smoke with an accompanying sigh, “I know you want me to follow my dreams, like the other monsters, like you, but…” Another sigh, another puff of the cig, “You know I can’t. The world isn’t like that one surface story...You know, the one with the princess, all her dreams coming true just because she wished for it.” He buttoned his pants and shook his head, tucking in his shirt, and leaving a trail of smoke with each turn. “No, nothing is free round here.”

Grillby just shook his head the flame wavering slightly.

\---

 _Thinking about it now_ , Burgerpants reasoned pushing his bike home after his shift, _even if I can’t be like the princess of those stories...I’m still living with the prince…_ He shuddered looking up at his apartment to see the lights on. 

“Oh, come on…” he walked up, dreading each step, “He’s home?”

The cat monster took a deep breath to prepare himself to go inside when he heard voices on the other side of the door. _Someone’s with him?_ He strained his ears to listen closer.

“Ooooooooohhhh noooooo...That’s not very nice, Mettatoooonnnn…” A whining moan made its way through the door. 

_Okay, so that’s definitely Napstablook. What’s he doing here?_

“Well it’s the truth, darling. That deranged cat monster will do whatever I say without question. Even the most ridiculous request,” his voice was bragging with a robotic twang. “Do you know I’ve got him buying every single one of my products, exactly when they come out? He’s probably got a shrine of the stuff in his room by now. I mean, he’s even paying for this apartment!”

“OOOOOooooooooo but Mettaton...don’t you make enough money already? I mean, you own the hotel downtown...you could just stay there for free? Sorry if that’s presumptuous of me...”

Burgerpants could feel building inside him, something that had been buried for a long while, his twitching intensified.

“Darling, it’s so much better when you’ve got a person so slavishly dedicated to you they would work themselves to the bone for an apartment they don’t even need. Makes me sleep better knowing my fans care so much for me. Plus, it’s his own fault for not questioning why the fabulous me would need an apartment like this.”

 _My fault?_ Remember that box from before? Well, the locks are coming off, baby. The Love that supposedly made up a part of his soul had dwindled down to a trickle.

Mettaton paused for a moment presumably listening to Napstablook, but it was too quiet even for Burgerpant’s cat ears. “But that’s the thing, Blooky, he doesn’t let himself realize it. I give Burgerpants purpose, and without me, well, he’d have no direction, nothing. He needs me-

 _Bullshit!_ There goes another lock. That hope that maybe Mettaton might one day appreciate his work, might one day give him an opportunity to act...was nonexistent now.

“-Blooky, he needs someone to...well, to boss him around. That kind of person, it’s all they’re good for. I’m doing him a favor.” The sweet, syrupy, false concern dripping from his words made Burgerpants nauseous.

 _SERIOUSLY?_ Last one! Compassion for the robot, any lingering feelings he had about the idol’s ability to act, gone. He couldn’t take it anymore. Burgerpants burst into the room to a shocked Mettaton and a quickly fading Napstablook.

“Doing me a favor, huh?! I gave up everything for you! My dreams, I put on hold for you! I wanted to work WITH you, not FOR you!” There was so much more he wanted to say, but it was like they stuck in his throat overwhelming him.

Despite being shocked, Mettaton managed to keep his cool and showmanship, posing before his response, “Poor Burgerpants, you really think people would want to watch you twitch on screen? Come on, darling, you’re too plain and boring. The people want-” he posed again, emphasizing his legs, “Starpower, darling.”

Burgerpants looked away, “Twitchy, plain, and boring, huh…”

Mettaton put on a show of being penitent and let out a long-suffering sigh, “Come on, Burgerpants, we can put this all behind us and just go back to-”

He was cut off by the violent laughing coming from Burgerpant’s hunched figure. For some reason, the air seemed heavy with not love, hope, and compassion but malice, resentment, and hate. That box is thrown wide open, now, and a dark swirling magic centered around the cat monster circled the room.

“To me, you were everything!” he pointed an accusing finger at the handsome robot. Dark magic danced around his outstretched finger.

An expression he had never seen before made its way to Mettaton’s face. His eyes widened, his relaxed pose stiffened. Fear. Burgerpants quite liked it.

“I will get my revenge!” he proclaimed.

At this, the robot seemed to regain his composure, “Revenge? Right now, you can barely touch me.”

He had contacted his bodyguards via his internal cellphone once he saw that strange magic. They were already carrying Burgerpants off the premises. Swirling vortex of darkness dissipating. Directed by Mettaton, they gathered the cat monster’s meager possessions as well, the non-MTT brand stuff he noticed, not that he’d want that other junk anyway. But Mettaton stopped them for a moment, an angry Burgerpants slung over the shoulder, for a few parting words. 

“From here on, I’m going to rise more and more, Burgerpants. Soon, I’ll be in a place where you couldn’t possibly reach,” he shot the cat monster a smile and a challenge, “To reach me, you’d have to break into the entertainment industry, and I think we both know how that’s not going to happen. Bye, darling!” He blew a kiss as they tossed him to the curb. 

And like that, with his two suitcases on the street that amounted to his life’s possessions, Burgerpants was on his own. But there was something different inside of him this time. It wasn’t the sting of cold, wriggling anxiety. No, there was a fire in him stoked by his anger, and a new power. What was that dark magic from before? Whatever, right now, he was someone new. Burgerpants was dead, but who will take his place?

“Someone, who will defeat, Mettaton.” He vowed and walked into the dark with new purpose and a new dream.


	2. Once He Haunts You There's No Stopping His DETERMINATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burgerpants goes to LME to start off his new career. Grillby knows something about Burgerpants' new power, and it has him worried. Tsuruga Ren makes his appearance, and he kicks Burgerpants to the curb. Burgerpants stalks Sawara-san hard. Also, robots can sneeze?!

The monster he had admired since he was back at the Underground oppressed him mercilessly and threw him away like he was a piece of tissue paper. Burgerpants has since cancelled the lease on that apartment he rented for the idol, and now lives at Grillby’s where he works evenings.

The flame monster stood behind the bar, polishing glasses with a worried flicker, as Burgerpants started to get ready to head out to try and join LME, the studio that directly rivaled Mettaton’s MTT. The cat monster knew it was a long shot, he hadn’t even been able to go to acting school because of the tuition, but now that he didn’t have to rent that expensive apartment, he could start to save up. Burgerpants was thankful to Grillby for giving him this chance, but any hopeful feeling that he would have felt at finally pursuing his dream was overshadowed by this burning in his soul.

“I can’t believe how stupid I was Grillby…” Burgerpants started. The flame elemental listened on in concern. He had noticed the change, noticed that new magic that hung around his friend in dark swatches. It was a magic he recognized. “You’ve been offering to rent me that extra room on the second floor of the bar since we arrived in Tokyo. It was such a sweet deal...but I had turned it down...for him,” He spat out that last word, not even wanting to say the name.

Burgerpants could feel his magic start to boil. That still unfamiliar feeling released from his soul and began to swirl around him. Grillby cast the cat monster a worried glance. 

“You know, I did the math?” he laughed bitterly as he pulled on his shoes. “I would have graduated already, if I had started when we first got here, if I had saved up from the beginning…”

Grillby watched his shoulders hunch. _Depression? Well, that’s better than-_

“IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, METTATON!” the exclamation made Grillby spark in surprise. Magic was heavy in the air. Grillby stepped out from behind the bar fearing one of the bottles might burst from the changing pressure, and the tirade was not over. “HIS ACTING WASN’T EVEN GOOD IN THE UNDERGROUND! BUT HIS AGENCY ACTUALLY SENT HIM TO SCHOOL!” he lost a little of his intensity as he remembered how hopeful he had been. Hopeful that one day, Mettaton would tell him he could go to classes with him. He even had a brochure saved...He was going to ask one day... 

“I-I could have gone with him, but I was working here, I worked at that damn fast food joint dealing with customers…I could’ve done it by now, Grillbz.”

He walked out the door with a single thought. He didn't see the dimmed flame of his boss and friend. He only saw the road ahead.

I ‘ ll n e v e r f o r g i v e h i m.

He walked down the street with a single thought.

I m u s t h a v e m y r e v e n g e.

He caught a glimpse of himself in a business’ window. It almost shocked him, how full of malice it was. He didn’t recognize himself. He slapped his hands to his face. 

_Gotta at least try to relax_ , Mettaton’s comment about his twitching came to mind. _I can control it, I can do it. Just wait and see you damn calculator!_ His soul beat in ecstasy, when he thought about making it big. _That guy’s pride will be shattered! Then, at his lowest point, I’ll kick his ass!_ He felt his face split into a malicious grin.

“He’ll throw himself at my feet, wailing ‘Please, Burgerpants, please let me act in your new movie, I’ll be finished in this business if I don’t!’” he was speaking out loud now doing his best to imitate the robot voice's metallic quality, passerbys looked at him with a kind of morbid curiosity like watching a madman’s ranting. 

“And I’m gonna say, ‘Sorry, the name’s not Burgerpants anymore...I go by BP now, plus, you’re too plain and boring and stupid and an asshole for my movie!’”

He felt something surge inside his soul, it wasn’t hope. Far from it. But it fueled him the same.

“I WILL GET YOU, METTATON!” the onlookers stepped back in shock and watched with a kind of pity as he rode off on his bicycle with a fierce speed.

\---

Meanwhile, a robot sneezed.

Napstablook looked at the shiny idol with a worried confusion, “I didn’t know robots could sneeze…you're not sick, are you? That'd be hoooorrribleee.”

Mettaton gave his cousin one of his award-winning smiles. Literally, he won an award for it just the other day. It nearly gave Burgerpants an aneurysm. Mettaton smiled wider at the memory.

“Don’t you know, Blooky, in Japan when someone’s gossiping about you, you sneeze!” He was plugged into the wall, charging, but not out of his EX form because he was in public. “I had Alphys make a general sensor to track when people talk about me, it just won’t do to not be a part of local tradition. I’ll turn it off when filming, though.”

“Oooohhhh, well, don’t you think it might, possibly, be Burgerpants talking bad about you…?”

Mettaton gave a sharp metallic laugh and waved him off, “So what? He can talk all he wants. It won’t hurt me.”

“Bbbbuuuuut, he looked kinda scary before the guards took him away...I never saw magic like that beforeeeeee...He might really get into the entertainment world.”

“No way," he dismissed the idea with a disgusting amount of confidence. "I’ve known Burgerpants ever since Alphys put me in that box all those years ago, long enough to safely say, breaking into this business is impossible for him.” Mettaton allowed himself a self-satisfied smile, “He doesn’t have the Determination for it.”

\---

At LME Talent Agency.

Burgerpants managed his most confident swagger as he walked up to the receptionist. He even remained unfazed as he watched her pleasant face disintegrate into a sneer.

_Great. Just what I needed. I thought all this monster hate was done for._

“Hello, I’m BP here for a meeting with Sawara-san?”

The receptionist’s sneer was replaced with an unapologetic smile, “Sorry, he’s out right now.” Her voice was cheery, she hadn’t even looked at the computer screen or made to call the man.

Burgerpants let out a sigh, “Look, I made an appointment for this time slot! I know he’s here!” His carefully crafted calm was beginning to break. 

“You must be mistaken... _sir_...I’m sure such a busy man as Sawara-san wouldn’t waste his valuable time on some _thing_ like you…”

Burgerpants felt it. The resentment for people like this stirred up that unfamiliar magic in him, but the spell was broken by the voice he recognized from the phone.

“Is there a problem?” The man was dressed appropriately for the business, a neat suit and tie. It gave him an easy confidence Burgerpants was envious of. He had to work hard for his.

“Sawara-san! I was just about to call security to escort this...monster...out of the building,” she seemed smug and sure that he would agree with her treatment of the situation.

“Rinda-san, that’ll be enough. Come on BP-san, we have a lot to discuss.”

The stuttering Rinda opened and closed her mouth in surprise, but Burgerpants and Sawara didn’t give her a second glance, as they walked to the cafeteria for a casual talk.

“So, you’re the one I talked to on the phone. The one who wants to join us, I must admit, it would be good to have monsters represented more in our company. I’m sorry about the receptionist. Rinda-san is like that at times, I really need to have HR give her a talk,” he sat down and relaxed his tone while taking off his jacket. 

“It’s okay, I’m used to it by now,” And he was, well, he thought he was. Usually, he would have taken the abuse with a face full of anxiety and walked right out of the building like she wanted. Years of customer service ingrained submission into him like a well-trained dog, but he almost lost it against that receptionist. What had happened to his quiet acceptance?

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Sawara-san said, and he looked genuinely sorry too, “Not all humans are like that,” but suddenly he was all business. He pulled out a notepad and pen, “Well, let’s get down to it. What kind of experience do you have?”

“Aboveground, 4 years of fast food, and as a waiter at a bar called Grillby’s.” 

He made a couple notes, the scratch of the pen made Burgerpants nervous.

“Okay, and education?” his tone was pleasant, but unreadable.

This question made Burgerpants uncomfortable. “Well, it was just me in the Underground. I had to drop out of high school to get a job to pay the bills…” He didn’t mention working for Mettaton. He didn’t know how they’d react to his involvement with the robot who was their biggest competitor, even if it was basically slave labor.

The corners of Sawara-san’s mouth turned down as he made more notes.

“Any experience in acting, at all?”

Another uncomfortable question, “Uhhh, none.”

The scratch of the pen stopped. He put down the pen and tucked away his notepad. He looked at Burgerpants with a hint of suspicion, “So, you have hardly any education and no experience, but you want to be an actor, so you thought you’d just walk in and we’d give you a job?”

The air was quiet between them.

Burgerpants gave the man his best apologetic smile, and shrugged his shoulders.

“You just want to get close to Tsuruga Ren, don’t you!” 

“What? No! I want revenge!”

“Revenge against Tsuruga?!”

“NO!!” How had things gone so wrong so quickly?

“LME is a place for those who have the talent and determination to perform and make money! Not petty revenge plots! You need to leave!” 

He was in the process of dragging the desperate cat monster out the building, when a calm and serious voice cut through the chaos. 

“What’s going on, Sawara-san?” It was enough to stop both of their frantic struggling.

The voice came from a tall, dark-haired man. His face was collected, if not a tad confused and curious as to what was transpiring. Sawara-san still had his arms wrapped around the cat monster.

 _It’s Ren Tsuruga!_ Burgerpants recognized him, as Mettaton complained about him often. The only actor in all of Japan who rivals him. Burgerpants was reminded of the conversation his coworkers were having before he quit, “Wow, he does have nice legs.” He nodded his head appreciatively.

Sawara-san’s hackles were raised like a cat, getting ready to fight, “I knew it! He’s just another one of those crazy fans!” he hissed. “You don’t have any real interest in acting! Tsuruga-san, this guy has no education and no experience and expects to be handed a job!”

“No, wait!” Burgerpants could feel everything start to crumble, the fire in him from before was dowsed with the cold, wet bucket of water that is reality. If he waited till he was done school, Mettaton will have already reached a place he can’t reach. He thought that maybe he could skip a few steps...beat Mettaton at his own game, but of course, what did he expect? He has no education, no experience... _This was a mistake_.

“I see…” Tsuruga-san’s face was that of righteous calm.

Before Burgerpants knew it, he was outside the building. _How’d this happen??_

“Don’t come back,” came the tranquil declaration from the handsome face.

 _I take it back!_ Burgerpants thought. _His legs are the worst!_ He felt the hatred rekindle the fire that had almost died out. _I’d never thought I’d hate anyone as much as that robot_ …dark magic swirled around him for a while until he managed to contain it.

 _I can’t give up now, that much is for certain. After all_ , he thought bitterly, _I have nothing else in me but this hatred_.

Burgerpants stayed kneeling, knowing it has cultural significance in Japan, plus he didn’t trust himself to not run away if he got up. He sighed. _This is the only agency that can rival Mettaton’s right now, there is no other choice for me but to stick it out_. He let his blood boil again, an electric energy conducted throughout his soul. 

He became thoughtful, _Sawara-san was willing to give me a chance, before he knew I had no education, no experience and before he thought I was some kind of Tsuruga Ren stalker...maybe he’s the weak leak I can exploit…_

Burgerpants was filled with: malice, resentment, and hatred.

_Anything to get back at Mettaton!_

\---

Watching Burgerpant’s determined vigil outside of the company from a window was a distracted Ren. 

_I thought that monster would have given up by now..._ He couldn’t help but be a little impressed. He didn’t let it show on his face, though. He was a professional after all.

“Ren! Time to go!”

He spared the brooding, kneeling figure one last look. _Let’s see how long he lasts…_

\---

It took four days. Four days to wear down Sawara-san.

“Look, I believe you now, okay?” Sawara-san was exhausted, “You’re not a stalker of Tsuruga Ren…” _But he does know where I live now. I’ll never get that doorbell ringing out of my head._ He shivered. _Should I call the cops?_ He shook his head, the monster was earnest and crude, but not dangerous. He put his head on his desk in defeat. Never in all his 41 years has there been someone like BP, with such determination. “You might be able to make it if you keep up this tenacity...but, I only surrendered to you for a specific reason.”

Burgerpants leaned in, curious as to what the talent section supervisor had in mind. His four day, not stalking, but persistent following of the man had been enough to make him fond of the overworked guy.

“I was going to tell you this before Ren came along the other day. There are no guarantees, but there is an audition to enter our agency for those like you. It ensures that, no matter your background, the candidates are worthy of us.” He became serious, a determined energy that Burgerpants thought he had lost on day 3 of his stalk-uhh persistent following. He became more impressed with humans.

“If our president doesn’t believe you can make it...you cannot join our agency.”

_A chance!_

“I see...please give me the details. I’ll audition!” He’ll take anything he can get!

Sawara-san was a bit confused, thinking he’d be more flustered and panicked. There were only five days to prepare after all, but Burgerpants was just relieved that he now had a goal to work towards.

 _I’ll do my best! He thought looking down at the papers._ He was so distracted by ideas of what he’d perform for the president that he didn’t notice the human in his way. 

“Sorry-” he began to apologize before he could see who it was.

As he looked at the face of cold indifference, Burgerpants could feel the magic drain from his face.

_Tsuruga Ren?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, BP does things a little differently than Kyoko. He actually made an appointment. He's a little more world-wise than her, but still manages to be in the same predicament ^-^ they have so much in common tho it's fun to write. Poor Sawara-san tho...hehe I always felt bad for him. I really would like to know what people think so far! comments are welcome!


	3. Audition of Horror Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burgerpant's confrontation with Tsuruga Ren leaves the monster reeling. But before he can delve too deeply into the idol's words, Grillby comes to you with a surprising request and answers as to the source of Burgerpants' dark powers. The audition is nigh and already the horrors begin! Things may be more difficult for BP than previously thought!

The shock of seeing Tsugura Ren was wearing off quickly to be replaced with annoyance as Burgerpants remembered their last encounter. The tall celebrity snatched the application out of his paws sending another shock through the monster. Ren stared down at the paper with an air of superiority. _Gods I hate this guy._

“The Newcomer’s Audition?” His voice was calculated disinterest, “So Sawara-san gave in after all?” He didn't even spare the monster a glance, “How weak.”

Burgerpants had to use all of his control to quell his instinct to bristle and willed his fur to stay down. His efforts didn't leave much concentration for a comeback.

Tsuruga Ren just looked at the cat monster with a pitying glance and sighed.

_What the hell?!_

“Hey! What's with that ‘it’s no good even if he tries and should just give up before he wastes his time and makes things worse’ sigh??”

“Whoa,” The towering man feigned being impressed clapping his hands together lightly, “are you a mind-reader? Psychic? Can you read my palm too?” 

“What? No!” This guy was throwing him off, “It's just anyone could tell with that obvious acting! Contrary to what you think, this means something to me! It's not a waste of time!”

The look he gave Burgerpants was like he was stating a casual truth one that everyone should know, “More like a waste of time for the people who have to judge you.”

Stunned. Burgerpants was stunned, but not for long. _The nerve of this guy!_ It wouldn't take much now, to send him over the edge. Already he could feel the magic welling under his skin. He dug his partially extended claws into his paw, holding it in.

“You didn't even make an effort to study acting, some people wait years before applying, and you just waltz in on a whim? You even wore down Sawara-san and for what? Because you were bored?”

That did it. He remembered his past four years above ground, his suffering under Mettaton. It drove the black of his magic, the fire of his soul. The air around them crackled with its static.

“Revenge,” his voice was not a scream, but it held the weight of one, “Revenge on Mettaton! Is that good enough for you?!” He nearly growled as his ears flattened to his head.

The vehemence of his declaration and the strangeness of his reason took Ren by surprise as evidenced by the shock on his face. The expression was genuine and not the celebrity’s usual flawlessly sculpted facade. Just as fast, it was replaced with confusion.

In a quick and practiced motion, he took out his phone mumbling to himself questioningly, “Mettaton?”

Burgerpants felt his stomach drop.

“You don't know who Mettaton is?! You’re actually looking up who he is in front of me, right now?! He's only the most popular monster celebrity in Japan, not to mention the world. He rose to fame quickly these past few years, shocking the world-WHY AM I SINGING HIS PRAISES?! FORGET EVERYTHING I SAID HE’S HORRIBLE!! NOTHING!! SCUM OF THE EARTH!”

Ren only lent Burgerpants half his attention as the monster ranted, the rest of it was focused more on his phone until satisfied with his research.

“So it’s that robot. I remember seeing something like that...somewhere,” He clapped his hand on Burgerpants’ shoulder, “Don't worry, all you have to do is not act so stiffly and you'll surpass him in no time.”

_What? What is he saying? That this will be easy? Or is he implying that he's on a whole different level than even Mettaton? That he doesn’t even consider him a rival?_

Stunned once again. Burgerpants was stunned.

“But I'll tell you this,” there was ice in his tone and it weaved itself throughout his face, “the audition will be completely different than convincing Sawara-san.” There was a cold fury behind his eyes, more threat than warning, “You won't make it on determination alone.”

Burgerpants couldn’t suppress his shiver. His magic was extinguished. Never, in all the interviews he was forced to watch with Mettaton, who was determined to find out this man’s weakness, had he seen this side of the usually gentle giant.

In an instant the hostility was gone from the idol’s face to the point where Burgerpants questioned if it was ever there to begin with. _Professional! This guy is a pro!_ Some half-buried part of Burgerpants' soul wanted to take notes. The unsettling aspect of a sudden change, that smile that reached his eyes but still somehow seemed venomous. He could learn something from this guy. Oh, how that rubbed him the wrong way...

“But I can see that you won't listen to reason,” the smile bled into his tone, but his words were far from pleasant. “Go, rush headlong into tragedy. I won’t stop you.”

All polite smiles and gentlemanly mannerisms, Ren Tsuruga handed Burgerpants back the audition application and went on his way. 

Burgerpants could feel that the man’s taunt was meant to be a distraction from his previous behavior, but he was too much on edge to care right now. He grabbed the papers and left with as much dignity as he could muster while mumbling curses in Tsuruga Ren’s direction.

\---

Later, back at Grillby’s in Burgerpants’ small but cozy room.

He has had time to think on Ren’s words. _Of course, I know I can't do it on Determination alone. I'm a monster. I have barely any DT to begin with. But the guy didn't have to be so hostile about it!_

Burgerpants sighed, _It's a pity I couldn't get along with Ren. He would have made a strong ally against Mettaton. Gods know I need all the help I can get._

“Oh well,” he stabbed a tack through a small picture of Ren’s face pinning it to the wall with fierce sureness right next to a much larger poster of Mettaton’s legs the only surviving piece of his forced collection, “Onto the wall of revenge you go.”

Burgerpants did not think twice about possibly repairing his relationship with Ren. He still believed that friends were just things made up by hot people to take advantage of regular people. _Not that I think Ren is hot!_ he willed such thoughts away. Plus, he had no Hope for success in such an endeavor, anyway, nor Compassion for what circumstances would make Ren use a venomous face like that with such ease. Neither did he have Love, for anything. _Well, not Love, but maybe LOVE_. He allowed himself a shudder, _how could I even think that?!_

 _But,_ he thought to himself, _revenges do often end in tragedy. Violent tragedy._ Thinking about all the plays he knew on the subject, movies even, he realized they almost exclusively ended with the death of the protagonist and/or other innocents. He clutched his hand over where his soul would be, that power that lay just below the surface. He could feel it itching to come out, to be used. During this whirlwind of events, he hasn’t had any opportunity to really ask what this new power is, or where it came from, or what it is capable of. He felt a pit grow in his stomach.

_Can you be scared of yourself?_

Before he could delve deeper into these thoughts there was a knock on his door. The shuddering shadows beneath the door frame reassured him that it was the flame elemental.

“Come in, Grillbz.”

Grillby was still dressed his usual bartender garb. _He must have come up right after closing the bar. Did he have something important to say? Wait, was it that late already?! How long have I been up plotting?!_

“BP, I have something important to discuss,” _Oh yeah, I forgot that I asked him to call him by my initials..._ It was his stage name now, his new identity. Sometimes even he forgot that. BP made a mental note to use this more often in his own thoughts. _Wait, Grillby was talking?!_

BP was awestruck by the flame’s voice, it sounded hoarse, but warm, crackly and soothing. _That was a voice that could get you famous quick_ , he thought. BP squeaked out a, “Yeah, what’s up?” and cursed his own ineptitude.

Grillby fiddled with his hands nervously. His eyes shuffled to the side. He decided to cut to the chase, “Can I see your soul, just for a moment. I think something is wrong.”

Stunned. BP was stunned for the third time today. _Wait, was it still today? Whatever, close enough._

It was an odd request, but he trusted Grillby. He was even talking, a good enough indication that something big was troubling him.

“Sure, buddy. But don’t think this means I wanna, well...you know,” After the awkward dodge of the sexual implications behind revealing one’s soul, BP motioned for his soul to come out. But nothing happened. He tried to get his soul out again with more effort this time, but it wasn’t budging. “What?”

Grillby nodded, like he was expecting this. 

Ignoring the flame elemental’s odd behavior for now, BP tried once more to procure his soul, which was an odd enough feeling in itself. He never had to try before. It would just show up, the vulnerability was automatic. But now, he couldn’t remember what it should feel like to allow his soul to come out. Panic, stinging and icy in his core, struck through him.

“Grillby,” his voice was breathy coming in short rasps, “What’s wrong with me?” His fur was standing on end.

“Your soul is cracked,” came the immediate reply. His voice was full of concern and sympathy, but this did little to comfort BP.

“Cracked?” How? Why? Oh wait...he knows why. The cold panic was gone, replaced by that familiar burning, that single need. “Mettaton did this,” his words did not have to be loud to cause Grillby to flinch. His flames wavered in hesitant arcs.

“BP, look,” Grillby took out his own soul. The upside down, pure, white heart was perfect and whole, with a light tinge of green in its aura. BP didn’t want to look away, and he didn’t. When he moved closer, he saw that he was wrong before. Grillby’s soul was not perfect. Hairline cracks danced across its surface. It was easy to forget sometimes, that Grillby was there when the barrier went up, that he fought in the war with humans all those years ago. BP wouldn’t be forgetting anytime soon.

“It is possible to heal…” he put extra emphasis on his next words his flame going brighter with their import, “But you have to want to.” He gestured to the Wall of Revenge, “Things like this, dwelling on it, will only make it worse. Too much, and it will break.”

BP knew what his boss meant. He knew what he’d have to do to heal, to become a real monster again.

“I can’t, Grillbz, and I think you know I can’t…” BP took a deep breath, it hitched in his throat crowded by tears he willed away. “Mettaton hurt me,” he gave a humourless laugh, “He even cracked my SOUL.” He placed his hand on his chest where he could feel it’s faint pulsing. Despite its refusal to appear, it was still there. He was still here. And there was something he needed to do.

BP was quieter with his next statement, more thoughtful, “There’s something in me now, something I let out. It’s leaked out my cracks, I guess,” he gave a dark chuckle, “My own Pandora’s box...I can feel it there, it’s a magic that promises me revenge, and I can’t let that go.” He was realizing this as he said it. _Maybe that’s why I didn't question this power this whole time, I already knew. It was just a matter of putting it to words._

The flame elemental nodded, “I understand,” he put his own soul back. It was evidence that he truly did know what BP was going through. “I want you to understand, though, there is another way.” And with that, the elemental left him to his thoughts.

“No,” he sighed, “no there isn’t.” He looked down at the pads of his paws and thought of the soul that should be there. “What was it that, Tsugura Ren said? ‘Go, rush headlong into tragedy?’” 

BP smiled. “Don’t mind if I do.”

He was filled with: malice, resentment, and hatred.

\---

The day of the audition.

BP looked around at the gathered crowd. _There’s more monsters than I thought, I figured if a monster wanted in this business they'd team up with Mettaton._ Aaron was here, but he wasn’t sure if the seahorse monster was auditioning or just flexing for the attractive people gathered. And by the gods were they gathered. It drove a stake into his already fragile ego. He looked down at his own secondhand clothes and felt more than a little disappointed. In another week his check from Grillby’s would come in. It wouldn't be much, but he could have at least afforded some new clothes.

He sighed. The world was against him, but that was nothing new. 

But before BP could brood more on the unfairness of the world from over the quiet murmur of the crowd a young woman with long dark hair began shouting. 

“Who brought a kid like this here?!” she held a young child roughly by her arm. The little thing was dressed very cutely in western style clothes. “I’m here willing to risk my life for the sake of this audition! You can’t bring children in a place like this that’s eat or be eaten! I’ll lose my concentration.” 

She turned to look at the crowd accusingly, “Where’s her parent’s, huh?” Suddenly she made eye contact with BP, who had decided to lean against the wall while watching the show. Her gaze went from focused to fierce at light speed. She tossed the girl at him, “Get out of my sight!”

“What the hell?” he looked at the kid, “Uh, heck, she’s not my kid!”

“Of course, I know that! Obviously” she gestured to all of him. “But if I find out you’re using Magic in the audition, I will personally kill you! It’s an obvious unfair advantage to the rest of us,” there were a few affirmative grunts from the crowd. “Plus, you’re acting all relaxed-” she couldn’t be more wrong “-you should be tense and fired up! You’re not even wearing new clothes! I’m Irritated just looking at you!” Her actions reminded him of a certain fish monster.

With a final accusing point of her finger she shouted, “So, you go and disappear with that kid! You don’t belong here!”

_What the ever-loving fuck?_

_I will NOT lose to that lady_ , BP murmured in the dark of his mind as he watched her disappear into the crowd having said her peace. In the midst of BP’s new revenge plans, some friendlier people in the crowd were trying to help out the lost child who was crying prettily. 

BP’s face didn’t soften in sympathy as the others did, nor did he offer any sort of motion of comfort. Instead, he began pinching the kid’s cheeks roughly. 

The others recoiled in shock, murmurs of protest and declarations of the increasing amount of mean people in Japan rippled through them. 

Something BP had wanted to forget, even while he was still Burgerpants even before he knew Mettaton, surfaced and broke through his meager control of his magic. It swirled around him, frightening the others off. The black, smoke-like tendrils caressed his form in an aura of shadow before disappearing into the air.

“Little buddy,” his voice a furious calm, “do you believe that anyone, no matter gender or species, can always get help just by crying?”

\---

Meanwhile, the judges are taking a brief break between sets of applicants having gone through twenty already. None had left a significant impression, yet.

Among them is Sawara-san who was flipping through the stack of applications when he came across BP’s headshot. Instead of a pleasant smile like all the others, his is more like an uncertain baring of teeth, anxiety ridden, and almost funny to look at.

 _Didn’t you have a better picture?_ He thought with annoyance. _You call that a smile? If I hadn’t let you audition, you would’ve been rejected in the application screening!_

An unsettling feeling dropped into him suddenly. 

_Rejected?_

_If you don’t make it past the preliminaries, what’s gonna happen TO ME???_

A horrifying vision clouded his mind. He and his wife and daughter were being chased by your terrifying dark clouds of magic, a doorbell ringing incessantly in the background.

“Time to let in the next set of applicants.”

The threat became even more real in Sawara-san’s mind. _Wait! I’m not ready!_

\---

“It’s about time for the second half to start…” Ren was sitting elbows on knees hands folded to allow his chin to rest there. He looked the picture of deep concentration.

A blonde bespectacled man looked at him questioningly, “What’s going to start?”

In the background stagehands were readying the next scene for whatever movie the star was filming.

“The agency audition,” Ren replied simply.

The man’s eyes went wide behind his glasses, “I’m surprised that you want to know how the audition’s coming. Usually you only realize it’s even going on AFTER the fact.”

He looked at Ren who hadn’t moved from his concentrated position, “Is there someone you’re curious about?”

“...Well...In a way, yes.” _Revenge..._ he thought. _How long can he survive with such an unbelievable reason?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is my favorite so far and I hope you enjoyed it too! It's got a little of everyone and ice queen Ren who is my favorite :3 This chapter already had a lot going on and was becoming too long. Because of this, I decided to save the president's introduction for the next chapter. Also, I have something special planned for BP's talent! I'm looking forward to writing it!


	4. Audition of Horror Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally meet the president of LME, and it's in the flashiest way possible! The audition starts in earnest now, and BP finds stiff competition with Kotonami Kanae. Even with her amazing talent, the judges are impressed with what BP does, but can he hold it together to pull through in the end?

“Everybody,” the announcer declared over the microphone, “please get up on the stage. Numbers 31 through 46 in the front row, the rest of you in the back row. After our judges are introduced each of you will introduce yourself.”

BP looked around and saw the familiar Sawara-san sitting with the other judges. Their eyes met. The beleaguered man broke into a cold sweat.

 _He looked at me...it’s gotta be a threat right?_ he felt an unholy pressure in his skull.

BP watched as Sawara-san made a pained face and rested his head on the judges table. _Does he have a headache or something?_ he wondered with concern.

The cat monster refocused his attention on the rest of the judges as they were introduced, _Wait, isn’t the president supposed to be here?_ There was a chair that was blatantly empty. Before he could ponder this further, an explosion of pyrotechnics and confetti erupted onstage.

BP felt his fur stand on end in shock, but the sudden assault on his senses wasn’t nearly as astounding as what came next. It was like the entirety of Rio during Carnival had made its way into the judging area. Scantily clad dancers gyrated in ways BP never thought possible for humans to the deep beating of muscular drummers. They danced and moved to the beat that BP could feel thumping in his core, sweat beaded on their cocoa-colored skin from the intensity of their performance. Among the dancers was a sombrero wearing Japanese man with a bright white cape and tassels galore. He danced like one of them, completely at home.

The announcer had a deep rosy blush on his face as he declared, “We will now introduce you to the current president of LME Agency…”

The dancing man tossed his sombrero to the crowd of stunned applicants and in an incredibly deep voice announced his identity, “I’m Lory Takarada.” With a flourish, his cape and tassels fluttering with the force of it, he greeted them, “Hello, everybody.”

 _Does he do this with every group?_ was the first thought to cross BP’s mind, after he managed to pull himself out of a state of complete shock.

There was something about the president that reminded him of Mettaton, perhaps it was the showmanship, the over-the-top fanfare, or maybe the genuine love for the spotlight that shone in the president’s eyes when he saw their faces. 

_He reminds me of Mettaton back in the Underground, before I worked for him._ Other applicants were now being asked why they came to the agency, he had some time before his turn. It wasn’t often that BP allowed his mind to wander back to that time, back to when the robot inspired him to want to bring smiles to people’s faces, to make the world Underground just a little brighter for the monsters whose lives were far from okay. Mettaton used to be someone who brought light to people, a little bit of excitement to the everyday and boring. _That was the guy I wanted to work for...not this selfish, power-hungry asshole he has become._

It was his turn to talk, he knew what he had to say. He set his jaw with what grim Determination he could muster. “I want to catch up with Mettaton at MTT Agency!” he announced into the microphone.

Sawara-san felt the life drain from him, _Th-th-th-that monster!!!! WHY?! Why did he say such a thing?_ He grit his teeth together, feeling a massive headache take roots in his skull. _Did you forget that I almost threw you out because I thought you wanted to join our agency just to get close to Tsuruga-san? Don’t you understand it’s the same even if it’s Mettaton you want to get close to?_

The other judges were already beginning to talk, “I was somewhat looking forward to him, since you let him audition, Sawara-san…” Their expressions ranged from bored at best to annoyed at worst. “But she’s just a groupie.”

_He’s not going to make it!_

“I don’t think we can expect any real talent from him,” one judge continued.

 _He's definitely not going to make it!_ Sawara-san saw only death in his future.

“Don’t you think,” a low rumble commanded their attention, “If he was simply Mettaton’s groupie, that he’d want to join HIS agency?”

“President…” Sawara-san felt hope kindle in him. 

“You guys don’t feel there’s a deep meaning in his actions?” the president continued as he reclined seductively in his chair.

“Not at all,” came the unified reply.

“Hmph,” he pouted, “You guys are no fun. Use your imagination!”

 _The President is interested in him...He may make it, yet!_ He clung to that ember of hope in him like a man dying of hypothermia.

“You imagine too much, President,” one judge dismissed.

“Yeah,” the other judge agreed, “Stop trying to make everyone into characters from a shoujo manga or some kind of fanfiction.” 

After the applicants’ declarations of why they came to this agency, the audition moved on for them to display their talents. The woman who had thrown the child from before, whose name was Kotonami Kanae BP made sure to note, reason to join LME was to become a great actress, and her talent matched that dream just right. She memorized an entire script in seconds dictating passages chosen by the judges with pinpoint accuracy. The other applicant’s talents ranged from ballet to tap dancing, singing to playing an instrument.

BP couldn’t help but think of Kanae’s words from before, _You’re plain! You don’t belong here!_

_I may not have any fancy talents like these humans, or am a genius at memorizing like Kanae, and I may be forbidden from using my magic...But there’s something I can do! Don’t underestimate those in the service industry!_

“Number 61, are you ready yet?” The stagehands had finished setting up his little station.

“Yes!” He allowed himself some confidence. If anything, he was doing something unlike anyone else.

 _I’ll have to thank Grillby again for letting me use some of his stock, and it’s the good stuff too. If I drop anything there’ll be hell to pay…_ He remembered the surprised sparks that emitted from the monster’s pleasant flame when he had asked. A warm fondness tickled his soul. _Of course, I’ll pay him for the stuff I use, too. He is running a business after all._ He already was too indebted to Grillby.

The cat monster walked onto the stage and saw the familiar bartender’s tools laid out for him, the judges whispered amongst themselves, and some of the applicants let out muffled laughs. 

He breathed in, then out, but the anxiety remained in the pit of his stomach. He tried to burn it away with that heat inside him. He thought of Mettaton, the way he was treated by someone he once admired. It ignited. He was ready.

Juniper berries, violets, lemons, and cherries.

These are the things poisons are made of. 

He grabbed the gin made from juniper berries, coriander, and fennel. The brand was called Death’s Door. It wasn’t the fanciest gin Grillby offered him to use, but it was good for cocktails, and he chose it specifically for this day. He held it in his hand for a moment before he tossed it, sudden and violent. The fragile glass spun midair with a nudge of his elbow. He turned and grabbed it again with his back turned. The bottle never stopped, its momentum carrying it through the air in dramatic arches and mind boggling accuracy as he juggled it around at impossible speeds. He poured some of it into a shaker, spinning that as well. The liquid would leave the shaker only to be captured again by his expert hands. He moved on to the Creme de Violette, still tossing the gin and shaker. The liquid was a deep purple, nearly black, it reminded him a lot of his newfound magic. It smelled like flowers.

He juggled them together for a while, juniper berries and violets. The bottles danced around their partner a mere hair's breadth from crashing into each other. Then, he changed tempo. It was lemon’s time to shine. He added just the right amount of lemon juice to the shaker and began juggling that bottle with the rest. Each arching crest going higher and higher. He balanced the Creme de Violette on the edge of the gin bottle, while he set down the lemon and shaker. He vaulted the Creme de Violette into the air, put down the gin, grabbed the Creme de Violette as it came down, spun it, and set it next to the gin, but he wasn’t finished yet.

Maraschino liqueur. He picked it up, hefted its weight, then tossed it higher than any of the others he had thrown. Before it reached the crest of its arch, he grabbed the lemon juice as well adding it to the air. He followed them with the Creme de Violette and the gin. All ingredients were now being juggled together, barely touching his hands as he tossed them back up. Sometimes he’d take one and pass it through an incoming bottle’s arcing path. At some point, the gin, Creme de Violette, and the lemon juice were dropped off. He poured the Maraschino liqueur into the shaker with a flourish, and shook it like any normal bartender would before finally pouring the liquid straight up into the waiting cocktail glass. He topped the drinks off with a cherry each.

The whole act took a delicate touch, and hours of practice. Grillby had taught him well. You don’t work at a bar for four years without learning a thing or two, and BP was a hard-worker if anything. He wasn’t as good as the flame elemental, but that guy had eons of practice.

BP brought a drink to each judge, “Here is the Aviation made with Death’s Door gin, Creme de Violette, lemon juice, Maraschino liqueur, and served with a single cherry. Enjoy.”

Juniper berries, violets, lemons, and cherries.

This is the poison he hopes will get him to Mettaton. He chose the Aviation specifically because of its namesake’s association with flight. He will rise to the top of this industry, and he will show that damn calculator that he is someone! 

A person to respect. A person to fear. 

During his performance, he had forgotten about the crowd. He was not paying attention to them, every ounce of his concentration was on the careful balance he was weaving with the bottles, the physical embodiment of this poisonous grudge he held against Mettaton, but he looked at them now and tried to gauge their reaction.

The other applicants were quiet, but the judges sipped their drinks with smiles. They applauded him and exclaimed at the taste of the drink. Sawara-san gave him a wink and a thumbs up. BP felt relief wash over him. 

He went to clean up Grillby’s stuff, and packed away the bottles and shaker in a bag padded with a towel. He’ll get the glasses later, once the judges were finished with them.

 _I never thought something I’d learned in my four years of servitude would help me in this process._ He let some kind of confidence seep back into him, as he wrapped the glass bottles, _Has it really been so long since I actually felt good about something I did?_ He shook his head, _I’ll show that Tsuruga Ren! Guts are enough to make it in showbiz!_

“Hey, you,” a voice pulled him out of his inner pep talk. It was Kotonami Kanae. “You’re juggling…” BP expected her to say it was mediocre and stupid, a typical bully, but was surprised at her response, “It was amazing.”

“R-really?” he didn’t know what to say.

“Showing off a skill like that at an agency audition is _so_ unusual, everyone will remember it.”

_So, she’s this type of bully, huh?_

“Don’t be jealous, baby,” he lit up a cigarette. He had checked beforehand to see if it would be alright. Japan tended to be more lenient to the habit than where the monsters first came out at. He figured it would be the polite thing to ask, knowing he’d need one after his performance.

“I’m not jealous!!” she nearly screamed, “And don’t call me baby!” After her initial fluster, Kanae became serious again, “Don’t get me wrong...You stood out from the crowd, and I think the president noticed you too. But that’s because you don’t belong here. You’re like a rare animal, a dwarf hippo…”

 _What the hell is this chick talking about? A dwarf hippo? Is this a human thing?_ BP figured that there were still things he needed to learn about humanity though you’d think four years would be enough time.

“I will make a prediction,” she continued, “I will pass this audition as the most promising newcomer, but you will be the first to fail.” She gave him a confident smile and walked back to the stage as the announcer called for the next part of the audition.

 _Why is this industry so full of arrogant assholes?_ He sighed and took his seat onstage, trying his best to contain the magic that wanted to get out and threaten Kanae who he just had to be seated next to.

“Everyone will now do a reaction test. Please react to the prerecorded words the person on the cell phone speaks to you,” he held up an old flip phone.

“Do you know…” Kanae whispered, “that the LME audition actually starts now.” BP looked at her, eyebrow raised. “The qualifying round is the same every year, but after that, it’s different every year.” She kept talking as the other applicants gave their reactions, “That’s because, the president decides this test himself. If the president doesn’t like you, he will fail you without mercy,” as she said this the president was steady giggling at the applicant’s reactions.

BP felt that this guy doesn’t seem so merciless, but he recalled Sawara-san saying something very similar, and decided to take her warning seriously. _He is the president of the company for a reason,_ he supposed. 

Meanwhile, Sawara-san worried for BP. He looked at the president’s smiling face, _Please gods, I pray that this smile will stay until everything is over._ The stressed man looked back at BP, _Fortunately, the president has taken an interest in you. You’re almost there, if you pass the preliminaries, you’re almost at the door of show business._

It was Kotonami Kanae’s turn, she listened to the phone seriously.

 _Something simple is enough_ , Sawara-san continued in his mind.

BP watched as Kanae’s expression changed in response to the words coming from the phone, then she cried saying, “I’m so happy.” She looked the picture of lovestruck fool. It was over in an instant, but it was enough to leave a favorable impression on the judges. They praised her ability to cry with such short notice. 

Sawara-san was on the edge of his seat, willing BP to react acceptably. _It doesn’t have to be as good as Kotonami-san’s! Simple! Simple!_ , he pleaded in his mind.

Kanae handed BP the phone. He pressed it to his ear and listened intently.

 **I was a fool,** the message began. **My pride blinded me, I couldn’t see how selfish I was being.**

BP felt his eye start to twitch. That nasty habit starting up again. This voice reminded him an awful lot of he-who-shall-not-be-named…Despite BP’s growing rage, the voice continued.

**And I finally realized...how much...you loved me.**

That was enough to unleash the floodgates on his memories of him slaving for his boss. His body shook with anger. BP became desperate to hold it together. 

**I know I’m being selfish, I’m sorry.**

BP’s magic leaked out and around him in those same dark and smoky tendrils. His face was clouded with the rage he felt deep within his soul. The applicants around him were growing unsettled, the judges rapt.

**Will you give me another chance?**

For a moment, BP said nothing. Then, his whole demeanor changed. A pleasant and relaxed smile passed over his face, “I’m happy, I knew you’d realize you were wrong and come back to me someday.”

Sawara-san and the president were relieved, but BP wasn’t done yet.

“You thought I really meant that?! If ‘sorry’ was enough, there’d be no need for hell! I’ll send you there myself you asshole!” He threw the phone, and with the added strength of his magic, it burst into so many different pieces. 

BP realized his mistake too late, _Damn it!_ he tried to pick up the pieces. “Sorry! I broke the cell phone…” When he looked up at the judges, Sawara-san was letting out a disheartening noise of defeat. The president himself had a sad puppy dog face. He looked like he was about to start crying.

_Crap…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't drink a lot, and bars really aren't my scene, so I had to do a little research for what cocktail I wanted BP to do, but I knew that I wanted him to do cool bartender tricks for the judges. It was a lot of fun to write, I hope you enjoyed reading it. I have to say, I can't wait to write more Kanae and BP. Their dynamic is so fun. But get ready, sad times are ahead for BP!


	5. The Emotions He Lacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BP receives some bad news. Can he handle it alone?

BP looked at the paper announcing those who passed the preliminaries with a kind of numb acceptance. He hadn’t made it.

“So, you _did_ fail,” it was Kotonami Kanae. _Great, just what I needed,_ he thought, _this crazy bitch…_

“Hey, baby, couldn’t get enough of me before?” he flirted with no real enthusiasm and took a drag of the cigarette he had balanced between his fingers. BP didn’t even look at her, he was too busy trying to not stare listlessly at the paper.

She flustered, as he predicted she would, but he got no satisfaction from it.

“Shut up!” she hissed before regaining her composure quickly. He felt a flicker of appreciation for her talent, but it was gone in an instant replaced with that same cold apathy from before. 

“So,” she was like a cat with the mouse backed into a corner, “it’s as I predicted, right?”

She expected him to rise to her bait, to fluster and argue in return, but he didn’t. He just turned and left without another word. BP didn’t feel like he could take anymore today and the conversation was tedious. Kanae was a little disappointed, she had this whole thing planned where she’d turn dramatically and say good-bye with a sweet smile…

 _Oh well,_ she thought, _It’s not like we’ll ever meet again._ She hummed pleasantly as she went to join the other applicants who passed the preliminaries.

 _So, I gave it my best, and it still wasn’t enough?_ BP chuckled darkly as he walked through the halls of the agency not giving Kanae a second thought. _Why does that sound so familiar?_

He tried to keep the smile on his face, even the nervous anxiety-filled one, but it just kept slipping away. He breathed out a smoke-filled sigh. The cat monster felt a strange calm in him. It was cold, and a small part of him was scared of it, but another part reveled in it. Better to feel this nothing than that horrible alternative.

He bumped into Sawara-san on his way out.

The supervisor tried to talk to him. In fact, he seemed almost desperate to explain why he didn’t pass, but BP could barely bring himself to listen.

Something the man said rang in his mind though, “A celebrity can only be a celebrity when the public wants them. They can grow because they’re loved.”

 _Makes sense,_ BP thought, _I didn’t pass, because I’m not loved._ He realized that Sawara-san was still talking while his mind had wandered. BP tried once again to listen.

“...You should always remember to love your audience…” at this BP gave a harsh laugh. Sawara-san looked at him with confusion.

“I’m sorry, Sawara-san that was rude, but...I think I understand…” BP tried to put some emotion into his words, but there was nothing left for him to give. It was all gone, taken by a robot celebrity and a merciless piece of paper.

“You mean, you’re convinced?” The supervisor seemed almost disappointed? “I thought you’d be more persistent...I mean, you were so tenacious when you were stalking me. Where’d that determination go?”

BP couldn’t help another humorless laugh, “Don’t you know, Sawara-san? Monsters don’t have a lot of Determination...in fact, it’s nearly nonexistent when compared to a human’s.” BP was quiet for a moment, still working on his cigarette. “Can I ask you something, Sawara-san?”

The serious man nodded.

“How can you love someone you’ve never met?” _When even the ones you have will break you without a second thought?_ he added to himself. 

Sawara-san looked at him with disbelief, “But...if you want to be an actor, you should want to have people watch you...and love you...right?”

BP raised his eyebrows. He took the cigarette out of his mouth to answer, “Yeah, I guess so…” BP thought back to the Underground, when he was so excited to get a job at the MTT hotel, when he was filled with hope for a better life, when he felt compassion for the monsters who were suffering, when he felt love for… “a long time ago.” He felt something over the ocean of calm that had descended on him, it forced a pained expression to the surface of his face. He was grateful when the calm overwhelmed it again.

“Anyway, thanks for everything, Sawara-san.” He turned to the door, but before leaving he added, “I know you did what you could.” With that he walked down the street to where his bike was chained, carrying the bag of Grillby’s things back to the bar. 

The monster’s words left an unsettling feeling in his stomach, like maybe letting him go was a bad idea. Standing near the door, Sawara-san debated whether or not he should chase him down. In the end, he decided against it.

 _I don’t understand that guy at all. He came at me with a tenacity that scared me, but now…_ He thought back to that expression the monster made before he left, how empty it looked. _He looks like he’s given up on being loved._

POKE.

Someone had jabbed a finger right into where the middle-aged man’s kidney rested snugly in his flesh. “GAHHH!!!!” he clutched his side. The perpetrator looked at him with a sweet smile and ringlet curls. It was the same girl that had been thrown at BP before the audition.

“What happened, old man?” she asked pleasantly, “You’re here alone, making such scary faces. I was so worried, I couldn’t help talking to you.”

“Oh, Maria,” he recognized the kid.

“The results of the preliminaries are in, right?” she seemed excited, but Sawara-san was just confused.

“Huh? Well, yes.”

“What happened to number 61?” the question was innocent, if not oddly specific.

 _That's BP-san’s number...is it a sign? Should I chase you after all?_

“Old man?”

\---

Meanwhile, BP kept his mind carefully blank. Thinking about anything was dangerous, he could feel it. This cold calm, it was like a cancer that kills you slowly before taking everything all at once. He couldn’t feel that strange magic either, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. BP focused, instead, on riding his bicycle, on the pleasant burn in his legs, and the weight of his bag on his back. He didn’t think on what was in it, that would remind him of his performance, and his significant lack of anything to show for it...

He thought about the wind that pressed against his face. He thought about keeping his balance on his bike, on not crashing into anyone. But, he could only keep this up for so long until he finally made it to Grillby’s. Of course, then there’d be the literal unspoken question...How’d it go? Did you make it? 

_What should I say? ‘Thanks for letting me use your stuff, Grillby, I know it was a huge risk for you, but it just...I’m just...no good…’_ he sighed and got off his bike to go for another cigarette. Once lit, he held it between his teeth and pushed the bike along. He wasn’t in a rush. _I should have known. That Ren tried to warn me, didn’t he? It really was a waste of time in the end._

He didn’t want to see the pity from the flame elemental. He didn’t want to explain his failure. He didn’t want to face reality. Each realization weighed him down more and more. And just like that, he was at Grillby’s. He looked up at the familiar building. Usually, the glowing neon would be a comfort, but now it was like a signpost to more humiliation.

He exhaled a puff of smoke and walked his bike to the side entrance.

Time to face the fire.

\---

Back at the LME agency building in the president’s suite, a forlorn Lory Takarada dressed in naught but a revealing robe was distraught. He couldn't look at alcohol without thinking of applicant 61. It had gotten so bad he requested BP’s application. He now stared at it with smoldering concentration.

“The people I respect,” he read aloud, “the monster who brought smiles to the faces of others and now no longer exists, and the monster who took me in when I had nowhere else to go…”

The president paused before continuing, “Hobby, plotting the demise of my enemies…”

He let out a frustrated sigh…

_My instincts tell me that he will not be able to grow as a star if he can't love his audience...but I'm still so curious, if I let him into that world...what will he do?”_

His thoughts were interrupted by a ringing phone. The president answered with a casual curiosity and his eyebrows shot up when he recognized the voice, “Sawara-san?” 

_Should I let him go, when I feel that I’ve got something here?_

\---

BP managed to avoid the flame monster during his shift. It was busy enough so that whenever Grillby cast him a curious glance he could turn away and tend to the customers, or wash the tables, or sweep the floor, or wash the tables again…

_I can't keep this up forever._

BP could feel the frustration coming off the flame monster in waves of heat. He felt the panic that had been stinging his stomach since he returned increase to an unbearable degree as his shift neared its end.

_I can’t tell him, I can’t, I can’t. He’ll hate me, I can’t, the only one I have left..._

“Hey, Grillbz,” a low toned voice broke the spiral of his thoughts. “Long time no see.”

The flame monster’s bespectacled face tore itself from BP in surprise at the familiar voice.

 _When did Sans get to Japan?_ BP wondered briefly, only to shake it off, _Not important right now, I can use this._

“Heading out for a smoke, Grillby-” and before the monster could protest, he was out the door running into the night. He felt the apathy that had encased him all day finally break. Tears started running down his face, but he refused to acknowledge them.

If he ignored their salty sting, maybe they would go away.

If he willed the emotions to recede back inside, maybe his soul wouldn’t hurt so much.

But they wouldn't go back.

He needed to find somewhere, anywhere, safe. But quiet places don’t exist in the city. The press of people, the weight of their lives was always present, and the loneliness was of a different breed than it was Underground.

He wanted to disappear, to be anywhere else.

The magic inside him reacted, finally, after its long absence. He tapped into it, and suddenly he _was_ nowhere.

He was in the void, but he didn't know it.

It was cold. It was dark. And he was alone.

This is what he wanted right?

 _No...not like this_ , the dark threatened to suffocate him, like it was an actual physical thing. _I just wanted…_ Wait, what did he want? There was nothing for him on the surface, and there sure was nothing for him back Underground.

 _Maybe this_ is _what I want…_ He was just so tired of trying and trying and having nothing to show for it.

It was easier to just let the darkness take him.

...

...

...

 **Burgerpants?** A voice reached out to him in the void. 

Just go away. Could he not escape that name even in this nothing?

 **Heh, no can do, kiddo.** The voice wasn't mocking but contained something like sympathy.

Wait, you can hear me?

**Yep, and you need to come back, now.**

What's the point...there's no reason to anymore. Revenge is impossible, my dreams...they don't mean anything anymore. I can't really help anyone…

The voice was quiet like it was deciding the best way to answer.

 **Can't say I don't agree with you, kid.** Well that's not what he was expecting, **Can't say I haven't had those exact same thoughts…That's the reason I can be here at all in the Void.**

It was quiet for a long time.

**But...I’d be _patella_ ing a lie, if I said that going back wasn't worth it.** His voice grew fonder, **I've got someone waiting for me, and there's someone waiting for you, too.**

Who?

BP felt the darkness part. A blue clad skeleton stood on the crowded sidewalk extending a bony hand.

“Come find out.”

\---

Grillby’s flame was very dim. He should have pressed BP more...the cat monster was obviously upset. The audition probably didn't go well.

He felt his stomach drop. _BP wouldn't try anything, would he?_

Before he could let himself go farther down that train of thought, Sans walked into the empty bar with a downcast cat monster trailing behind him.

“See, Grillbz? Told ya, I’d find him.”

BP looked up at the flame elemental’s flame as it flickered in relief, and felt something break in him.

The tears that threatened to overflow the whole walk back with Sans came out all at once. The strength of it made his head hurt, and he was thankful that the bar was closed.

Then he felt the comforting warmth of the flame elemental’s embrace.

He didn't need words. He knew he'd be okay.

\---

Earlier that day at the LME Agency Building, the future of applicant 61 was being discussed.

“Really, President?!” it was Sawara-san’s voice, and it was unusually excited. “You’ll give him a second chance?”

The president was wearing what appeared to be an army general’s regalia equipped with medals and golden shoulder pad tassels, “Yes, if we trained him from scratch, I believe he’ll be a hit.” He had this gleam in his eyes that seemed to say the real reason he was doing this was because it sounded fun.

“Thank-”

“But...He does lack an important emotion. If he comes back, it means that his passion makes up for the lack of love. Only then, can this plan be set in motion.” He was firm with this. _This is your only chance, monster. Come back and show me just how determined you are._

“Don’t worry, he’ll be back.” _The monster who chased me down for four days straight wouldn’t give up after one failure._ A wave of doubt hit Sawara-san after he remembered the face BP wore when he left the agency. _No, I’ll believe in him. He will come back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write because BP's feelings hit close to home for me. I have struggled with apathy and nihilism for a long time. But it did get better for me, I have to work hard for it, though, every day. But I am happy, and BP will be too!
> 
> In the next chapter...a familiar face...


	6. Resurgence of Hatred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar and unwanted face makes his way back into BP's life. Will it be enough to spur him forward?

The flame monster listened with his whole body leaned in and patient as BP relayed to Grillby what had happened at the audition. His act was good, he had stood out from the other applicants, but he still didn’t make it. 

“They told me it was because...I lacked the ability to love my audience.” He let out a chuckle that ended in a sigh, “That was the reason...isn’t it funny?” Grillby shook his head no, and gave him another comforting hug. BP returned it, but let go after a long moment. 

“I think...tomorrow, I’ll start looking for a day job,” BP explained resignedly. He still felt embarrassed about everything. His luck wasn’t the best to start out with. How could he possibly think he could make it in that industry? How could he be so stupid?

_Even if I did my best, I just can’t put my broken soul back together,_ he held his hand to where the shattered thing rested within him. _And even if I tried, it would never be the same as it was_.

“So, you’re giving up?” A previously forgotten voice spoke up. He sounded...angry?

Grillby shot him a fiery glance. The fire monster didn’t need words to say ‘be gentle or I won’t be’.

“Don’t get all _hot_ n’bothered Grillbz, but you’re thinking the same thing, right?” the skeleton looked back to BP. “He believed you were serious about this, that’s why he lent you his stuff, that’s why he was so worried about you today.” The permanent smile on the skeleton’s face became something more menacing, his right eye went dark and the left exploded with a blue flame, “Are you going to let all that go to waste? What kind of friend are you?”

“That’s enough, Sans,” the flame elemental finally spoke up resting a stern hand on the skeleton’s shoulder to silence the threatening monster. “BP has been through enough today, let him rest. You and I have something to discuss, anyway.”

An ominous expression lingered on the skeleton’s face, before the magic was dispelled and he shrugged his shoulders then shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. “Whatever you say, Grillbz.”

BP looked at Grillby. This was the monster who took him in when no one else did, who gave him a job, who was singularly the best boss he had ever had. He agreed with Sans, though. He wasn’t the kind of friend a monster like Grillby deserved. He couldn’t express the amount of gratitude and admiration he felt for the monster, so, he just said, “Thank you.”

Sans scoffed, but the fiery monster seemed to understand BP’s thoughts. His flame warmed and flickered with soft yellows of fondness. He nodded and brought Sans to his office in the back leaving BP to be alone.

BP exhaled a sigh of relief, and went to his room. Tomorrow, he’d look for a new job. Tomorrow, he’d pull himself up by the bootstraps and continue like nothing had happened. Tomorrow, he’d find a way to move on, but tonight…

Tonight, he’ll allow himself to feel.

\---

_I have a lot of experience, so it shouldn’t be too hard for me to find a job,_ BP thought. He had planned to go job hunting this morning, but he had slept well into the afternoon. The night had been hard. 

He winced at the memory. Tears had stung his eyes like angry wasps over and over, unrelenting. His face still felt puffy. But at the end of it all, he had accepted the reality.

BP would never get his revenge.

_Don’t think of that now._ It was time for his shift.

He tied the apron around his waist and let out a sigh. He plastered his best customer service smile onto his face, perfected after years and years at MTT Hotel and at fast food chains across the surface. It was the one thing he was good at. He walked down the exterior stairs down to the bar area. He could hear a large crowd gathered. Was Grillby having some kind of event? The smile that was etched into his face dropped immediately when BP saw what had caused it.

Standing with a growing crowd of admirers, monster and human alike, was the robotic horror that the rest of the world knew as Mettaton. 

BP ran into the kitchen before the monster could notice him. His heart beat with a fierce rhythm in his chest and a cold sweat broke out. _What the HELL is he doing here?!_

He could hear the computerized voice of the robot over the throng of the crowd, in absolute ecstasy at all the attention. He fought the desire to gag and he pressed his ear to the door to hear what the monster was saying.

“-by’s used to be a restaurant back at the Underground, it was small compared to the luxurious eatery you could find at my MTT Hotel in Hotland, but it had its place in the daily lives of monsters.”

_That’s his interview voice,_ it was even more expressive than usual. _It must be some kind of bit on how monster-life was like Underground. He’s not here for me..._

He hadn’t told the robot that he was working at Grillby’s, partially because he didn’t want the monster coming to boss him around while he was working and partially because Mettaton had never bothered to ask. _I wouldn't have told him even if he begged_ , BP thought bitterly.

But now he was faced with a problem. He wasn't ready to face Mettaton, not so soon after his embarrassing failure at LME, but he still needed to work! He couldn’t stand being so in debt to the fire monster. He felt like a leech, stealing Grillby’s vital essence and giving nothing in return.

The door to the kitchen opened and an exhausted version of that selfsame monster stood in the doorway. He shut it quickly upon seeing the cat monster.

“You don't have to work today,” his tone was rushed.

“I already saw him, Grillby…” he felt another surge of appreciation for the flame elemental, always looking out for him. He would never be out of this monster’s debt, “Plus, it’s chaos in there! You need an extra hand,” BP could tell the rush of people was overwhelming him. His flame was dim and painted in sickly green in places. 

He looked torn it really was a mess out there...but, he couldn’t let his friend do this. “I don’t want you to have to deal with him...and you know he’d say something about it in front of that camera.”

_There was a camera, too?_ BP hadn’t seen it. _I was too focused on Mettaton._ Oh how it peeved him to think that. 

“If he humiliates you now a lot of people will see it...then, your chances of getting famous would be ruined,” Grillby continued.

“Wait, you still thi-”

He was cut off by the flame elemental grabbing the food that he had originally come into the kitchen for, “I don’t want to see you out there.” There was no negotiation in his tone as he left.

_Grillby still believes that I can be famous…he’s even trying to improve my chances_ he felt a genuine smile find its place on his face. BP had thought that the flame monster was against him getting into showbiz. _No, wait...that’s not right…He was against me going into showbiz for revenge._

As BP tried to digest this information, he heard his old name being called in the next room. He ran to the door to press himself against it again straining to hear what was being said.

“Like, Mettaton, whatever happened to Burgerpants?” 

“Oh yeah! I remember him! He, like, used to work for you, right?”

BP held his breath, he’d recognize those voices anywhere. Bratty and Catty…Now _that_ was a can of worms he refused to open.

The pause Mettaton gave was longer than necessary, bordering on awkward. Then in a perfect innocent tone he asked, “Who is Burgerpants, darlings?” 

_WHAT?!_ BP felt the rage in him rekindle once more brighter than ever. _After everything I’ve done for him, he’s PRETENDING TO NOT KNOW ME???!!!_

“Like, he was that cute guy who sold Glamburgers, right, Bratty?”

“Oh my gosh, Catty! He was so not cute!”

The pair paused a moment before laughing together.

Mettaton laughed as well, “Sorry, darlings, I can’t be expected to remember _all_ of my fans, now can I? But you two…” BP could imagine the seductive look he would be giving them right now, that bastard, “I’ll _definitely_ remember!” They both squealed in delight. Mettaton then steered the conversation back to his new movie. It was going to be a rendition of Frisk’s journey through the Underground with soundtrack done by Napstablook with Mettaton staring in all the leading roles of course.

Dark tendrils of magic emanated from BP, and for once he didn’t try to suppress it. The dark magic coiled around him like a poisonous snake. _I’m so PISSED!_ he curled his paw into a fist, clutching tightly. He needed to do something, anything, to get rid of this burning in him, but there was nothing he could do. 

He was so frustrated...he wanted his revenge, but they had ousted him at LME! That was his only shot! But...he had been denied before. _I didn’t get Sawara-san on my side right away…It took four days of constant stalking before he broke._ BP didn’t even try to disguise what he did to that man as ‘persistent following’ anymore. He tried to tap into that energy, that drive that came so easily back then. If there wasn’t a path he could take normally...he’d forge a new one! Suddenly, instead of burning in place, he now had a goal to reach. 

_I need to go back to LME! I need to go back NOW!_ He knew Sawara-san would be there. BP had the man’s schedule memorized after all. He would convince the man somehow!

BP could hear the crowd in the bar, they were as loud as ever.

_They’re not going anywhere anytime soon._ BP imagined the frantic flame monster trying to cater to Mettaton’s ridiculous requests. _Sorry to leave you while you’re so busy, Grillbz, but...I’ve gotta do this!_

He threw his apron onto a hook on the wall, grabbed his bag from his room, and was off.

He had been Determined before. He could do it again!

\---

“One week…” Sawara-san said aloud his arms crossed in concentration. He was sitting leisurely in the building's cafeteria.

Ren sat next to the supervisor waiting for his manager to return with his lunch. He raised his eyebrow in unspoken question.

“BP-san,” he clarified. The name made Ren frown slightly. “The president is giving him another chance. Within one week, if the monster proves that his passion outweighs that emotion he lacks and returns to the agency...he will become a part of this company.”

Ren couldn't help but feel exasperated. _Why was this guy always coming up?_ He covered up his fluster expertly with a small laugh. “Is that really wise? Letting someone with a reason like _that_ into the agency?” _Revenge? How immature…_ Ren’s eyes reverted back to that cold stare thinking about the vehemence that BP had declared his revenge with. 

Sawara-san was surprised by the man’s frost-laden words. “It's rare to see you hate someone Tsuruga-san...you're usually so mild-mannered.” _How have you made even Tsuruga Ren your enemy already?!_ Suddenly, Sawara-san became even more worried for your survival in this industry. 

“I wouldn't say I hate him…” He gave Sawara-san his best gentleman’s smile, “I just really dislike him.”

The smile sent a shiver through Sawara-san. _Isn't that the same thing??_

“I don’t want someone with such an implausible reason in the same business as I am,” Ren continued.

“You've got a point,” Sawara-san agreed, thinking back to the reactions of the other judges at the audition. _Catching up to Mettaton makes him seem like nothing more than a crazy fan_ , “And you hold those in your profession to a higher standard than most, Tsuruga-san, so I guess it can’t be helped that you feel that way…” _But the president thinks there’s more to the monster than that,_ Sawara-san mused to himself. _The president may be unique, but he’s usually a good judge of people_.

While the two talked, while BP pedaled towards the agency with a frightening speed, the person referred to as 'unique' was making preparations.

“Yes, so if someone like that shows up, please cooperate. Thank you. Bye,” he hung up the phone in the penthouse of the agency. It was a palace in its own right. 

Lory Takarada was dressed as a wartime Hungarian prince would, fur laden cap with a long bright feather jutting off of it from a blood-red jewel. He posed dramatically, and his fur-trimmed cape waved in sync with his movements. Golden buttons adorned the front of the military jacket and he leaned casually on an ornate sword. 

“The groundwork has been set into motion...now, we just wait for him to show up.”

He wouldn’t need to wait long because outside the agency at street level, a storm had arrived, and he was filled with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having so much fun with this story, and I have big plans for Sans! They are so big, in fact, I may make a spin off all about what the heck he's doing in Japan in the first place. It doesn't have much relevance to BP's story, tho, so I don't think he will ever know why Sans is there. He's got his own stuff to deal with after all.


	7. Renewed Determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BP goes back to LME and "sneaks" past the receptionist to demand another shot. More ridiculous president, more Tsuruga Ren, more smoking BP!

BP stared up at the LME building with renewed Determination.

_I’m finally here!_

He stood on the sidewalk with a strange confidence filling him. Even if they send him out, he’ll be back! He couldn’t let his sacrifice be for nothing, he couldn’t let his only friend’s hopes be misplaced, and he WOULDN’T let Mettaton get off scot free with all that he’s done. 

_First things first, BP, getting past the reception desk…_

He didn’t have to worry about them during his last visits because Sawara-san was expecting him. _And when he wasn’t, I just waited for him outside..._ But borderline illegal stalking wouldn’t do this time. He needed to convince the president, and he had a feeling that the flamboyant man wouldn’t be as easily persuaded as Sawara-san. 

BP snuck inside, getting strange glances from the regular employees. _Rinda isn’t at the reception desk anymore,_ BP noticed. In her stead were two pleasant looking ladies. _Good riddance_.

He tried to walk as casually as possible to the hallway he knew would lead to Sawara-san’s office.

The receptionists watched his progress with amusement. “Hitome-chan, isn’t that the cat monster that the president told us to let in?”

“Yes, I believe so…”

“Should we tell him something?”

BP made his way with attempted stealth through the crowds daintily heading towards where he knew Sawara-san would be.

“Well, he’s going the right direction. We should just alert the president that he’s here.”

“Okay,” But neither of them moved to make the call first. They were too busy watching BP do a James Bond-esque roll to hide behind a potted plant in the lobby. Other people were either giving him a wide berth, or ignoring him entirely.

“This guy is weird…”

“Yep, no wonder the president likes him.”

BP laughed to himself at how lucky he was the receptionists didn’t see him. He had made it to the hallway, and now it would be smooth sailing to Sawara-san’s office! 

\---

“Ren,” the bespectacled manager called out. “Sorry to keep you waiting. Kamio-san is here.”

“Finally,” Sawara-san declared and started walking down the hallway, “When you’re a star, being late is a privilege.”

Tsuruga Ren smiled politely, “Why don’t you say that to her?”

Sawara-san let out a noise like a deflating balloon, “No way. Let sleeping dogs lie. If you make her angry, she’ll bully you for life,” _And I already have someone like that, stalking my shadow…_

Ren just hummed the smile never leaving his face.

“Oh, Tsuruga-san!” It was Kamio Kimiko, “I’m sorry to keep you waiting. I was caught in a traffic jam!” She was dressed stylishly like the established celebrity she was, but with a little too much make-up.

“Is that so?” Ren smiled. His tone was as gentlemanly as one could get, “Next time, if you use the time you spend putting on all that makeup to get here, you’ll be on time.”

 _Reeennnn!! Why?!_ Sawara-san was dying on the inside.

Kamio-san was simply at a loss for words.

“The other actors are waiting for you, too. Let’s hurry.”

She could only agree with him and follow the giant of a man dumbly.

 _You really show no mercy to anybody, Tsuruga-san…_ The supervisor’s heart couldn’t take much more of the ridiculous people he managed to find in his life…

“By the way,” Ren started, “Where’s your stuff?” _Usually, the woman has about three suitcases full of outfit changes…_

“Oh,” she was glad that the heat seemed to be off her now, “I was walking down the hallway, when suddenly this fool of a monster ran directly into me! He’s back there, now, carrying my stuff as penitence.”

 _Fool of a monster?_ Ren thought. _That can only be one person…_

Sure enough, standing there holding the actress’s many bags was BP. He looked annoyed at having being roped into carrying some starlet’s things, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own. _Guess I should have paid more attention_. He shrugged and inhaled a puff of the cigarette he was nursing as he waited for Kamio-san to return.

Tsuruga Ren wanted to be annoyed at how once more BP managed to find his way into his life. However, he couldn’t help but smile a little at how put out the monster looked. Ren watched the smoke swirl around his unreadable face. He looked tired. Did he not sleep good? _Wait what? Where’d that come from?_

Ren felt the corners of his mouth pull down. That was weird. He didn’t think anymore of his sudden concern as he watched as the monster’s face light up. The tiredness was pushed underneath a wave of determination.

“Sawara-san! I’m glad I found you, I couldn’t give up after all.”

“Yes, I knew you’d be back,” Sawara-san was shaking his head in approval, but BP was so focused on trying to convince the man that he didn’t notice the Sawara-san was already willing to let him stay.

“I know it may be impossible for me...but there’s nothing else I can do. There’s nowhere else I can go! I’ll do anything!”

“That’s the passion we needed! Passion to surpass even your defect!”

“I have magic, I could help out with backstage things, special effects and stuff like that. I’ll do manual labor, I can cook and clean. I’m begging you! Please let me join LME!”

“Well said!” Sawara-san said simply clapping his hands onto the monster’s shoulders.

Finally BP seemed to hear what he was saying, “What? Really?”

“Yes, to start off finish what you started here with Kamio-san. I have to go talk to the president, but Tsuruga-san can explain a little more for you.”

Before BP could feel irritation at the actor’s name, he had managed to not see the man pass by, Kamio-san called out to them.

“Hey my bags! Hurry it up back there!”

“Oh, yeah. Okay. Thank you, Sawara-san.” But the man was already gone. He stuck the cigarette back in his mouth and started following the two actors.

“That looks heavy. Want me to carry some?” Ren walked alongside him seemingly polite. BP didn’t trust it.

“Nah, I’m good,” it was nothing that BP couldn’t handle. 

“Come on, I insist.”

“No.”

“It just doesn’t seem fair to make you carry everything.”

“I’ve got it.”

“I’m just trying to be a gentleman.”

“I don’t NEED a gentleman!” _What the hell? Stop already! Why is he being nice, it’s creepy!_

“Stop being rude to Tsuruga-san, monster!” 

“The name’s Bur-uhhh I mean...My name’s BP lady, not monster.”

“Fine, BP, whatever. Just carry my things in silence. Stop bothering your betters.”

The starlet’s treatment of him reminded BP uncomfortably of Mettaton. He let out a sigh. This business seemed chock full of people like the robot. Had he given up one form of servitude for another? Would getting into this industry truly be worth it? He shook those thoughts away. _Yes it will! I have to stay Determined! This is all temporary, Mettaton is a million times worse than any one person here. If I can work under that narcissistic heap of scrap metal, I can take anything these people can dish out._

Ren had been watching the expressions on the monster’s face change dramatically over the span of a few seconds. First, he seemed withdrawn, like a dog used to being kicked. Then, he seemed nauseous as if realizing something horrible. He watched as the monster forced that away, fixing his eyes in a stern stare. 

_Well, his face is pretty expressive. That should be helpful once he finally starts learning, what he lacks is control…_ Ren caught himself before he could go any further. _Stop. Stop already. This guy’ll be gone soon enough anyway. No one would be able to stand to stick with the president’s humiliating plan for long anyway, which reminds me..._

“So, the president and Sawara-san were really impressed with your audition…” They wouldn’t stop raving to him about it. He was getting sick of it to be honest.

BP remained quiet. The pain of rejection was still fresh for him.

“They both decided that if you came back within a week, that they’d let you be a part of this new program the president is devising. If you do good, then they’ll let you debut with the company.”

“What’s this new program?” BP said this with a hesitant curiosity. He couldn’t help but think that there was a catch somewhere. _Nothing is free in this world_.

“It’s called the LoveMe Section.”

_There it is...the catch…_

“That is the single most embarrassing name for a program that I’ve ever heard.” _The president is even worse at naming than King Asgore. Well former king._ You can’t kill a bunch of kids and expect no punishment. He was tried and sentenced to life for murder in the first degree. _But wasn’t there something in the works to shorten his sentence, since he was trying to free his people?_ BP couldn’t remember. He didn’t keep up with politics.

“That’s the president for you,” they were nearing the elevator now. “From what Sawara-san told me, you’ll be doing odd jobs to collect points, and eventually you’ll be allowed to be a part of the company for real.” 

This made BP thoughtful. He had promised that he’d do anything to be allowed to become a part of this company, and this program seemed to be just that. Doing anything. _What have I gotten myself into?_

Finally at the elevator, BP still had a lot to chew on. The elevator opened to reveal Sawara-san, he looked relieved.

“BP-san, I’m glad you’re still around. The president would like to talk to you.”

Ren gave him a parting smile, and Kimiko a parting sneer. 

“See you soon, BP-san.” He waved and they got on a different elevator. 

BP frowned. Ren was being nice...but instead of becoming fond of the man, it just made him uncomfortable. Like he had an ulterior motive.

“Come on, BP-san!” Sawara-san was holding open the elevator door for the daydreaming cat monster.

Instantly the confusion at the celebrity’s behavior was replaced with wriggling anxiety that flopped inside of him like a dying fish. He was about to meet the president...of this company...who owned this building he was in right now…

He stood next to Sawara-san stiffly. This would be different than performing. In a performance, he had a role, something to do with his hands. Even at work, he was playing the role of server, of bartender. This time there would be no buffer...just him and the president who could decide his fate with a casual word. He felt exposed. He could feel his twitch trying to return.

“The president is happy to finally have someone to finally test out this program on,” Sawara-san said suddenly as if sensing the monster’s anxiety. He gave BP a look that exuded ‘don’t worry.’

BP allowed himself to calm down a bit. He was expected. They wanted him. There was nothing to be anxious about. He repeated that in his mind like a chant. It allowed the painful stinging to recede into a dull throb.

They reached the president’s penthouse.

It was…

Well…

Pretty much what he expected after that entrance the man had given back at the audition. 

_Was that really only yesterday?_ It seemed like a lifetime. 

The president’s penthouse was a palace in its own right. His shoes made an echoing clack on the glassy marble floors and grey-veined columns lined the walls. He heard what sounded like an epic sword fight in the distance, and to his surprise that’s what it was. 

The president, still dressed as a Hungarian prince, was going at it with all he had against someone who actually did seem like he was from Hungary. Sweat flowed freely from them both, but they didn’t care too engrossed in their fight. The other man seemed to be hard pressed to keep up with the president’s enthusiasm, but they stopped once they noticed their guests.

“Sawara-san! And BP! It’s good you came! That’ll be all today, Bence.” 

The sweating man nodded, “ _Auf Wiedersehen, Lory_ ”.

“ _Bis bald!_ ” he returned in perfectly accented German. 

The president then turned his attention to the new arrivals, “Now, let’s discuss the LoveMe program!”

BP winced at the name, but the president didn’t seem to notice. 

“You came back a lot earlier than I thought you would, BP, nothing is ready yet. But I adore your enthusiasm!”

The cat monster felt a small, but genuine, smile eat away at the last of his anxiety, “Thank you.”

The president led them to a table laden with an intricate silver tea set. There was a silver platter piled high with what looked to be some kind of sweet absolutely drenched in powdered sugar. BP fought the urge to stuff them all in his mouth at once.

The president poured them all a cup of steaming tea. _How did it stay warm? Is it freshly brewed?_ BP didn’t think that humans knew magic, but then again, he had learned to expect the unexpected with this president.

“Now, to business!” He seemed excited, but he tempered it with a serious expression. His already booming voice lowered an octave, “BP, you lack something very important. Without it, you won't be able to make it as a celebrity.”

BP nodded, he knew very well what the president spoke of.

“Do you think, there is a possibility of ever regaining that trait?” The president sounded hopeful, but BP had forgotten what that felt like.

“No.”

Sawara-san nearly spit out his tea. _Whyyyyyy BP-san?! Just lie!_ He rubbed his temples. 

The president just nodded, like he expected that answer.

“But…” BP began. “I think...that if I ever were to regain it, this program would be the only way.” He became thoughtful. _I surely wouldn’t be able to on my own…_

The president brightened, “That’s what I like to hear! The best way to regain your love for others, is to have others love you! That’s what this program is about, getting people to love you, hence the name.”

 _So, I have to join a program to get people to love me? That sounds so desperate…_

But BP was desperate. 

“You’ll be doing favors for people,” the president continued, “whatever they want, within reason of course, nothing illegal. And they’ll rate your service with stamps. I’ll be getting you a notebook to keep them in. Come back in a couple days, and we’ll get started.”

BP was hesitant, “That’s it?”

“That’s it” the president agreed. “In the beginning, you’ll be mostly working backstage, but eventually you’ll get work where you could appear on TV.”

“Really?!” BP had never thought he’d actually make it on television. It seemed too good to be true. _This is my chance_ , BP was finally willing to accept it. _I can’t let this opportunity go by!_

“I promise, Takarada-san, I will not disappoint you. I’ll try my best to regain what I lost!” 

BP was filled with Determination!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll take some time to explain my reasoning with these honorifics and some name stuff. It seems inconsistent, but I got a (kind of?) system going. Sawara Takenori always has "-san" at the end of his name cuz he's a very serious business guy, and when I reference him it's always family name first cuz that's the way they do it in Japan. When I reference Lory Takarada, however, I put in the western way with his first name first. I do this because i see his character as more of a worldy guy and not too tied to the traditions of Japan. He addresses Sawara-san with "-san" because he knows this is the way the man would prefer it, but he doesn't with BP because BP isn't from Japan originally and likely doesn't care. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	8. Forgotten Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BP spends some time for himself before he's outfitted with the LoveMe Section's ostentatious gear, and we get a little of Mettaton's perspective as he and Ren have a little face off.

BP spent the days leading up to his work at LME, well, working. He got in as many hours at Grillby’s as the fire monster would let him. Partially to make up for when he left without saying anything, he had gotten a good scolding for that when he got back from meeting with the president, and partially because he actually enjoyed the work.

Now that he no longer had Mettaton to constantly support, some of the desperation to work himself to the bone was gone. He only had one job now meaning he wasn’t so spread thin. The breaths he took were those unburdened by stress. BP hadn’t realized how much it was bringing him down until it suddenly wasn’t there anymore. 

He found for what seemed like since before he ever started working for Mettaton that he actually had free time on his hands. He almost didn’t know what to do with himself. 

Almost.

He started studying up on acting, and the type of literature they had on the surface. He began reading the classics: Shakespeare, Marlowe, Chaucer. He watched movies: cult classics, blockbusters, and TV shows, anything that he thought might help him, anything that he could get his hands on that they didn’t have in the Underground. The internet was truly a godsend in this endeavour. And the things that he did find were things that made him even more passionate about acting. And he studied acting itself as well. Methods to project, methods to control. 

He didn’t have a lot of time, but he wanted to at least be exposed to some of these things before he started at the agency.

It was work, but it was invigorating.

He was actually moving forward. For once, he was enjoying the work he was doing. For once, his life wasn’t revolving only around Mettaton.

The difference was beginning to show on the outside as well. His smiles were no longer forced, his twitching no longer as frequent. It was so much so, that people began to notice. Grillby’s flame brightened when he saw the cat monster smiling for no reason. Even Sans, who was hanging around the bar a lot these days, noticed. He mentioned the change on the third day since BP talked to the president.

“You’ve changed, BP, and its not just because of your name.”

After BP realized the skeleton monster would be around more often, he’d asked Sans to start calling him by his initials. Burgerpants was dead after all.

BP just nodded at his comment and let out a satisfied sigh. “I know that I’ve got a long way to go for my revenge, but right now, right now I feel like I can take a moment and breathe...Haven’t felt like this in a long time.”

Sans just nodded, then looked at the door as someone came in. His eyes lit up at the familiar face.

“Gotta go, BP, bringing Paps out with my friend.”

BP raised a questioning brow, but Sans just shook his head. “ _’Snot_ like that so stop being _nose_ y.”

BP just laughed, both at the oblivious monster and the pun. But then he felt that familiar bitterness inside him. When would he feel like that again? The flutter of a new love? Would he ever?

 _It’s all Mettaton’s fault!_ He started wiping down the tables harder. 

The brief moment of peace that the monster had felt was gone, replaced instead by that burning inside him. These past few days were only a dream, he couldn’t forget why he was doing this in the first place.

R e v e n g e.

Once more BP’s world revolved in a vicious circle around the monster who had betrayed him, used him, then threw him away. 

BP was filled with: malice, resentment, and hatred.

\---

The one who was the recipient of all this negativity in BP sat leisurely at Fuji TV. He had just finished the last part of Bratty and Catty’s interview. It was originally supposed to be a piece about what the monster’s were doing with their freedom on the surface, but Mettaton had managed to spin it to be more about his upcoming movie. He even gave them an exclusive behind the scenes view of the set. 

_No one wants to watch something boring and feel-good, anyway. They want me...and who am I to deny them?_

Well, everyone except one monster.

Mettaton didn’t think about Burgerpants very often, in fact, he tried very hard to NOT think about the cat monster, but when he did the thought left a bitter taste in his mouth and a nagging feeling at the back of his mind.

There was someone out there who didn’t love him.

He fought the frown that threatened his face settling for a sultry pout.

It became easier to do when he heard some of his fans gushing over him in the distance. A self-satisfied smile stretched across his metallic mug. _Well monsters like Burgerpants don’t matter much in the end anyway. I still have all of my adoring fans._

Then, the tone of their chatter changed. It became more frantic and disbelieving. They weren’t even looking in his direction anymore.

 _Huh? What’s going on?_

Mettaton tried to glance nonchalantly in the direction the crowds were looking, but his manufactured coolness turned into unrestrained gaping when the monster realized who it was causing all the ruckus.

_Ren Tsuruga!_

He felt his circuits surge uncomfortably and his Soul thump in his chest. He pouted again scrunching his lips together in restrained anger. This guy was his biggest rival in Japan. Other countries had fell to the monster’s charms easily, but Japan was proving difficult. It was hard to break into Japan as a foreigner. The Japanese liked other countries, but they loved the Japanese. Sure, Mettaton had their attention, and as a living, sentient robot how could he not? But this man had their hearts, and THAT is what he wanted. 

There was being famous, where people knew your name, and then there was FAMOUS, where people worshipped the ground you walked on. 

He would like the latter thank you very much.

And this human was in his way. 

_But not for long_ he smiled sleepy and venomous like a snake just woke and hungry. _Let’s see how he responds to a little provocation..._

Before the celebrity could cross Mettaton’s path he let slip a little of his magic, a small wrapped present with its own parachute that carried it lazily in Ren’s path. It let out an explosion not unlike a small firecracker and about as harmful while knocking down an ashtray that was nearby. It was enough to get Ren’s and the surrounding crowd’s attention. An uncomfortable silence settled across them.

“Sorry,” Mettaton started, pitching his tone a dramatic apology, “magic is a little hard to contain at times...If I’d noticed you,” Mettaton smiled sweetly, “I’d have been more careful.”

The air was tense as the crowd realized a miniature showdown was happening right in front of them between two giants of the industry.

Not missing a beat, Ren hummed a pleasant note, “I understand,” he was full gentleman mode now. “I do it too, not magic of course, but knocking things down and bumping into them unexpectedly.”

Mettaton narrowed his eyes. _What is this guy getting at?_

Ren picked up the ashtray with a flick of his foot then continued his previous pace.

He looked over his shoulder as he made his way, “Just make sure you pick up the trash…” And just like that he was gone without a second glance.

If Mettaton was a little less mature, he may have fumed at the loss. The crowds were swooning at how cool Ren was, but Mettaton did not lose his lazy, predatory smile. Instead, it may have grown a bit.

 _How interesting_.

The blonde, bespectacled man that was Ren’s manager gave the celebrity a knowing look, “That’s the first guy in the business to be so bold about trying to pick a fight with you, Ren.” He was a serious guy, and he was serious when he said, “I’m surprised you let him off so lightly, he practically used magic to threaten you, though it was small.”

Ren kept his gaze forward, watching the path ahead. “Of course, I’m ‘gentle’ after all.” He continued with that same tone of being above such things, “And, I’m too old now to actually get in a fight.”

His manager raised an eyebrow and responded, “A truly ‘gentle’ person wouldn’t get in a fight no matter how old he was...Ren, before you joined showbiz, you were a hopelessly tough guy, right?”

“Rude...I’ve always been a good guy.”

Once it was apparent Ren would provide no more information on the subject, his manager let it go.

“Hmm, well, I won’t ask any more questions…”

Ren let the conversation drift into a comfortable silence. He couldn’t help it when his mind lingered on the ostentatious robot he just met. _So that’s Mettaton...the one that guy wants revenge on._

His expression hardened.

\---

At LME, BP was finally called in. Everything was ready. He was armed with a small red heart-shaped notebook, and a box full of stamps. They ranged from indicating negative points to 100%.

The president explained that some people will have their own stamps, but he should carry his set because the majority of people in the company wouldn’t have any.

Sawara-san led him to the LoveMe Section’s room, where he could change into the custom-made uniform.

“...Sawara-san…”

The supervisor had on his best poker face when he answered, “Yes?”

“You can’t be serious with this thing…” 

“What are you talking about?” his voice was monotone, “It’s a wonderful uniform. The neon pink jumpsuit is easily discernable from any distance, and the LoveMe logo on the left chest and back advertise LME proudly…”

People were already whispering about BP as they passed.

“You...don’t believe that at all…” BP didn’t think he’d feel more embarrassed than the day his pants fell in front of Bratty and Catty, weighed down by Glamburgers, but standing in public in a pink jumpsuit was coming very close.

“Don’t say that. The president designed them himself. He cares about the LoveMe Section.”

“Whyyyyyyyy…”

“He...likes to enjoy things to the fullest,” Sawara-san looked resigned to his president’s ways. But BP felt like he was just being used for entertainment by someone significantly stronger than him who he had no hope of fighting.

 _Well, at least I’ll attract attention in this getup_ he popped the collar and pulled out his handy pack of cigarettes as he tried to spin this turn of events in a positive light. The uniform came with a utility belt where he could store his stamps.

 _I feel kind of like a superhero in this thing_ , he tried a superhero stance, just to do it, and two girls stopped long enough to stare and giggle before continuing on their way. He deflated, _A pathetic, C-list superhero…_

Sawara-san clapped him on the shoulder reassuringly. 

“Maybe after you start doing jobs, people will become more accepting? The LoveMe Section does already have a request by the way.”

“Really?” _Someone asked for him already?_

“Yes, the president has been advertising it heavily around here, everyone is already talking about ‘that monster that’s got the president all riled up’.”

BP felt that familiar anxiety shoot through him. He wasn’t prepared for this yet! The thought of people he didn’t know talking about him left a nauseous feeling in him.

“Don’t worry, BP-san,” the man reassured sensing his panic, “the president is often enthusiastic about things, the talk will die down soon. Plus, this is good practice if you do get famous some day.”

BP nodded, he was right. If he wanted to be more famous than Mettaton, then he’d have to get used to the idea of people talking about him and just being in the public eye in general. When he recklessly declared his revenge on Mettaton, he hadn’t really thought about the consequences, but the gravity of what he wanted was beginning to dawn on him.

This meant dedicating his entire life, private and public, towards a single goal. Nothing he did could be fore himself anymore. He would never have a week of peace like the one before he donned this outfit ever again. That thought alone was sobering. The road to his goal was going to be hard, and he would have to do things that are embarrassing and far, far outside of his comfort zone.

Was he willing to go through all this for his revenge? To give up the very idea of peace? To subject himself to whatever work random people wanted of him?

“Alright, Sawara-san, who’s the first customer for the LoveMe Section?”

He was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another little tidbit of my thought process. When humans refer to "determination" it's always lowercase cuz it is definitely not the same way monsters think of it, and when monsters refer to it it will always be capitalized (or should cuz there's no one proofreading this except me please tell me if anyone sees anything off). Also that "friend" that sans sees...yeah...that's a part of this other thing I've got in the works...its a sansxreader...don't judge...


	9. Knight's Honor Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's BP's first assignment in the LoveMe Section! Let's see how it goes...

“Matsunai Ruriko, idol and singer, has asked for the LoveMe Section’s help,” BP remembered the manager’s words as he watched the starlet’s delicate features or what he could see of them hidden as she was behind a giant scarf and floppy hat. 

“You’ll be going with her on location for the movie she’s starring in,” Sawara-san had looked like he wanted to say more, but didn’t. BP at the time hadn’t thought much of it, but looking at her now, he realized something’s gotta be up.

BP had heard of Ruriko before. Ruriko-chan, as she was most commonly referred to, was known as the last Japanese idol LME brought to the world. _Most likely something the president came up with so that she’d stand out,_ BP thought. _It makes her sound like an endangered species._

BP spared the idol another glance. Every inch of her skin was covered. Even the car they were riding to the film site had curtains on the windows.

_Is she allergic to UV rays? She dresses like that one famous guy...What was his name?_ He chewed his lip, it was on the tip of his tongue. _Started with an M…_

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Ruriko-chan’s voice. It was VERY high-pitched. 

“I don’t want to appear in a movie,” she whined as they drove to the set. 

_What the hell?_ BP exclaimed to himself. _I would kill to be in a movie...Well...not literally...maybe…_

She continued in the same tone as before, unknowing of BP’s silent condemnation.

“There are outdoor scenes…” she placed a hand to her head with a feather-light touch looking very distressed. “If I’m under the sun for long periods of time...it will...ruin my life.”

BP looked at her with a questioning raise of the eyebrow, then he turned his attention to her manager who looked...tired?

“Ruriko-chan,” BP began, “are you really allergic to UV rays?” Something smelled fishy, and Undyne was nowhere near Japan at the moment.

She just closed her eyes and became very quiet. 

_Asleep? Or ignoring the question?_

BP turned his attention to her manager. She had seemed trustworthy when he first met her, but right now she looked more than a little put out. He doubted that LME was the kind of agency that would make Ruriko-chan do a film shoot if her life was in real danger from the sunlight, so what’s going on? 

_Should I call them out on it?_

In the end, BP decided against it. He was here on a job afterall. _I need to make these people like me, and calling them out on their bullshit might not be the best way…_

“So, what does Ruriko-chan want me to do exactly?” _I’ll play along, if it’ll get me closer to debuting as an actor_.

“Well, Ruriko-chan feels...ill...when she’s in direct light. So, BP-san, she would like it if you could protect her from the sun’s rays.”

_Protect her from the sun...Well it could be worse, plus it might be nice to play the knight protecting his damsel for once_. He could use this as an opportunity to practice his acting. BP’s life had been fraught with elements that he felt powerless to control, so being a knight confident in his abilities and with a virtuous goal in mind, even if it was all just pretend, would be a nice change of pace.

He could transform himself, if only for a moment. He could be confident and genteel.

“Whatever milady wishes,” he put a hand over where his soul resided in his chest. The words were utter corn, but the way he said it, casting a tone of devotion and reverence as he imagined an enamored knight would, gave them a sincerity that made Ruriko-chan blush in her fake-sleep.

They were driving along the side of the mountainous road for a while, almost to their destination, when the van they were riding in gave a lurching jerk, sputtered, and came to a stop.

“What happened?” Ruriko-chan’s manager questioned the driver.

“Sorry, it looks like the car stalled,” he looked a bit nervous.

“Whaaaaat?!” Ruriko-chan yelled right next to BP’s ear.

_So, she was definitely not sleeping,_ BP tried to angle his ears away from the starlet’s tantrum. She continued to fuss and whine.

“Sorry,” the driver said again, “I don’t know if I can fix it, could you walk from here, maybe get someone to come help me?”

“Of course, the set isn’t too far from here. Maybe someone could give you a tow,” Ruriko-chan’s manager was ignoring her charge’s cries of protest and addressed BP. “Could you take care of Ruri for me?” 

“Of course,” BP let a light of purpose and devotion bleed into his gaze. “Anything for Oujo-sama.” Ruriko-chan quieted at his words. He couldn’t see her face, covered as it was, but she was blushing. 

BP didn’t know what to make of her sudden quiet, but he hoped that she wasn’t offended by his use of the term. Maybe it was a bit too cheesy, but it felt appropriate for the mood he was going for. He continued his charade of the chivalrous knight, opening the door for the still upset idol. 

Her manager gave him a giant beach umbrella that looked to be custom made for Ruriko-chan to help her stay out of the sun. It had a dark fabric along the inside of the parasol.

“We will catch up with you as soon as we can, I’ll pack what’s necessary and follow right away.”

_Strange that she wouldn’t want to come with Ruriko-chan…_ BP observed. He also felt that the car driver’s excuse was a bit flimsy. They could just call. They all had cellphone’s anyway. But Ruriko-chan didn’t seem to notice anything suspicious. She was still complaining about walking. Her manager tried to convince her to go. They were really supposed to start filming yesterday, and everyone was waiting.

Then, letting out a tired sigh, in a last ditch effort she said, “Tsuruga-san is waiting for you.” She poured every bit of tantalizing sweetness into her words as possible.

Ruriko-chan was quiet.

BP was incredulous. His brain was blank. Did he hear what he thought he just heard? Could there be another person with that name in the industry? Likely not, but his mind wouldn’t let him consider the possibility of THAT GUY being there.

“Well, he should really be coming to pick me up,” Ruriko-chan huffed. She said it with her nose in the air, but she started walking anyway BP trailing steps behind. He held the umbrella over her head and tried to walk with the dignified grace of a knight, but the act was getting tiring. Knowing that every step brought him closer to Ren made the whole ordeal a lot more difficult in his mind.

_If I had known Ren was going to be in this movie, I wouldn’t have taken this assignment!_ Well he probably would have, beggars can’t be choosers as they say, but he would have at least have liked to have been prepared before seeing the celebrity. Plus, he was wearing the outrageous pink jumpsuit...BP could just imagine the scorn he’d get from the human. 

_I’ve been focusing too much on classics,_ he decided, _I need to keep up-to-date with things going on in the industry right now_. Honestly, he had been avoiding doing just that. The all too real threat of seeing Mettaton on T.V. was one he wasn’t sure he could deal with yet. But it was becoming obvious that his ignorance could get him into trouble.

“I’m TIRED!” Ruriko-chan whined and plopped down onto the asphalt.

_How? We haven’t even walked for five minutes yet!_ BP didn’t let his irritation show on his face, however, he was a devoted knight after all. He couldn’t allow his princess to feel ashamed of her lack of athletic ability. _If I ever had a princess, I’d like them to have a bit more endurance than this girl._

He looked at her, and she assembled the best miserable expression she could. 

_How would a knight act in this situation?_ Personally, he’d have just left her there to wait with the parasol without a second thought. But right now, he wasn’t BP the jaded-betrayed-cashier/bartender. Right now, he was a devoted knight, and his princess was looking at him with a pitiful expression. _How would a knight act?_

As it turns out, she’s a lot heavier than she looks. 

BP had tried very hard to carry her bridal style, as that would cut a more dashing figure, but sadly he wasn’t strong enough. He ended up toting her on his back with her arms around his neck. Each step was a strain, and to add onto it, he had to carry the giant parasol in one hand as well. The figure he cut was NOT a dashing one.

She was pleased as punch, however, glad to be both out of the sun and free of physical labor. The sun bored down on the top of the umbrella, trying it’s best to berate them with its rays. The heat underneath it, though, was doing a better job at wearing BP out. 

Cats only sweat through their paws, and generally don’t allow themselves to get that overheated in the first place. But BP was a monster, and all monsters sweated. He even remembered seeing Sans sweat before. He felt the salty liquid slick on his paws and face, and even on his back where Ruriko-chan’s body pressed against his.

But he couldn’t stop. 

He was Determined.

Each step was heavier than the last, until he reached a point where his whole body felt numb to the pain. It was kind of like after he failed the audition. He focused only on what he was doing right now. One foot in front of the other. Tighten his grip on Ruri when she felt like she was sliding off. Rearrange the parasol so it covered her more completely. Find the trail off the road that leads to the set. Watch his feet on the changing terrain. 

Careful. Don’t want her to fall. 

Careful. He’s carrying something precious. 

Careful. Don’t let her fall.

The heat was doing something strange to his mind. He began to feel like he really was a knight who was desperately trying to help his princess, to keep her happy, to never let her feet touch the ground. It made the walking easier, but it also made him say some strange things.

“Are you comfortable, Ojou-sama?” Rearrange her again.

“I’m sorry about the sweat, Ojou-sama.” Tighten his grip before she slips.

“I won’t let you exhaust yourself, Ojou-sama.” Renew his Determination.

She never responded to his talking, but that didn’t dissuade him from voicing his reassurances. If his princess didn’t want to talk, she didn’t have to.

For a brief second in his mind altered state, BP felt happy. It was indescribably blissful. He had one goal, make his princess happy, and he was doing that. It felt like when he first started to work for Mettaton. He did everything the monster wanted, just because he wanted to make the other happy. 

It felt good to make people happy.

Unfortunately, it was in this moment that BP did NOT pay attention to where he was going. He slipped on a rock his foot turning awkwardly. The added weight of the girl and the umbrella prohibited him from stopping his fall, his princess went flying into the grass, and he laid on the ground his ankle throbbing painfully.

Ruriko-chan huffed at his inability to carry her. And tried to bully him into getting up again, but his ankle wasn’t allowing it. She looked into the distance. She realized that the set was close by.

“I’ll walk the rest of the way myself,” she took the umbrella and turned to leave.

“No! I, I can do it!” BP struggled once more, to try and get up. Pain that felt like it came from deep in him stabbed its way throughout his body. He went limp, panting. He wanted to put pressure on it, something to stop it. But trying to move it in the slightest hurt too much. 

_Why do I have to fail at EVERYTHING?_ He clenched his fist and pressed his face into the cool grass below him squeezing his eyes shut. 

Ruriko looked at him with what could have been pity or annoyance. “You stay there. I’ll go get help.” 

“Ojou-sama…” his voice was a plea.

She turned to him, nose in the air once more.

“I’m sorry.” He was defeated.

“You should be,” and she left.

\---

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Ruriko-chan bowed to the director once she arrived. She was polite and smiling. “I’m looking forward to working together.”

The director was Shingai Seiji. “Oh, right.” He was a young director, but known as a genius in the industry. He had made a name for himself with complex movies and attention to detail. But he didn’t pay anymore attention to the starlet than necessary.

A make-up artist led Ruriko away to get into her costume, before she could speak more with the director. He watched her leave with narrowed eyes.

“She seems nicer than we expected, right director?” a stagehand observed.

He didn’t respond just watched as the make-up artist started chatting up Ruriko-chan. Then, he went back to business.

“Ruriko-chan, you arrived on foot, alone, and holding a strange parasol. Where’s your manager? What happened? Did you walk all the way here?” 

“Yes, I had to walk quite a ways. The car stalled down the road and I couldn’t let everyone wait anymore just because of my own private affairs,” she pressed a hand to her chest lightly. “I even had to carry my custom made umbrella the whole way.”

“Yeah, what is with that, anyway?” It was strange to say the least.

“Well, I’m popular because of my fair complexion, right? If I get even a little sunburned, my career will be over! So, in order to protect my career, sacrifices must be made,” she thought about BP lying exhausted on the ground.

“I’m impressed,” the make-up artist admitted, “You really have to work hard to become a top-selling idol!”

Ruriko smiled. _Yes, so staying at the agency when you have no talent, and trying to debut by currying favor and having people take pity on you, and acting all gentlemanly and cool...Wait!_ she became annoyed at the direction of her thoughts. _Whatever! I hate miserable people like that monster! He can rot on that trail for all I care!_

\---

_I wonder if Ruriko-chan made it to the set yet_. BP had snapped out of his mild delirium of being a knight once the idol disappeared into the line of trees ahead of him. His head throbbed in time with his ankle. The cat monster was no longer sweating, paws or elsewhere, and he figured that that was a bad sign. He wanted to try to make it to the shade, but his body was exhausted from carrying the idol for so long, plus each movement sent new shooting pain through him.

_Maybe, if I can muster enough magic to heal my ankle, I’ll be able to make it._ He tried to tap into that part of his soul that he used for healing in the past. 

But nothing came.

_What?! I can’t feel my old magic at all!_ He felt panic inside him again sharp and stabbing at his gut.

Did he give it up? The ability to heal? Did he trade it away for power?

He hadn’t felt that other darker magic all day, probably because he hadn’t been thinking of revenge. He was thinking of acting, of playing a role, of making someone like him. 

_But you can’t force someone to like you, can you?_

He thought of the years he spent catering to Mettaton’s every whim, and the monster had still thrown him away. In that moment, he wasn’t bitter, just accepting. He didn’t have the energy to hate right now. It took so much to hate all the time.

_This whole thing was a useless joke from the beginning, right?_

Maybe he would have cried, if he had any water in him. Maybe he would have laughed, if he had the energy.

_I’ve been alone and hurting for a long time...why should now be any different?_

He laid there, letting the sun fry him some more. Just for a moment, he let himself think that no one would find him. As irrational as it seemed, he just didn’t have it in him to hope. 

A breeze rustled the nearby trees. The sound was crisp and the cool air felt wonderful on his body.

“LoveMe guy,” a voice called out on the wind.

_Oh no…_

BP looked up to confirm his fears. There, dark hair blowing in the wind an unreadable expression on his face, was Tsuruga Ren.

“Found you.”

BP just stared up at him not thinking anything.

“Are you rolling around because you’re taking a break? Or because you collapsed?”

Anger pulled BP out of his apathy. Only this guy could manage to insult him and ask if he’s okay at the same time…

_Wait…_

“Did Ruriko-chan tell you what happened?” He was hopeful, maybe she did worry about him, maybe she liked him enough to send her favorite person to help him. Maybe...

“Ruri?” He looked surprised, “She finally arrived?”

He felt his hope turn into a sickly but familiar disappointment. 

_Well, that’s what I get for hoping._ He let himself fall back into the grass, and plucked the blades idly. He wasn’t blind. She didn’t have to say she hated him for BP to sense her hostility, but his knight self was determined to wait on her anyway. He thought that maybe he could change her mind. Obviously not.

Ren looked down at the monster’s still figure. There was no urgency in his posture. It looked like he had given up on something. Ren ignored for the moment the pink jumpsuit. He’d comment on that later. He saw that BP’s ankle was swollen. The tall man crouched down to examine it closer, flipping him over and taking off BP’s shoe in a fluid motion.

It was too fast for BP to stop the human, but he could still let out a loud, “MICHAEL JACKSON!!” 

Oh yeah... _that_ was the name of the person Ruri reminded him of...

BP saw spots in his vision and realized that it was his consciousness trying to leave him. The pain in his ankle was too much. He was past the point of fighting the pain, though. He let it wash over him in waves.

“It’s broken,” Ren said aloud. His expression went from blank to purposeful, and he scooped up the monster into his arms easily. Bridal style. Like he had attempted earlier.

_This is just not fair…_

But BP couldn’t fight it right now, he was too busy struggling to stay conscious in the arms of the guy he hated second most in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such a fun chapter! I really can't wait for more BP and Ren! The manga is SUCH a slow burn tho. I may be speeding things up ^-^ just for the heck of it.


	10. Knight's Honor Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren carries BP into the set, is annoying, then not, then back to annoying again. Ruriko-chan confesses how she REALLY feels about BP. There's also a plot abrewing. What's really going on around here?

BP felt two types of shame in that moment.

One, he was being carried like a princess by a guy he absolutely did not like.

Two, he thought he had been doing a pretty good job at acting like a knight before, but he was completely wrong.

BP realized while looking at Ren’s confident and calm expression as he took long strides towards the set, that his interpretation of a knight was a flimsy facsimile of what chivalry truly was.

A knight was silent and cool. A knight let his princess know he cared, not with words, but with his actions. 

It was in the way his strong arms held a body tight.

It was in the fierceness of his expression.

It was in the confidence of his stride.

BP had none of the same subtlety that Tsuruga Ren had, and that irked him to no end. His frustration felt like it was made worse by the pounding in his head and ankle. 

“Could you at least put me down before anyone else sees me like this?” BP managed to croak out through the spinning fog in his head and dryness of his throat. 

What looked like a brief flash of sympathy passed over Ren’s face, only to be replaced by blank innocence. _Damn this human’s talent._ “But...I couldn’t possibly let a person with a broken ankle walk by themselves.” He gave that same smile that was so sincere yet belied a hidden cruelty, “That wouldn’t be very gentleman-like.”

 _He’s doing this to me, NOW? When I’m INJURED?_. BP looked at him with disbelief for a moment, but the human’s expression was unchanged. 

_He hates me...he really hates me_.

BP wanted to yell at him, to beat him, to force him to put him down, but honestly he didn’t have the Determination nor the energy. It didn’t really matter, he was going to be ridiculed for the jumpsuit anyway, why not completely emasculate him right at the get go? 

When BP didn’t rise to Ren’s bait, he realized something had to be wrong. He looked down at the complete emptiness of the monster’s expression. It was something Ren was familiar with. He sighed and put him down on the monster’s good foot, then motioned for BP to hop on his back. 

Piggyback ride it was.

That’s how they walked onto the set, and BP was very thankful that Ren had changed his mind because people were already talking. The cat monster could only imagine what they would have said if Ren were still carrying him bridal style. 

That’s when BP realized something. He would have to be careful of being in public with this guy. People watched Ren, he had a reputation to uphold. What if Japan realized that he spent his time with a loser like him? Even if it was mere moments?

“Why are you being so nice to me?” He really couldn’t wrap his head around it. 

“I'm not so cruel as to harass an injured person, not completely anyway.” 

BP was just beginning to think that, maybe he had Ren pegged all wrong. Maybe, he just caught him on a bad day when they first met. Maybe he was just teasing before. He wasn’t so bad. 

“Plus, you're doing a good job of embarrassing yourself already in that get up,” he set the monster down on the porch of the traditional style Japanese mansion that was serving as the setting for the film.

BP felt a twitch. _Don’t let it get to you._ He took a deep breath trying to steady his emotions, but Ren just kept going.

“Wouldn’t want that neon nightmare to ruin my reputation more than it has already,” He said this with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. 

_I take it ALL back! He hates me! He's the worst! He is not a knight! What’s the opposite of a knight?_

BP felt his fur begin to bristle. It was one thing to acknowledge a fact to yourself, it was another to have that fact thrown in your face. That dark magic gave him just a bit more energy, and he could ignore the pain for a moment. But before BP could berate the human for his treatment, Ren had already left to talk to a blonde man. He looked serious and annoyed. _Wasn’t he just reveling in my misfortune? Why does he look like that now?_

There was no answer that BP could come up with before the bespectacled man came over to provide him some first aid. Ren did not come with him.

He wrapped the ankle lightly and moved to keep it elevated. A stagehand offered him a drink which BP took gladly. He could already feel more of his sanity returning. 

“It’s not completely broken, just a fracture, but we should really go to the hospital. I’ve done what I can for now,” his movements were practised and sure. _Had he done something like this before?_ BP wondered idly.

“Thanks...uh…”

“Yashiro.”

“Then, thanks, Yashiro-san.”

He looked a bit surprised. “I wasn’t expecting such politeness. You were looking at Ren like you were about to kill him.”

 _I need a cigarette._ He pulled one out and lit it up before he answered.

“I don’t know what it is, what I did, but that guy has it out for me.”

Yashiro-san’s eyebrows knitted together in a confused bundle. “That’s weird. He’s _supposed_ to be friendly with everyone…”

“Yeah, I’d heard that too. I guess everyone has that one person that just rubs them the wrong way,” BP shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing I’m not used to, though.”

 _No one should be used to being treated badly,_ Yashiro-san thought. 

“I don’t know everything there is to know about Ren, but I can say this. When it’s work related, that guy gets mercilessly strict. With others,” Yashiro-san’s eyes gentled, “and himself.”

BP was thoughtful, _I suppose that makes sense. It would explain why he was so ready to throw me out of LME, why he tried to convince me Determination was not enough, and even why he insulted me. He doesn’t think I’m serious enough...but I’ll show him._

“Now,” Yashiro-san snapped BP out of his revere, “Time to go to the hospital.”

BP just waved the thought away, “Don’t worry about it, Yashiro-san. I’ll just grab some monster food back home and I’ll be right as rain.” _Plus, I don’t think I can afford regular treatment right now._ But he didn’t tell that depressing fact to Ren’s manager.

\---

Meanwhile, a distraught princess was trying very hard to get the attention of a certain tall and dark-haired knight. 

Ruri was dressed in a traditional kimono with a long black-haired wig for her role. She truly looked like an Ojou-sama now, but she wasn’t acting very much like one. She was pacing around and beginning to look annoyed. She was waiting for Ren to talk to her himself, but when he ignored her completely she decided to go up to him.

She delicately pulled on his shirt.

Ren smiled his gentleman’s smile.

“Oh you’re here...I was tired of waiting for you. We’re trying to shoot a movie, you know?”

Ruri was speechless. The criticism was not what she was expecting at all. She flustered for a moment under his innocent smile deciding if she should be sad or angry. She settled on angry and stormed off.

“She didn’t like your response,” the director said with calm indifference. “You should’ve let her hear what she wanted.” He wasn’t really admonishing the actor, just stating facts.

“Then, there would be no point including her on the film.”

“You’re right,” Seiji sighed, “this is all that president’s scheme, anyway.”

“Yes, we’ll blame him if this movie never finishes shooting.”

The director just nodded his head.

\---

 _When I arrived, he didn’t even come greet me! He was with that stupid monster!_ She threw off her wig. _Now, he has the audacity to insult me? I have about the same number of fans as Ren! I’m a star LME is proud of! There’s no reason I should be treated this way!_

BP was leaning on his makeshift crutch, when he noticed the stormcloud that was Ruriko-chan coming his way.

_She looks pissed!_

“Ruriko-chan! What’s wrong?” Knight-mode engage.

BP didn’t think it was possible until it happened, but she got even angrier. The cat monster felt like lightning could leap from her at any moment. It seemed something in her had snapped, and words that she had been keeping in spilled out.

“I’ve hated the LoveMe Section since it was set up.”

BP kept his expression blank.

“I just can’t stand the reason why it exists,” she continued despite his lack of reaction. “You think you can make your debut if you do work to make people love you?! Give me a break! Only talented people can shine in showbiz!”

His expression twitched a bit, reminded of a certain someone, but he kept himself in check.

“You think if you clean, or become a personal assistant, you can be in the spotlight? If you have time to curry favor with people, just polish a skill instead!”

“You think I’m not?”

“What?” she seemed surprised that he spoke at all.

“Do you think I’m not doing everything I can to become a great actor? Do you think I don’t study?”

“I don’t believe it! All you care about is points, so that you can debut. Well, I won’t give you any. I asked for your help because I wanted to destroy you.”

She got this incredibly smug look on her face and a slight color rose to her cheeks.

“I know, why don’t you be my personal assistant for life? I’ll make you give up trying to join showbiz!”

 _Personal assistant for life?_ BP tried desperately to regain control. If his magic went haywire here, he might never be able to debut. _Been there, done that_.

He needed a distraction. Knight-mode re-engage.

“Ojou-sama, what are you doing here?” he sounded like she hadn’t said anything like he was just seeing her. “What about the shoot?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think it’s started. They can’t do anything unless I’m there, so everyone must be looking for me.” She seemed extremely pleased with herself.

“Yashiro-san.”

The bespectacled man looked at BP with curiosity.

He didn’t know how, but for some reason he was now carrying Ruriko-chan with a hobbling BP along for the ride.

They burst into the room where everyone...was NOT looking for Ruriko-chan. In fact they all seemed perfectly unconcerned with her disappearance.

“Oh, thanks for bringing her back,” the director said with no real urgency. “We really didn’t know what to do without her.”

BP narrowed his eyes. _There’s that smell of fish again. What is going on here? Usually this is when they cater to the star’s whims so the filming can continue...right?_

Ren looked at him and started silently mouthing words.

BP was never any good at reading lips.

“Who didn’t hold spit?”

“You didn’t go to the hospital,” he looked supremely annoyed, “Is what I was _trying_ to say.”

BP dismissed him like he did Yashiro-san.

“No, I’ve still got a job to do here, and all I really need is to get some monster food in me and I’ll be okay.”

Suddenly, BP was pitching forward, past the point of no return. Behind him, a frustrated Ruriko-chan had her arms extended. 

_She PUSHED me?!_

The director and Ren both had their arms extended uselessly, but even they had given up hope of catching him in time. 

He landed on the ground and the shockwaves went through his body traveling painfully through his ankle and creating those familiar spots in his eyes. He gasped and held in a scream, his body shaking with the effort.

“You’re not that hurt! You’re just pretending to be because you want attention!”

“Ruri,” it was the director who spoke after everyone came out of their stunned silence, “Apologize.”

Ruri looked around, surprised that no one was on her side, surprised that no one felt the same disgust at this person that she did. She huffed and upturned her nose.

“I’m sorry,” the director said in her place to BP who was lying limp on the ground.

“It’s okay,” BP didn’t feel any malice or hatred or even resentment towards Ruriko-chan. He simply felt resigned.

_Is it really that hard to get someone to like me?_

He straightened up accepting the director’s arm. It was really strong. 

_Maybe...I need to try something that I haven’t before_. 

BP directed his attention to the still seething starlet, “Can I talk to you alone for a moment?”

Everyone looked nervous. 

The director spoke again, “Are you sure that’s wise…” _This person literally just pushed you to the ground,_ he thought.

“I don’t care!” Ruriko-chan shouted. She was still agitated, but did honestly look like she wanted to leave the judging glances of everyone around her. So, when BP left gesturing for her to follow, she did.

They walked away, one with a limp and reclaimed makeshift crutch that was just a large stick and the other in a prideful huff.

BP sat on the edge of the porch and motioned for Ruri to sit next to him. She did, but she did it with as much indignation as she could muster.

“I wanted to say,” BP began the look on his face not angry or resigned but ruminative, “thank you.”

“WHAAAAT?!”

Maybe it was time to try honesty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun, Fun, Fun till her daddy take the T-bird away...
> 
> Don't ask, the song is just in my mind...and only this line??? I don't know??? Maybe it's because I had fun writing this chapter...
> 
> Yeah that should be it.


	11. Knight's Honor Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out why BP thanked Ruri. Oh...and there's also an acting face off between BP and Ren.

BP smiled and gave a raspy chuckle at her reaction to his thanks. He rubbed his face with his paw, feeling the rough calluses on his pads from all those years of work. He balled it up into a fist as if he could squeeze it hard enough to erase all evidence of that time.

But he couldn’t.

Ruriko-chan was quiet now and watched him curiously.

“I already knew you didn’t like me,” he began in explanation. “But I thought, perhaps foolishly, that I could change your mind. Maybe if I was the perfect knight, you could see me as something...I don’t know...as a person who cares. You gave me a reason to try and care, so thanks.” 

She blushed.

He lit another cigarette. BP seemed to be going through his packs a lot faster these days. 

“I also know you’re not allergic to UV rays,” he said with a smile around the cigarette in his mouth like he had just confided in her an especially funny secret.

She sputtered an excuse, but he waved it away. “Don’t worry, you have your reasons,” he paused. “Just like I have mine for being in the LoveMe section.”

She was quiet, but still petulant.

He took it as an invitation to explain himself.

“I don’t have enough money for acting school, and it’s not for lack of work on my part,” he held up his paws scarred and callused for her to see, “These paws are not those of a monster who has things handed to them on a silver platter. You think I dress like this because I like it? This is my one shot, my only chance to fulfill my dream.”

He smiled again, but it didn’t seem happy or sad, just dreamy.

“If I was in your position, I’d cling to this part like a tree to the edge of a cliff. I’d plant myself so deep, no wind could move me,” he regained a little Determination from those words, but it was replaced with confusion. “So, I really don’t understand why you’re so willing to squander this opportunity. Why? Why give everyone such a hard time? Why act like you don’t want to be here at all?”

Ruri was stunned. _When DID I stop caring?_ She remembered the early times of her singing career when she’d do shows when she was sick because she didn’t want to disappoint her fans, because she wanted her voice to be heard. Now, if she had broken her ankle, she would definitely not be here still trying to do work. She’d probably quit on the spot. 

“I-I don’t know,” was her only answer.

He waited a little longer for more, but when no more information was forthcoming he stood up and offered a hand to her.

She blushed lightly and let BP pull her up.

“Show me, Ruri,” she looked shocked. _What is this monster talking about?!_

“Show me that you’re the star you claim to be.” _Oh…_ Why was she a little disappointed? But the way he said that made her breathless anyway.

She shook away those thoughts and a new expression bled into her face.

Ruriko-chan was filled with Determination.

\---

BP was concerned.

It wasn’t because of Ruriko-chan. She had started to take her role seriously, and didn’t make a fuss when Seji made her redo scenes. She had even given him a 100% stamp for helping her regain some pride in her work, and when her manager finally arrived she apologized profusely for the fractured ankle.

No.

The problem was Tsuruga Ren.

BP was taking this wonderful opportunity to learn some behind-the-scenes things from stagehands, and taking every moment he could to watch the acting. It would be invaluable for him later. In every scene, Ren dominated. The co-stars and extras merely reacted to his acting that was alive and shocking. He was spot on every time, and it left a sick feeling in the cat monster’s stomach.

 _If it was me across from him,_ BP thought, _would I be able to act on my own? Or would I just be following his lead?_

He had to know.

For his pride as a soon-to-be actor, he HAD to know.

They were taking a break, now. 

He had gotten a copy of the script and looked it over. Now, BP felt ready to confront him. Yashiro-san was at his side, like always. He actually noticed the monster first, Ren looking lost in thought.

“Hey, mind running through your lines with me? I would appreciate some practice,” _That’s right, calm, treat him like he doesn’t insult you every chance he gets._

Ren looked like he was about to say no, but was cut off by Yashiro-san.

“Ren...BP _did_ help to make Ruriko-chan easier to work with. It’s the least you can do.”

 _Thank you, Yashiro!_ BP usually waited until the other party dropped honorifics first, just to be safe. He looked back to Ren hopefully.

It didn’t look promising.

“I want to work, even if it’s just practice, with someone who actually takes the craft seriously...not this guy who-” BP cut him off.

“I do take this seriously! I do! And I’m tired of people telling me that I don’t, telling me that I can’t.”

He threw down his stick/crutch to emphasize how earnest he was.

 _FUUUUUUCKKKK, this hurts, this hurts, this hurts, this hurts_ But he couldn’t show that on his face. He NEEDED Ren to see this. 

“Practice with me, and I’ll show you how far Determination can go!”

Yashiro looked a little confused at the turn of events. But Ren’s expression was unreadable.

“Alright, let’s see what you got.”

BP fell into character. He was playing, Akio, the older brother of Ruri, a sheltered daughter of a wealthy family, and Ren was a visiting noble of questionable birth. BP’s character wanted him to leave as soon as possible, because he could tell that Ren wanted to reveal the truth about their family secrets to Ruri. He thought his knight persona would be perfect for this role.

“Ikumi-chan,” that was the name of the noble daughter, “seems to like you.” His voice was pleasant, like it said to be in the script.

Ren glared at him, and the cat monster’s voice wavered in the end. BP had intended to lace his glance with a hidden threat, but it failed him.

 _No! He was supposed to be the confident and protective brother! Cool knight’s voices don’t waver!_ He tried to regain some of his fierceness, but Ren continued his glare and it faltered on his face. _Akio wouldn’t be scared...Wait…_ BP realized something, _Yes, he would! Aiko should be scared of this guy!_

Ren’s character could destroy Akio’s family’s reputation with mere words, it really didn’t make sense for Ikumi’s brother to confront him at all. 

_He played me! He really did!_

Ren continued his line with a devil-may-care attitude, just like his character would, “Yes, she does.” 

And he walked away.

Yashiro gave BP a pitying glance before leaving to follow Ren back to the scene.

That may have been what broke him.

BP sank to the floor, taking the pressure off of his poor ankle and fiddled with his walking stick. He may keep it forever as a keepsake of this horrible, horrible day.

_Has it really only been just a day? Will all of my jobs be this tiring?_

He sighed. 

_Revenge sure is a hard road to take._

He just needed to keep the end goal in mind. 

“Defeat Mettaton!” he whisper-shouted to no one in particular.

“Is that a new show or something?”

A slightly bemused face loomed over BP. It was Seiji.

“Oh, hello, director,” he moved to get up, but Seiji stopped him.

“It’s fine, don’t bother, just wanted to talk to you.”

BP raised an eyebrow. What did this guy want?

“You’re BP, right? The new LoveMe Section member?”

“The one and only,” he gestured meaningfully to his pink jumpsuit.

Seiji just smiled, “Sorry again for Ruri, I really appreciate you helping her become more motivated.”

BP just shrugged, “Just doing my job.”

Seiji looked relieved, “So the president _did_ tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Confusion, and that fishy smell again.

“What?” Seiji looked caught.

“What did the president tell me?”

He was nervous. BP knew something was up with all this!

“Umm...well…”

BP waited with grim calm.

The director sighed, “Okay, look. This whole thing, not the movie, but the ignoring Ruri thing was set up by the president to fix her bad attitude. But then you came in and fixed everything before the plot could truly unfold, so thanks. You saved us some trouble.”

BP figured it would be something like that. Lory Takarada seemed to be that kind of person.

“So the car breaking down was faked, and I had to carry a person for miles, fractured my ankle, and was pushed all because of your and the president’s scheming…”

“It was the president’s idea! Look, I wanted to know if you wanted to get a professional headshot. We have some spare costumes that would work for a good headshot, and some willing makeup artists to help you out, interested?”

It didn’t take long for BP to decide. He didn’t have the money for that right now, it was on his To-Do list though.

“I was only teasing,” he got up very slowly, “I can do that now, and get it out of the way.”

Seiji looked relieved, again, and it wasn’t misplaced this time, “Good, I’ll walk you there.” He was quiet a moment, then, “Actually, there was something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

BP looked back at him a moment, to signal he was listening.

“I saw your little practice session with Ren…”

BP glared ahead, little swirls of dark magic seeping into the air around him.

Seiji blanched, then continued on, he didn’t make it in this industry by becoming intimidated easily!

“I wanted to say you held up well against him,” he stated carefully.

The monster could only shake his head, but the dark retreated again. 

“He had me dancing like a puppet, and it was only a few lines! I couldn’t hold my own for a few lines!” He was still angry, but more amazed at what Ren was capable of. 

“Few people can. It’s crazy to see that it works on monsters too.”

BP only grunted in response. 

“I...also may have overheard...a little bit of your conversation with Ruri,” he grinned apologetically.

 _Professional eavesdropper?_

“What about it?” BP was hesitant. He didn’t say anything someone could use against him, did he? _What’s this guy’s motive anyway?_

“I’m gonna be real with you, BP, you have talent. I could see it even in that little scene with Ren. You have a broken-”

“Fractured.”

“Fractured ankle! And you stood up straight, and you stood up to Ren! That takes determination. I want to talk to the president about setting up a scholarship for you, so you can afford acting classes. I believe that you could be an actor to rival Ren someday!”

BP had to admit, the idea gave him butterflies. And the compliments made him blush. But something nagged at him, and the nagging grew until he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

“Do you really think people would accept that? Me getting a free ride?” BP was defeated, he really needed another smoke.

Seiji was quiet. “Well, I suppose not.”

“The whole point of the LoveMe section is to get people to love me, right? Getting special favors might be counterproductive. Hell, people already think that I’m getting special treatment, Ruri thought that. No, there’s gotta be a different way. Maybe my work as a LoveMe member can supplement some of the cost per month...then I can get by with what I make a Grillby’s...I don’t know.”

They reached the makeup room.

“Thanks for the offer though, director. And the free head-shots. Promise I won’t tell anyone about this little plot of yours.” BP winked and disappeared inside.

Seiji blushed. _It wasn’t supposed to be a bribe!_

He decided to wait to see the results of the photo-shoot, it wouldn’t be too long, plus his assistant manager had control of the setup for the next scene. He had a few moments of peace. 

Seiji didn’t know what it was about this monster, but he was…

 _Inspiring? Pitiful?_ He settled on intriguing, and left it at that.

When BP stepped out of the room, flushed from the adrenaline of the shoot, Seiji could feel his intake of breath and the skip of his heart.

BP looked handsome.

His fur, usually rough and ruffled, was slicked back and looked healthy and vibrant. The clothes was a suit casually unbuttoned at the top with no tie. 

It looked good on him.

It looked REALLY good on him.

“Director! Thank you so much for this! I can’t believe how great that felt. I haven’t been this dressed up in...well, ever…” His ears were doing crazy movements alternating from being flattened and perking up.

Seiji didn’t respond. And he didn’t respond when Ren walked up with his manager to discuss the next scene.  
Ren followed his gaze, and then followed suit with staring.

Yashiro was the only one to keep his composure.

“Wow, BP, you look good. It’s a total transformation.”

BP beamed as he thanked the serious human, his expression so confident, so relaxed, so different than usual.

Ren could only think one thing.

_Uh, oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapter's in one day?! What the heck?!  
> Prolly cuz I got another kudos. Each one feels like a victory!  
> It inspires me! You guys inspire me!
> 
> Also, I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> The events and dialogue of this chapter are completely different than the manga. I actually skipped around a bunch. I had to rework a lot of stuff for BP to work and also the movie they are working on has like no explanation as to the story at all, so I had to come up with some kind of scene off the top of my head. 
> 
> I enjoyed it though, I'm looking forward to more chapters like this!


	12. Good Food and New Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren wrestles with some emotions we don't know about yet, and the president cooks up another plan while Grillby actually cooks something. Kanae reappears, and BP? What are you doing?!

Ren loved animals. 

He loved being outside.

He loved the fresh air.

That was why he was outside in the sunshine and light breeze this morning before he stumbled upon the pathetic form of BP sprawled in the dirt. He had wanted to get away from the set and find some peace in nature.

But of course that wasn’t what happened.

Still, he wasn’t sure if it was his love of animals that caused his heart to do a little skip beat of its own as he watched the unusually excited monster. BP stood taller than usual with a confidence in his stance that just wasn’t there before. The monster was so animated and...alive. It was a completely different feeling from his usual almost uncaring aloofness.

 _I wonder if he’s finally put all that revenge stuff behind him?_ Ren asked himself. _Determination is well and good, but dedicating your life to pursuit of revenge would just bring you pain in the end. No one would win._

Seiji finally said something, “BP, you look… _really_ good.” His gaze looked the monster up and down slowly and with an uncouth purpose.

BP beamed seemingly unheeding of the lecherous way the compliment came across. The look on BP’s face sent Ren’s heart flipping again, but Ren could only shoot the young director a glare that he didn’t see.

 _Is the director interested in BP?_ Why did that thought cause a knot of anger to form in his gut?

“Thanks, Yashiro, director,” BP was pointedly ignoring Ren. “I think I’ll change now, though. It’s been a busy day. I’m ready to head back.” The tall man’s anger fizzled out, and the cold weight of regret settled in its place. Ren likely wouldn’t see him again for a long time, and things between them would be left like they were sour and tense. 

_I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised._ He really hadn’t been treating the monster well at all, had he? It’s no wonder he was being treated so coldly. But, he was Tsuruga Ren! He wouldn’t let himself be tripped up by a little crush. Not now, not ever.

He didn’t deserve to be happy anyway.

\---

Grillby used his magic to make the hamburger medium well like he knew BP liked it. He didn’t know how the monster could have gone the whole day with his ankle fractured like it was. It made his flame dim when he thought of how much pain BP was in. He hurried with the meal, pouring his concern and healing intent into the magic cooking it. 

This was all he could do to make BP feel better.

BP was waiting at the bar, sitting with slumped shoulders on one of the bar stools, while the flame monster cooked. 

He sighed.

BP wished he could have kept the costume. 

He held his head in the palm of his hand, elbow resting on the table with his eyes closed. He tried to remember the way it felt while wearing the suit. He could see himself taking on the whole world in it, like beating Mettaton would be as easy as walking into LME and getting asked to star in a film. 

But life didn’t work that way.

After taking a moment to bask in the glow of the director’s and Yashiro’s rave compliments, BP put back on the pink jumpsuit with heavy limbs, being very gentle with his ankle. Today had been a mixed bag of excitement, disappointment, embarrassment, pain, and maybe a little good sprinkled in here and there. He smiled at the embarrassed sputter that Ruri had given him the 100% stamp with. He took out his notebook to look at it again.

His first job as a LoveMe Section member was a success! 

BP allowed himself a certain amount of pride at that fact. 

He didn’t know if the good of today outweighed the bad, he felt the throbbing in his ankle again, but at least he’d get a nice headshot out of the deal. 

Which reminded him.

He pulled out the director’s card. It was made of good, heavy paper with embossed lettering that read simply “Shingai Seiji” with his number underneath it. He realized something with a feeling of dread that weighed down his empty stomach.

He needed a cell phone.

The director had asked for BP’s number before he left, so he could call him when the photos were done, but BP had to explain that he didn’t have a cell phone. And he couldn’t remember Grillby’s off the top of his head. The shock on the human’s face was more than a little embarrassing. 

_I can’t help how expensive phones are! Before, it just seemed like a needless luxury…_ No one would call him except for Mettaton anyway, and who wanted that? 

But a phone was going to be absolutely necessary in this industry, and he couldn’t keep putting Grillby’s number on every form LME gave him. 

The director seemed all too pleased to give BP his business card. He even wrote his personal number on the back with a smiley face, which the cat monster thought was kind of weird. He didn’t think too much of it though. Maybe it was a human thing, or a Japanese thing.

Grillby finally arrived with BP’s food, and it smelled amazing. His mouth watered at it.

It really hadn’t taken the monster long at all to cook the burger and fries, but the train of BP’s thoughts had made the time seem to lag by. Plus, he was extremely exhausted. There was this hollow feeling in him, one different than the normal ache in his soul. 

“Grillby, you don’t know how much I need this right now.”

Grillby just nodded. He could guess.

BP tore into the burger, and immediately he could feel the difference. With each bite the greasy juices and magic worked to fill him up. That hollow feeling became nothing but a faint memory. He could feel his ankle start to mend, and the subtle headache he didn’t know he had but was relieved to feel go dissipated into nothing. 

When it was done the throbbing in his ankle was gone, and not a speck of food was left on his plate. He sighed contentedly and put his head on the table with a light thump. All of a sudden the weight of everything that had happened today came crashing down on his eyelids, pulling them down. But there was something important he needed to do! He had to fight to keep himself awake. 

“Thank you, Grillbz,” he whispered through the sleepy fog. And he meant it. He knew the magic the flame monster had weaved into this meal was not the same as usual. It was far more potent, and must have been exhausting for him.

“It was nothing,” Grillby crackled.

But BP was already asleep. 

\---

The next day at LME.

“Really?! He managed to change Ruriko Matsunai’s ways?!” It was Sawara-san speaking. And he was used enough to the president’s antics to not seem more surprised than he was at what Lory Takarada was doing.

The president was dressed as a man of the desert in the type of clothes one would see on an Bedouin man traversing the Sahara, and maybe this outfit wouldn’t be all that surprising except for the fact that he was riding a camel inside the building while wearing it. He looked as comfortable as could be in between the animal’s two humps. 

“Yes,” the president confirmed to the supervisor, “Shingai called me directly yesterday to thank me for it. Oddly enough, the director also wanted BP’s schedule...but even I don’t know what’s in store for that monster next, so I couldn’t tell him much.”

The workers of LME were giving the president a wide berth, parting like the Red Sea, but at the same time doing their best to greet him like normal. In the end they all just looked very awkward trying to disguise the shock on their faces.

“I thought that with Ren as bait,” the president continued either ignoring or not noticing the stares he caused, “and Shingai, who doesn’t compromise, taking care of her, some of Ruri’s habits would be improved. But I never imagined that BP would be the one to actually do it.”

He was thoughtful a moment.

“Maybe I should ask him.”

Sawara-san wasn’t following, “Ask him what?”

“To reform someone else...You know, that one girl even I can’t handle.”

“Oh…” Sawara-san’s face was worried as he realized who the president was talking about. “But I haven’t seen her around the office recently.” _The last time was when she asked about BP-san._

The president nodded, “She has found a new place to visit…”

“Where?”

\---

“The training school affiliated with LME actor’s course…” BP sighed dreamily. He wasn’t wearing his usual pink jumpsuit because he wasn’t on an official LoveMe mission, instead he went with a dark jean and black undershirt beneath an unbuttoned flanel with the sleeves rolled up. It was the fanciest he could muster right now.

He was walking towards Sawara-san’s office, to see about payment options. BP had done his research on the classes before he even talked to Sawara-san the first time. Even though the man was technically the Talent section’s supervisor, he had become the unofficial go-to guy for the LoveMe section. 

_Maybe there’s a scholarship opportunity for monsters…_ He pulled out a cigarette. _People shouldn’t be mad at that right? Humans get scholarships all the time._ He flicked the lighter, and inhaled some of the comforting smoke. 

The tuition for the classes was exorbitant to say the least. It would take him about 2 years to save up enough money for just the first semester. It wasn’t impossible, but he just didn’t have the time. And every day he spent struggling, Mettaton got further and further away. 

“This sucks! I can’t believe it! They’re an enemy of the common man!” 

_My thoughts exactly,_ BP looked around to see who was screaming like a maniac. When he finally found her, the cigarette nearly fell out of his mouth. “Seriously?!”

The well-dressed woman looked up from the LME welcome book she had her nose pressed into. It was Kotonami Kanae. She looked equally shocked.

“You! What are YOU doing here?! You flunked the Newcomer’s Audition in the preliminaries!”

BP restrained his anger at the painful reminder of his failure.

“Well…” he exhaled with some smoke. _Should I tell her about the LoveMe section? The public will find out about it eventually...but she’s so goddamn annoying! I really would like to avoid ridicule today..._ “I’m a part of this new section that the president himself developed. He saw my talent and just couldn’t let me go…” _It’s not a lie...but it’s not the whole truth either._

She didn’t look like she was buying it. BP noticed the welcome book. _Distraction time!_

“You must already be a part of the Actor’s Section by now, why haven’t you looked at that booklet already?”

It was her turn to look awkward. 

“That’s because...It’s embarassing to not know everything there is to know about the company you’re a part of!”

_Guess I’m not the only liar around, but what is she hiding?_

BP was about to ask, but was interrupted by the approach of someone else to the scene.

“Kotonami-san!” It was the supervisor of LME’s Actor’s Section, Matsushima-san. “You said ‘no’ and went home yesterday after hearing how the system works, and I was afraid you’d never come back.” He looked really relieved. “But, I’m glad you did! You’ve got talent, so if you overcome this hurdle, you can debut right away! Do your best!”

BP felt something rise in him, something like anticipation. _Is he saying what I think he’s saying?!_ BP glanced at Kanae, and she looked horrified. _Oh I think he is._ The corners of his mouth twitched.

“Starting today, you’re a member of the LoveMe Section!”

Kanae groaned.

BP smiled and smiled and it hurt his face. He tried to take a drag of his cigarette, but his lips weren’t cooperating.

“Well ain’t that something,” the smiled slipped from his face and into his words. Kanae glared at him. His gaze softened a smidge. “What happened at the audition?” he was genuinely curious. She probably had the most talent out of all the applicants. Why did she need the LoveMe Section?

It was Matsushima-san who answered.

“Well, she passed the second round with no problem, and after that there was a Q&A session. It would be the last screening given to people who wanted to join the Actor’s Section. All the judges were looking forward to her response, but while the other participants talked at length about their reaction to the family love depicted, Kotonami-san said-”

**I think she’s an unhappy person. She will probably never think about her own happiness, because she’s bound by the idea of ‘family happiness’. I believe that a family like this will continue having problems. The main character is stu-, I mean unproductive.**

BP’s eyebrows shot up, and he glanced at Kotonami Kanae, who was doing her best to disappear into the floor. 

_Doesn’t feel so nice, when your failures are recounted to you?_ BP said in his mind with no real malice. If anything, he felt bad for her. _How should I approach this?_ He smoothed out his whiskers as he thought. 

Then, it hit him.

_Honesty worked before, I’ll try it again._

“We sure do have to go through a lot, huh?” BP cooed gently. “Those of us without love?” 

Kanae glared at him, but then the connection clicked in her mind, “You’re in THAT section too!” She looked like she was about to run away, “I’d rather start from scratch at the training school than work as an equal with a monster-hipster-guy!”

 _What’s a hipster?_ BP wondered, ignoring her tirade for the most part and hooking a thumb into the pocket of his jeans, feeling the lighter there. _Looks like it was too much to hope that honesty could triumph._ He exhaled a cloud of smoke with a touch of his magic. _Time to try a different method..._

Usually, BP could only use his magic when he thought of Mettaton, and lately he had been blissfully free of the robot’s influence, preoccupied as he was with LME’s actor’s course. Maybe he needed this as a reminder about the debts owed him by that monster. And his newly found rivalry with Ren. He would crush Mettaton with how famous he’d get, and he’d outdo Ren in acting oneday!

He used the weight of his feelings of revenge and power to stop Kotonami Kanae in her tracks. Malice. Resentment. Hatred. She attempted to move, and when she couldn’t horror spread across her face.

To outsiders, including Matsushima-san, it seemed like the cloud of smoke BP was making was simply lingering about, but BP’s words told Kanae different. 

“I tried to be nice, Kotonami-san.” He blew more smoke, gradually adding more and more weight to her body. BP towered over her, and he manipulated his magic to tilt her head up towards him. She was in full panic-mode, but unable to do anything about it. 

“Together, you and I,” he felt the Determination burning inside him, “We will wear the LoveMe uniform and take the acting world by storm!”

At last, BP had an ally, and he wasn’t going to let her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scout's honor next chapter will come out before Friday! It will have lots o' Maria in it. Had to cut off this chapter here cuz adding in more would make the chapter a little too long for my liking. I like keeping it between 2000-3000 words. just cuz. 
> 
> Also, what dost thou thinketh of BP's use of his powers? I thought using the smoke as a kind of disguise for his magic so he doesn't get in trubs with the humans just seemed right. I mean, the dude smokes all the time. It wouldn't be too unusual to see a cloud hanging around him, right?


	13. LoveMe Members

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some BP and Kanae bonding!

“What are you talking about?” BP’s voice was monotone. “It’s a wonderful uniform. The neon pink jumpsuit is easily discernible from any distance, and the LoveMe logo on the left chest and back advertise LME proudly…”

He leaned against the LoveMe Section’s door thumbs in pockets as Kotonami Kanae changed inside. 

“You don’t believe a word that you’re saying!” she huffed and ranted, but he could hear her shuffling to put it on.

BP smiled around the cigarette in his mouth. 

_Having someone suffer with you is so much fun._ But he decided the time for picking on her was over. 

“I know it’s not the glamorous road to stardom that you wanted,” he became less mocking, more sincere. _It certainly wasn’t what I had expected_ , he took a long drag of his cigarette and held it in before letting it go. “But you gotta admit, for people like us...it’s an opportunity we just can’t let go.”

She was quiet a bit. Then, “What do you mean ‘people like us’?”

“Buddy,” BP laughed, “If there was ANY other way you could get what you wanted, you think you'd be bothering with the LoveMe Section at all?”

He could hear her on the other side of the door. Her quiet spoke volumes. The laughter left BP’s voice.

“The fact of the matter is, we’re desperate, the two of us.” She opened the door to look at him, decked out in the pink jumpsuit, but hidden behind a bandanna and sunglasses. He didn’t know her story, or why she was here willing to put herself through this, but he could feel a kindred spirit in her. Her soul was unyielding. She knew what she wanted. 

“There’s something we want in this world that means more than our pride.”

_Revenge._ He was letting himself get distracted recently. He couldn’t lose sight of the end goal! _Mettaton WILL pay for what he did to me!_

He didn’t have to ask Kanae to know what it was she wanted. She had said it at the audition. To become a great actress. He could see it in her eyes, that dream. It was his dream once too. 

He held out his paw and matched the fire in her eyes.

“Let’s reach it together!” 

She eyed his paw suspiciously, but then she smiled. It was wicked and challenging. She grabbed it and gave it a rough shake. “Bet I make it there first!”

This time, he matched the smile on her face, “You’re on!” He gripped her hand tighter.

This felt good. This felt right. 

How often did he get to say that?

“Well, let’s go, fellow LoveMe member. I gotta talk to Sawara-san about payment options for the acting school. Maybe we can find something to help you out, too.”

Kanae looked at him a question on her brow. “Aren’t you going to change?”

BP felt sweat form on his forehead. _Dang it! So, close!_

“Well...since it wasn’t official LoveMe business…”

“Oh no!” Kanae didn’t even let him finish his excuse. “We’re in this together!” She pointed an accusing finger at him, daring him to say no. “It’s sink or swim now, and if I have to go out there with this godforsaken uniform, possibly ruining my public image, you’re going down with me!”

BP smiled, but it came off more as a grimace, “Okay, okay. Give me a sec. No peeking,” he winked and closed the door before she could react. 

_It’s only fair,_ BP supposed. _The whole point of suffering together is to suffer together._ He pulled the uniform out of his locker, and stored his normal clothes there. 

He was quicker about dressing than her, and walked out the room like he was going down a runway. He put sass and swing in each step, having seen Mettaton do it a million times. “How about it, Kanae?” BP put a hand on his hip and gave her his best ‘come hither’ look with accompanying eyebrow waggle, “The uniform sexy enough for ya?”

People whispered as they passed making comments like “So they’re a comedy group after all?” and “How embarrassing!”, but BP just ignored them. He was used to it.

But Kanae wasn’t.

He watched with smug glee as she pressed her lips into a line, trying to suppress the urge to laugh while simultaneously shooting the passersby menacing glances.

_She reminds me of Tsunderplane._ With the corners of his mouth upturned, BP decided to end her misery.

“Come on,” he waved her along. “Let’s go, partner.” He lowered his tone an octave, “Time to make our suffering work for us for once.”

\---

At LME Agency Training School, it looked as if an earthquake had passed. Broken vases, thrown furniture, and even an injured child littered the landscape.

“I’m sorry, we hoped we could handle it by ourselves,” it was a distressed woman who spoke. She seemed to be a teacher at the school, “but the students are starting to get hurt.”

“No,” the president said firmly. He was still dressed like he was hauling silks and salt across the desert to trade. “Thanks for telling me, and the girl? Do you know where she is?”

The woman shook her head, “No, sorry. She’s nowhere to be seen.” 

“I see…” 

_She used to come to LME everyday, and I was wondering why she started coming to the training school instead.._ He rubbed his chin in thought. _There must be something here._

\---

“I’m glad you came, BP-san, I needed to talk to you.”

“What’s up, Sawara-san?” It was rare for the man to ask for anything. He looked really put out. BP figured questions about paying for acting school could wait a bit, if it was to help out the human. Sawara-san had been the one to give him this opportunity, after all.

“Well, I don’t know all the details, you’ll have to ask the president about that, but there’s a problem child who’s been going over to the training school everyday to interrupt lessons and rehearsals. She overdid it, and a student got hurt. The president was going to scold her, but we can’t find her.”

“Why is the president so involved with this girl?” _Seemed kind of strange, for him to personally scold someone’s kid. Well, if someone got hurt, I guess it’s a liability thing._

“Oh, I guess you wouldn’t know, since you’re new, but she’s the president’s granddaughter.”

“Granddaughter?! The president?!” He definitely didn’t feel that old to BP at all. 

Sawara-san nodded, and showed them her picture.

It was the same girl Kanae had thrown, and that BP had scolded. BP face-palmed, then massaged his temples.

_I sure know how to make enemies, huh? The fucking president’s granddaughter...she probably hates me..._

“So, the president called directly from the school. He wants you over there. There’s something he wants to ask you, regarding this.” 

“I don’t know how we could help, but we needed to talk about a possible scholarship or something to help pay for tuition at the school, anyway.”

“This could be a good way to bring it up,” Sawara-san agreed. “I’d hurry over, if I were you.”

“Thanks, Sawara-san. Oh yeah! This is Kotonami Kanae, the newest LoveMe member!” He made his voice like an announcer on a game show, big, loud, and obnoxious. 

She glared at BP, but greeted Sawara-san politely. 

“Nice to meet you. Now! Don’t keep the president waiting!” He waved them off.

BP and Kanae walked at a brisk pace, but it was comfortable enough for some conversation. He wanted to learn more about his new partner.

“So, you’re not nervous about having thrown the president’s own granddaughter?” BP knew that she had recognized the child in the photo as well, but she showed no sign of remorse. He didn’t know if it was her acting, or if she really didn’t feel regretful.

“Nope. I don’t know why those people at the audition made a big deal about that. It was just play. Plus, it seems like she needs a little discipline anyway if she’s causing this much trouble,” she sounded completely unconcerned that her actions would have any negative repercussions, and BP was inclined to believe that this was her real thought on the matter. 

_Throwing kids is play? Humans are weird…_

“So, do you have a lot of experience with kids?”

“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

BP jumped at her shouting, and his fur stood on end making him appear bigger. Kanae’s outburst was completely unexpected, he didn’t have time to temper his reaction.

Kanae looked flustered and angry, but once she saw BP’s reaction all anxiety and defensiveness melted away instantly. She couldn’t help but laugh. It was soft and mocking at first, but then when she saw BP’s embarrassed expression it became loud and rolling. She held her stomach, tears stinging the edges of her eyes. 

“Oh..my...gosh…” she had to get the words out between breaths. “You look absolutely ridiculous!” 

“Shut up! It’s a defense mechanism!” he quickly tried to smooth out his fur. But he couldn’t stop the sheepish giggles tumbling through him.

_So, family is definitely a minefield to avoid with Kanae. Family and children._ Maybe one day he’d ask her about it, but right now he didn’t care. He just wanted to enjoy the company. This camaraderie was something he could get used to. 

\---

BP held onto a script titled “The Miraculous Language of Angels”. He had just finished looking it over. The play wasn’t one he was familiar with but he got the gist of things. A father who blamed his daughter for the death of the wife.

“So, your granddaughter, Maria, is causing trouble because of this play? Why?”

_What a strange thing to throw a fit over. The play ended happy. What was there to be upset about?_

“I think that, she sees a lot of herself in the daughter of the play…”

BP gestured for him to continue, when no more words were forthcoming.

The president sighed. “It’s a long, sad story…”

BP leaned back in his chair. He took the cigarette from his mouth and balanced it between his fingers while letting out a cloud of nicotine. 

“I’m all ears.”

\---

While the president and BP talked, Kanae was trying to keep it together.

“And what’s with that stupid name? The LoveMe Section? It suits those dropouts.”

She had been enduring for as long as she could, but that was the final straw.

_Dropouts?! DROPOUTS?! You said that while looking at me! ME! Me who’s going to represent Japan as an actress in the near future?!_ She was shaking with rage. _I’ll show you degenerates!_

Kanae took in a steadying breath and exhaled. She steeled her gaze, and was ready to confront them.

“You there, with nothing better to do than gossip about others,” she cast her tone in a confident yet disinterested way. Like she was old money calling on a butler. 

They looked at her with defiance and a touch of awkwardness. They knew very well what they were doing. The group prepared themselves, readying insults for whatever she’d call them.

“Give me a script.”

Now they were confused. The prey wasn’t acting like it should.

“Are you deaf as well as stupid?? Give me a script! It can be anything, and I bet I’ll act the scene better than any one of you.”

The group murmured to themselves. They seemed to agree that she’d only serve to embarrass herself, and they handed her a copy of “The Miraculous Language of Angels”. The play they were studying. 

She skimmed through it at lightning speeds. Her talent often came in handy in situations like these. _Not that it’s everyday I get into acting battles with people_. But she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the shock on their faces when she started delivering lines with flawless recall.

Kanae teared up, playing the sympathetic sister. Her tone was gentle and pleading. She was trying to convince the father not to hurt her younger sister anymore. Her pleas shone even in her body language the slight shake of her hands, the slump of her shoulders. Then, at the drop of a hat, she was the stubborn father, loud and self-loathing. She could only see the daughter as a person who killed his beloved. She was angry, she couldn’t control her movements. She was cursing the heavens.

The crowd was dumbfounded. It was a level they couldn’t hope to reach. Playing two roles? Memorizing a script in under a minute?

They admitted defeat.

Then, she was Kanae again. Smug and oh so confident in herself. 

“Oh, you’ve had enough? What weak opponents!”

One of the group spoke out, “I am so humiliated that I lost to someone in the stupid LoveMe Section!”

Cue her anger.

“I’m NOT a-” she stopped.

She remembered BP. She had shook his hand. She couldn’t throw him under the bus here. It was sink or swim together, now. She said so herself. 

_A different approach then._

“You think the LoveMe section is the lowest you can go?”

She paused as if waiting for a response, but continued before they could gather their wits.

“But it was a LoveMe member who beat you today,” she spoke as if it were a great puzzle. “It was a LoveMe member who showed you what acting really can be!” She put a finger to her chin, like she was thinking very hard. “I guess I’m wondering...If we’re the lowest of the low,” she pressed a hand to her chest over the LoveMe logo, “what does that make you?”

She put every ounce of poison she could into her words and was rewarded by the shame on their faces.

She flashed them an “L” with her fingers using the same emphasis someone would when giving the finger then went to join BP and the president who she saw was heading this way.

Kotonami Kanae was a LoveMe member, and she was just beginning to understand what that meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I guess I lied when I said there would be a ton of Maria in this chapter...She actually didn't appear at all? I really don't know how that happened...I'm very sorry for misleading you...
> 
> I guess I wanted to deepen Kanae and BP's relationship more. I hope you like the repertoire they are developing with each other. It's honestly fun to write.


	14. The Miraculous Language of Angels Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BP uses his magic to lure Maria in and is challenged!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize for how late this chapter is. This month has been hell, but I won't make excuses to you guys. The chapter is here now, and I plan to update more regularly in the future. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

BP figured it was about time he tried to control his magic a bit better, and this was the perfect opportunity. Kanae stood to the side arms folded as she watched the cat monster with guarded curiosity. They were both still at the training school, but the crowd of gossipers had dispersed, and the president had left to go search for Maria. It was only the two of them in a large empty hall.

He reached into himself where his soul should be, where he used to feel the shining bud of his healing magic, and where the dark energies now swirled. BP closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Hatred. Malice. Resentment.

Even though this was his first time trying to use this new magic voluntarily, BP didn’t need for Sans to tell him that this is how his magic is activated now. He knew that these emotions had replaced the hope, compassion, and love he used to feel. Tapping into this new well of magic was almost instinctual.

He focused his mind on how he was wronged, on the unfairness of it all. The years of humiliation, emotional torture, and rejection. The darkness began to answer him, burned inside him. He projected it out, whispered a command to the tendrils of dark smoke that flowed from him, and watched as it left to do as it was bid. The magic moved along the ground and near the walls, hiding in shadows, and moving with disconcerting speed and a kind of sentience.

The whole process left him drained.

BP dropped to the floor with a sigh, and Kanae was at his side a look of concern melting away her mask of indifference. She had her hands out uncertainly, like she didn’t know what to do with them. She settled with a light pat on his shoulder.

She tried to sound casual, “Nice trick...so, what was that?”

BP made himself more comfortable on the ground, lacking the Determination to get up, “That, my fellow LoveMe member, is our ticket to affordable education.”

“It was creepy,” she said flatly.

BP sighed, “I know, but if it gets us where we need to go, what does that matter?”

Kanae couldn’t argue with that.

All they had to do now was wait.

\---

BP’s magic rushed through the halls of the training school largely unnoticed. It searched through classrooms, hallways, and studios, but people continued to walk past it or look through it without a second glance. Either the magic was moving too fast and hid itself too well in the shadows, or these blissfully unaware people simply did not wish to see it, and therefore it wasn’t there. 

Finally, after not too long of searching, the magic found what it had been commanded to.

A girl in a cute piggy mask was watching as two people practised a scene from “The Miraculous Language of Angels”. It was some of the gossipers that had challenged Kanae. They weren’t willing to accept defeat, and had taken to practising the lines with the LoveMe member’s stunning performance in mind. The masked young girl looked as if she might start to cause trouble.

But before she could do whatever it was she had planned, from outside of the little piggy’s vision a familiar voice called out.

“What are you doing there?” It was deep, velvety, and laced with concern.

She turned around with her hands clasped in front of her. The child’s dreamy expression was somehow palpable from under the mask.

“Ren-sama?” she called out sweetly.

Tsuruga Ren stood there, dressed in an outfit that looked ready for the runway. It was a white Armani suit with a long coat that flared elegantly at the end. He outstretched a hand towards the girl, beckoning her closer.

When she made a move to go to him, he turned away casting a smile over his shoulder and saying, “Follow me.”

And she did.

\---

BP’s eyes shot open.

“I found her,” he had been sitting on the ground all this time, but he stood up now and stomped some feeling back into his numb legs.

“Let’s go, then.” Kanae made to leave, but BP stopped her with a gentle but firm paw.

“We don’t have to go anywhere.”

She set her mouth ready to argue, but was shocked silent by the figure of Tsuruga Ren walking towards them, a little pig girl in his wake. Her disbelief at the situation was only surpassed once the figure disappeared into a cloud of smoke leaving behind a very confused child and an equally confused adult.

BP breathed a sigh of relief at the released magic and almost laughed at the two who were still blinking as if the figure would come back at any moment.

“You two can relax,” BP reassured, “It was just my magic.”

“Magic?!” the little pig girl exclaimed. She was next to him in an instant, with all the irrepressible energy of the young. “C-can you show me more??”

BP was already feeling the hollowness that came from using too much magic, but he couldn’t take the risk of her running off again. He definitely did not have enough in him for another search party.

“Sure, little buddy, let’s find a seat and I’ll see what I can whip up.” _If I don’t pass out first…_

They moved out of the hallway to somewhere with chairs, a class was chatting during a break a few feet away.

Luckily, it didn’t take much to impress Maria. BP got away with conjuring up doll-sized Rens for her. They all wore the same outfit, however. During BP’s research as he was trying to get to know the industry, this was the only outfit that stuck in his mind clearly enough for him to conjure correctly. He hoped that would be okay with Maria. 

While Maria, who had already taken off the piggy mask she was wearing to hide, stared at the strangely lifelike smoke figures with sparkles in her eyes, Kanae stared for an entirely different reason. 

_The accessories, the tie, the handkerchief in his breast pocket, and the shoes...it’s so detailed! It is the exact outfit Tsuruga Ren wore at the Veteran Actress’ 40th Anniversary Party!_

She shot a shocked glance at the cat monster, who seemed to be exhausted, but enjoying himself nonetheless. He made the little Ren doll bow to the giggling child like a prince charming. He smiled soft and sweet at her blushing reaction.

 _I thought he was a Mettaton fan? Well, calling him just a fan would be an understatement. He is only in this industry to...what was it? ‘Catch up with Mettaton?’ He’s basically dedicated his life to that guy, and now he’s memorizing every detail of Tsuruga Ren’s outfits...more than that he’s even got the body proportions exactly right…_ She remembered how exact the full-sized version was from before. 

Kanae couldn’t begin to comprehend the dedication it takes to create something that realistic, even with magic. _He’s more than a fan...he’s a super fan._

Maria had taken to talking to BP about the human’s version of magic that used candles and voodoo dolls. He listened to the child attentively but with drooping eyelids.

“So, how does monster magic work?” The child looked up at him with curiosity, after she had filled his head with the extent of her knowledge of curses and love spells.

Kanae’s ears perked up. She would be lying if she said she were not insanely curious as well. She didn’t know any monsters personally, and even after they’ve been on the surface for so long, there was still a certain mystery around them. So, when it looked like he might divulge some information, she leaned in...just a little. 

BP’s smile turned into something sadder. He looked away from either of them. Then, as if making a decision, he spoke, “Hope, love, and compassion,” he began. “That’s what monsters are made of, and it’s the source of our magic...usually.”

His fingers twitched toward his pack of cigarettes, but he didn’t want to smoke in front of the kid, so he restrained himself. He could stand the headache for a bit.

“Our magic...it’s like a piece of us. It’ll manifest as something that defines who we are.”

“And yours is smoke?” Kanae interrupted.

BP smiled bitterly, “It wasn’t always.” 

When had he become so dependent on smoking anyway? He didn’t think he was addicted, yet there was the throbbing in his head asking for the relief which would be all too easy to give into that said otherwise. BP sunk lower into his chair and closed his eyes heaving a deep sigh. He was so tired. Using that much magic left him feeling empty. 

A small hand petted his ears and shocked his eyes open. Maria smoothed out his fur, and scratched his ears. He leaned into it on reflex, but managed to suppress the purr that threatened to rumble out of him. He would NOT embarrass himself again in front of Kanae with his stupid cat instincts!

“Actually,” she started after giving him a final pet, “I’ve always wanted to talk to you.”

He raised an eyebrow and remained quiet, waiting for her to continue. 

“When i first met you, I felt it,” she gave him a look that no child should have. It was dangerous and jaded. “We are the same.”

A chill went down BP’s spine, but before he could process this new information Lory Takarada’s voice boomed out interrupting BP’s thoughts. 

“Maria,” He towered over them, all doom and gloom. 

“Grandfather,” the young girl met his gaze with defiance. It was strange for such a young girl to be using that formal address with their own grandpa. 

Suddenly, BP became aware of all the people in the room that had gone quiet, trying to catch every word. _Had these people been listening to my conversation with Maria as well?_ He would have to be more careful of eavesdroppers in the future. 

“Did you apologize to everyone?” This was the voice of a father and a grandfather, experienced in being obeyed. 

“Why should I?” she was petulant, her seven years showing now where it wasn’t before.

“You hid because you thought I would scold you, and that’s because you thought you did something bad, right?” he was calm and logical, his fifty or so years of experience showing in his words if not his appearance.

Caught, Maria decided to switch gears, “Grandfather, are you really putting the play on as a regular performance?!” Her words were desperate, and there was a feral look in her face. “The play is so stupid and naive, it’s an embarrassment to LME! The heroine’s mother died because of her! She killed someone! Why do the people around her love her? Why does even her older sister defend her?” 

Up until this point she had been ranting, lost in her emotions. Now, she was losing steam, but not emotion. “And it’s too convenient that the father can love the heroine in the end…even a child like me wouldn’t be moved.”

There was pity in the president’s eyes, he was about to deny everything she just said, to convince her she was wrong. He knew she wasn’t talking about the play, but any words of comfort were interrupted by BP.

“I agree with you,” he was still exhausted, but he could feel his magic stirring from the child’s words.

“You understand what I want to say?” she looked at him hopefully. 

_What are you playing at?_ The president thought. _I’ve already explained to him what happened to Maria, so he knows what this means to her...why is he indulging this unhealthy behavior?_ Lory was disapproving, but he was willing to see where BP would go with this. 

BP nodded to Maria, “I read the play you’re talking about, and I see what you’re saying. The end is all wrapped up too nicely. The mom is dead because of the heroine’s actions, and they expect people to believe that the older sister has NO animosity for her at all? None? Yeah right. And then the father, the only really human character, makes up with her in the end?” BP laughed. It was bitter and without humor. 

He crossed his arms a resentful look cracking his face, “There are some things you just can’t forgive, even for monsters...and much less for humans.” He had seen a lot of the human race in the five years he’s been on the surface, and they don’t always put their best foot forward.

“You act it out then!” one girl from the crowd of onlookers challenged. “Act out a resentful sister, BUT the sister must make the heroine realize that her father doesn’t really hate her! And I won’t let you say no-”

“I accept.”

“Wha-?” She was expecting a protest, accusations...something. 

“I accept your challenge,” BP stood up to face her on an even level. _Finally, an opportunity to act for real! And it’s improv! A true test of my skills!_ He felt his exhaustion burn away from the adrenaline. 

BP grinned at the nervous crowd and settled on the instigator. She backed off. He was hungry to prove himself, and they thought he would shy away from this? They thought he could be intimidated? Oh no.

_I’ll show you the acting that will make Mettaton fall before me and Tsuruga Ren quake in his boots!_

“When do we start?”


	15. The Miraculous Language of Angels Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acting Start!

“Let’s make this even more interesting,” BP proposed. He circled the group of challengers like a vulture with a wounded animal in its sights, waiting for it to take its final breaths. “If the older sister character that I act out is good, then you all won’t complain when I get a LoveMe Section Scholarship to help pay the tuition for this school.” Dissatisfied grumbles made waves through the crowd.

As BP expected, they weren’t too thrilled with the prospect of LoveMe members getting treated specially, even though the “scholarship” in question would only just barely allow him to manage a semester there. All they would see it as is him currying favor to get ahead just like Ruri-chan did. That’s why he needed this. He needed to show them that he had just as much right to be there as they did.

“It’s a matter I’ve already discussed with the president, but I figured there’d be discontent. After this challenge, I want you all to acknowledge that I belong at this school, and any ill will you have will just be a hard pill for you to swallow.”

“And if you lose?”

BP shrugged, “If the Flora I act out is unsatisfactory, then I won’t attend this school at all. You’ll never have to deal with me again.”

_If I can’t improv something like this, I don’t deserve to attend LME’s training school anyway. I’ll get my revenge, eventually, if not this school then another means. I’ll do it. I know I will!_

“Fine, we accept your terms. You can have some time to think about how you want to act it out, but it won’t be long.”

BP nodded. He was fine with that. He already had an idea of how he wanted to approach this anyway.

It was decided that the president would watch and referee. If he could see that the part was being played well, and the challengers were disapproving just to disapprove he would put a stop to it. But for the most part, he would be only be an onlooker.

While BP sat back down and closed his eyes to think about his part, Maria was pouting.

“Maria...I know it’s unfair, but everyone has to pass a skill test to enter this school, anyway. I thought I’d make this his skill test, and kill two birds with one stone.”

“Grandfather! The skill test to enter is still much easier than this! This type of test is far too advanced for a beginner and you know it!” She was livid. How dare he agree to this and risk ruining her chance for friendship with the most interesting person she has met since Ren-sama!

“I know. But BP-san agreed to the terms himself, and...” and just like that the serious father-figure was replaced with a grinning mischievous boy, “I’m looking forward to seeing how well he can do.” 

Maria could hardly get her words out, she was so shocked.

He only smiled at her fluster, “You really like BP-san, don’t you?”

She was surprised by his statement, but found she couldn’t deny it. Maria became thoughtful. “Because, when adults talk to kids, they lie. I can’t trust a thing that people say to me half the time, even you. You lie with the best intentions. I saw you ready to do it earlier, to tell me the things you’ve told me so many times before...But with Bee-chan-”

_Bee-chan?_ the president and Kanae thought simultaneously. She was eavesdropping on their conversation as well, but chose to keep quiet and let them talk it out. She was content to observe. She also needed to see for herself, what her partner is capable of.

“With Bee-chan, I know what he’s saying are his true feelings because he told me exactly what I’ve been telling myself all these years,” she looked sad beyond her years, and defeated. “Crying is useless.”

_BP-san said that??_ They thought simultaneously again.

“I was so shocked, I trembled and my heart burned like fire!” On her face was the look of sincere bliss and appreciation even though her words were more like something from a horror movie.

_Why would you enjoy that?!_ the president tried to comprehend. His grandchild’s reaction was abnormal to say the least. 

Kanae, meanwhile, decided now was a good time to go check on BP. She had a sinking suspicion that he was actually sleeping and not in deep thought.

“Hey” she poked him. 

His eyes fluttered open and he yawned while stretching his arms out obnoxiously.

She slapped him on the arm.

“Ow! Kanae, what the hell?! That hurt!” he rubbed his arms pitifully. “I think I may have lost HP from that.” 

_No honorific, no honorific, no honorific????_ Her brain sputtered for a moment, but her face remained stern. Then she remembered, he had said her name without an honorific before, when he was modeling the LoveMe uniform, but she was too embarrassed by the gossipers to notice properly. She shook it off and renewed her fury. _I’m too old to worry about when a guy uses honorifics or not anyway! Focus!_

“What the hell me? What the hell you! You’re about to have an acting battle, which seems to happen all too often at LME for some reason, and all you can do is sleep?! You need to think about your part! Do you even have a plan???”

“Don’t worry. I know what I’m going to do,” he leaned back and closed his eyes again.

“Really?” she sat next to him stunned and impressed.

“Really. The best thing I can do right now is try to regain some of my energy. I used a lot of magic earlier, and I’m feeling it.” _I really need to start carrying monster food around with me._

“So, what _is_ your plan?”

BP smiled, eyes still closed, “What’s life without some mystery?” 

Kanae rolled her eyes, “You’re a jerk.”

“Takes one to know one.”

She sputtered and fumed before finally getting out, “How immature!” crossing her arms ferociously, but BP only laughed. 

_Is this what it’s like to have a sister?_ He smiled, relishing the feeling. 

“You really got yourself in a pickle, a genderswap role and a reinterpretation all while improvising,” she shook her head willing to let his previous comment go. “I don’t know why you complained about the script in the first place.” 

BP shrugged, “Because it really was unnatural. If Flora really loved her mom, then she’d want to blame someone for her death. No one is that understanding.”

“So? You’re entitled to your opinion, but if it’s not in the script, it’s not important. The character’s backstory doesn’t matter. It’s the actor’s job to express what’s written and nothing else.” 

“Hmmm,” the cat monster hummed, “I’m gonna hafta disagree with you there. While that technique may work for you, for me, I have to feel what the character’s feeling, you know? Realistic character’s make for a better story anyway.”

Kanae rolled her eyes, “Method actors…”

BP opened his eyes and gave her a wink. 

She shook her head with an automatic upturn of the lips. Then, she became serious, “But you know, you can’t always rely on that.”

BP sat up and rested his chin on his knuckles, with his elbow digging into his thigh, “What do you mean?”

Kanae pressed her lips together in thought. She always looked angry, but her words weren’t harsh when they finally came. “Let’s say you’re doing a movie about a well-known story, uhhh, Cinderella, let’s say. You’re playing the prince. You’ve danced with a girl at the ball and she ran away at midnight. Does it really make sense for him to rouse the entire country to look for her, to match her with a glass slipper? No. Does it even make sense for him to marry her after only dancing with her once? No. But it wouldn’t be Cinderella without those things. You see what I’m saying?”

BP scrunched his nose, moving his whiskers comically, “Kinda.”

She nodded, “Sometimes characters are flat for a reason. They give us comfort. When a story wraps up nicely, when things go exactly how you thought they would, when there is a happy ending, it gives the audience a sense of catharsis. That’s what ‘The Miraculous Language of Angels’ sought to do.” She matched his posture and tried to read his face, to see if he really was getting what she was trying to say.

“I can do that with a resentful Flora,” he replied in a hushed tone.

Kanae smiled wickedly, “Show me.”

\---

BP stood in front of the challengers. They were bitter and mocking, but he paid them no mind.

Maria grabbed his paw and petted it soothingly, “They’re just jealous.”

He smiled down at her, comforted by her presence. _She’s an okay kid, when she’s not throwing a tantrum that forces her grandfather to elicit help from near complete strangers…_

“Hey, you…” a hand grabbed his shoulder roughly. It was Kanae. She was riled up from the smack talking. “If your acting sucks and they laugh at you, I won’t forgive you! Crush them!”

_Whoa, this chick is way too competitive! What a strange mixture of Undyne and Tsunderplane..._ She continued to rant about killing them all, to which Maria joined in. He would never be intimidated by the naysayers and bad mothers, but a Kanae whipped up into a frenzy was nothing to sneeze at. 

“Uhh, sure thing, guys…” _No pressure, right?_ He nearly laughed. _Man, I need a cigarette._

The teacher was giving her students some advice.

“All right. Please begin with the scene as it is written in the script. After that, your acting will depend on how he acts.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll improvise.”

“Leave it up to us.”

They were confident that BP would not be able to act it out, and their acting would come out superior. They were saying something to BP, probably more bad mouthing, but he wasn’t paying them any mind.

_Okay, Flora is from a good family, so elegance, elegance._ He stood up straighter. _But she’s a lady, young but not too young._ He shifted his weight with a seductive sway. _She’s angry, but she’s also hurting._ He grabbed his right elbow with his left hand, in a defensive gesture, and brought his right hand to cover his mouth in a comforting manner.

_My sister has killed my mother. My sister has killed my mother._ He tried to get into the mindset, when a thought occurred to him. _What if it was Kanae?_

Suddenly, BP felt very cold. _What if Kanae killed her?_

“Oh?” the president looked to where BP stood. _Did...did his aura just change? Something feels different…_ BP had nailed the posture before. It was feminine and belied a fragility that was doing it’s best to stay strong, but now, his arms had dropped to his sides limply. And he was staring into nothing.

_Is he so into the role, that he created an atmosphere palpable by the audience? This guy’s a monster…_

The president sat back and smiled. Maria eyed him suspiciously.

“Why are you so happy?”

“I told you, already. I’m really looking forward to this.”

It was about to start.

\---

“Poor, Angel. You’ve blamed yourself all this time, but you shouldn’t,” one of the other actors announced. “There’s no one in the world who hates you.”

The child actor was seated, she looked defiant. “That’s what everybody says, but I know that behind my back, they’re all saying I killed mother!”

Maria looked on with a grim determination, tiny fists clenched at her sides. Her thoughts were on events long past, things that still haunted her.

“It doesn’t change the fact that mother died because of me! And that’s why...father still hates me,” the child acted distraught, and a different actor went to comfort her.

“What are you saying, Angel? No parent could hate their child.”

“Pfft,” Flora tried to stifle the laugh, but it was just no use. It was just so funny! It rolled out of her in waves, making tears in the corners of her eyes. 

“Flora,” the other actor called out hesitantly. “Why are you laughing?”

_Annoying_ Flora thought. _All of these people are annoying_.

“Oh…” she said sweetly, “Considering that I’ve heard the same line from so many people…”

Kanae looked on in shock, _Those are the same lines from the script! She’s saying the same things!_

“I just can’t help it…Excuse me.” With those last two words, the sweetness fell away to a barely restrained rage. Flora’s eyes were accusing and savage. There was something unhinged about it like at any moment she would lash out at them without warning or remorse.

The other actors were successfully afraid. This Flora was scary. They clung to each other on reflex.

Kanae, Maria, and the president looked on with surprise. The quiet didn’t last long for Maria, though. She began to rave about how much of a good sister Bee-chan’s Flora was. She gushed and sparkled, but Kanae and the president were still stunned. The president more by his granddaughter’s reaction than BP’s Flora.

Flora’s part continued.

“You’re a smart girl, Angel” the sweetness was back. It was all the more scary, knowing what lie beneath it. “You’ve found the answer within yourself, before other people tried to convince you.”

Flora circled the actor playing Angel, with the same sway and elegance from before. 

“Your father hates you,” there was joy in her voice when she said it. And the shocked audience could only look on in disgust.

_Make her suffer, like I’ve suffered_ Flora thought as she drove home the final nail in the coffin.

“And so do I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two back to back! Woo! It's Mardi Gras where I live so I'm off work. Figured I'd get as much out as I could before things got crazy again.
> 
> This was so funnnnn. I'm gonna do some more research on method acting so I can have a good representation here. Technically, this is the kind of acting Kyoko does too, she just doesn't realize it and does it instinctively. BP on the other hand has begun to try and train himself this way. 
> 
> He's a bit more confident in his abilities, and for good reason. In his mind he "becomes" Flora, so that's why I refer to him as that in the chapter. As long as he's in character, he's that character. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this!!


	16. The Miraculous Language of Angels Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stunning conclusion of BP's acting battle! And two surprise guests...

Maria felt tears sting her eyes.

It was what she had wanted to hear since her mother died, so why? Why did it still affect her like this? She knew it was true from the beginning. Maria knew her father hated her for asking her mother to come home for her birthday. That was the reason she was dead now. She wouldn’t have been in that plane crash if not for her!

_I never wanted to believe what everyone told me...Claims that it wasn’t my fault always sounded so hollow and insincere. It was LIES. ALL OF IT. And I never wanted to allow myself to hope...only to be disappointed at the truth._

She watched the other actors squirm under BP’s terrifying presence.

_I thought I squashed this hope long ago,_ she clasped her hands in front of her, trying to steady their shaking. _So why? Why does it still hurt so much?_

The president made to try and comfort the crying girl, “Ma-” 

“I’M CRYING RIGHT NOW!” she exclaimed as the tears rolled down her face.

“Um, yes.”

“But’s it’s because I was so moved from Bee-chan’s performance!”

“You don’t have to make such ridiculous excuses.”

“It’s no excuse! Now be quiet, I want to watch!”

\---

“You...hate me?” the actor was hesitant and pitiful.

This made Flora hesitate. _No, I hate her! She killed mother!_

“Yes,” she said breathless. “I can’t forgive you,” she held up her chin proud and unyielding, “and neither can father. You can tell from the way he’s been acting, right?”

“That’s not true!” the child seemed surprised at her own response.

There was an unnatural smile, on Flora’s face, “Now that’s just hilarious, I may start laughing again. What could he have possibly done that gave you that idea?”

“B-because,” the actor floundered. Then, she realized something. 

“Father always carries my picture with him!”

“So? He carries photos of our brother and me too.” 

Flora casually shot down every rebuttal that Angel could come up with. And with each denial, Angel got more and more frantic, and Flora started losing more and more patience. 

Until.

She couldn’t stand it anymore.

“What do you know?!” her calculated sweetness was gone. All that remained was the hurt, the confusion.

Tears streamed down her face. She was angry, but more than that...Flora was in pain.

“You hardly even talk to him anymore! How could you begin to understand?”

“I do understand!” Angel claimed. “Because at the end of each email, he writes ‘I love you’!”

Flora felt her face twitch. She wanted to deny her, but in her heart she knew it was true. Their father still loved Angel, but...could she?

“Well, you’ve got your answer…”

\---

BP finally broke character because someone was hugging his legs. He looked down to see that it was a crying Maria. He scanned the room to see a quiet and stunned audience. 

_Is that good or bad?_ He was ready to go to sleep already. His limbs felt so heavy.

All of the audience knew, because they had all read the script, that somehow BP had managed to get the child actor to start saying Flora’s lines. All BP had to do was follow along with Angel’s lines, until the right moment to switch back to Flora and help Angel realize that her father did love her. This way, he didn’t have to come up with too many new lines, and everything could still make sense and stay true to the original spirit of the play.

Well, that was the theory.

In reality to BP, the whole scene felt surreal. It didn’t feel like he was acting a role or reciting lines. It felt like those were his real emotions, his real feelings. He was so into it, he didn’t even notice when Maria started arguing with him instead of the actor. He was just going along.

BP, still feeling a bit off, was slow to hug her back, but he did get around to it. He shushed and cooed and allowed a deep, quiet purr that only she could hear.

_She must have realized it during the performance,_ BP thought while petting her head like she had his earlier, _that her father loves her_.

The satisfaction he felt at that couldn’t hold back the ringing in his head. He started feeling nauseous. His grip on her weakened, and she pulled away.

It looked like she was saying something, but he couldn’t hear what it was. It was like she was underwater, or far away.

_It must be nice,_ he thought before crashing to the floor, _To have your love returned_.

He passed out, oblivious to the calls of alarm surrounding him.

\---

BP woke up in a familiar place, and groaned.

“Tell me I didn’t ride the ambulance here,” he growled out hoarsely.

“You didn’t ride the ambulance here,” Kanae told him dryly. She was staring at him pretty intensely. 

In spite of her staring, he sighed a breath of relief. It wasn’t that Monster Healthcare was expensive. It was actually free, that was one of the only things Asgore managed to secure before being locked up, and perhaps that was only because Toriel kept it going these days plus the relatively small amount of monsters in existence made the whole thing pretty sustainable. The only problem was the ambulances...they were still a part of Japan’s healthcare system, and that meant paying 30% of the fee. Which was good, but still way more than BP could afford.

The last time he visited the monster hospital, he had to pick up a third job during the holidays just to keep the apartment. Granted, now he didn’t have an insanely expensive apartment to pay for, and Grillby wasn’t exactly charging him, but that didn’t mean he still didn’t want to contribute to the fire monster’s household. And he knew he would be able to work even less hours now with the training school. He felt kinda guilty about that. Plus he needed a phone, new clothes, eventually an agent. Did LME pay for that?

_Wait! The training school! The acting battle!_

Kanae smiled as she saw BP’s face start to panic.

“Don’t worry, jerk,” Kanae calmed him. “Everything is settled. They _tried_ to weasel out of it, claiming because you started acting with Maria that it was invalid, but it was a weak argument and they knew it. You really killed it out there.” She got this weird look on her face, half admiration half worry. He was a real rival now. She would have to keep an eye on him.

He sunk back into the hospital pillow eyes closed, “Thank goodness,” then they sprung open again, “Wait, so, did you bring me here?”

“No, I brought you,” a new voice entered the conversation. And it was someone BP recognized.

“Director?”

“Come on, BP-san, you can call me Seiji.” He was dressed stylishly. All brand names and clean lines. He shot him a winning smile, and BP thought if he wasn’t a director, he could probably model.

“Oh, okay, Seiji.” BP wanted to ask what the hell he was doing here, but restrained himself as Seiji was getting ready to explain anyway.

“I was on my way to the training school to track you down, to give you your headshots of course, when I see that everyone is crowded around you collapsed on the ground! They were about to call the ambulance, but I had my helicopter parked on the building’s helipad, and I knew that would be faster. So, I offered to take you. And here we are. This one refused to let you go without her, so she rode on the helicopter with us.”

BP raised an eyebrow at Kanae, surprised that she would do that for him. She pointedly looked away.

“Thanks, Seiji. I don’t know how to repay you.” He was a little stunned this man he barely knew would go so far for him, but he was also disappointed that the one time he gets to ride in a helicopter and he’s unconscious for it. 

“Don’t mention it. It was the least I could do. Ruri is a saint now because of you. Just go on a date with me and we’ll call it even.”

BP just laughed, assuming it was a joke. And Seiji laughed too, albeit a bit awkwardly.

“Where is everyone else?” BP questioned.

“The president and Maria are coming,” Kanae answered, “Your emergency contact was someone named Grillby, so they phoned him to alert him, and are going to pick him up, now. They should be here soon.”

BP rubbed his temples. Grillby was going to burn a hole in the ground once he got here. He could probably guess what happened. Overuse of magic. Was he a child who had no control?

BP sighed.

“BP, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend the very successful director, Shingai Seiji?” She was looking at him meaningfully and blinking very hard.

_Didn’t they introduce themselves alr-_ Realization dawned on him, and he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. _She only came to the hospital to network!_ He decided to laugh, since it was so very Kanae to do something like this. He didn’t doubt she would be Japan’s top actress soon.

“Of course, how could I be so rude? Seiji, this is my partner in the LoveMe section, Kotonami Kanae. She is an excellent actress and someone you’ll be hearing about soon.”

Seiji inclined his head a tad and held out a hand in greeting. “I’ll be sure to look out for you, in the future, Kotonami-san!”

“A pleasure, Shingai-san.” She looked extremely pleased, and BP decided he didn’t mind that she used him like this. He had been teasing her a lot. BP considered them even now.

“Oh! Before I forget!” Seiji reached into his briefcase on the floor and pulled out a large envelope. “Here are your headshots.”

BP became excited. “Thank you so much! He popped it open and took out one of the copies.” He looked at the photo fondly, remembering the feel of the suit and the confidence it gave him. 

He handed it to Kanae when she reached out to see it. BP took satisfaction in seeing her jaw drop. 

“This is you?!” a faint blush rose to her cheeks.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” BP pretended to be hurt. He knew the change was drastic. “I happen to be quite handsome.”

Seiji mumbled something.

“What was that, Seiji?”

“What?”

“You said something?” _Deja vu, much,_ BP thought.

“Oh, I was just coughing.” He coughed weakly, like that would sell his point.

BP decided to let him off the hook. _I see why the guy directs instead of acts. He’s hiding something, but it’s so painfully obvious I feel sorry for him._

“Anyway…” Kanae changed the subject. “What happened, today? You had everyone so worried.”

“Ehh, I probably just overdid it with the magic earlier. No big deal,” he waved her concern away. It happens sometimes.

“But the doctor also said something about a low defense too?”

BP felt his stomach drop, “My DEF is low?” _My stats changed?? When?? I haven’t checked them in so long…_

“What is that? Like a Monster immune system or something?” Seiji asked.

“Kinda, it’s a bit hard to explain…”

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the door.

“BEE-CHAN!!” Maria shouted and launched into him with a fierce hug. 

“Maria!” he exhaled painfully. She had knocked the wind out of him. _Bee-chan?_ he decided to just roll with it. It was better than Burgerpants anyway.

“Hello, BP-san,” the president greeted with Grillby following close behind. “I trust, Kanae already told you the good news.”

“Hey Grillbz, and yes, she did. Thank you, president.”

“No, problem. It was the least I could do...considering all that you’ve done.”

_I’ll never be able to repay this man, no this monster, for the peace of mind he has given me,_ Lory realized. 

Maria was crying again, more gentle than before. 

“What’s wrong, Maria?” he cooed.

“You scared me...I thought, you were gone too.”

“Aw, little buddy, I’m the least of your worries. You gotta think about what you’ll be telling your father soon,” he poked her in the belly and she giggled. But it was replaced by a growing blush. 

“I have no idea how to start...What do you talk to your parents about?” Such an innocent question. 

BP felt an old hurt, older than when he started working for Mettaton so long ago, throb in him.

“Well, my parents are...gone.” Cue awkwardness. He could feel the palpable wince in the room. Grillby made his way over to put a warm hand on BP’s shoulder. He smiled at the cat monster and BP returned the gesture.

Maria was going to apologize, when BP stopped her. 

“It’s okay. It’s been many years now, time heals all wounds and all that jazz.” He smiled at her. It was genuine and understanding. “While I can’t say what I’d talk about with my parents, sometimes, I like to talk to Grillbz about cocktail ideas...though I guess that’s not appropriate for a kid.”

Everyone laughed. _Well, that felt good. How long has it been since I’ve been in an atmosphere like this? A guy could get used to it._

He sat back and let others give suggestions. He felt-

The door opened and a familiar yellow lizard monster walked in, visibly intimidated by the number of people in the room. 

The chatter stopped, and everyone looked to her.

“Uhhmm, c-can I h-have some time alone with Bur-I mean BP and Grillby, please?”

BP winced at her near slip up, but was impressed at how much her stutter had improved. She really was thriving here.

There were sounds of affirmation from the crowd. Some like the president and Maria, made their excuses to leave. He had business to do, and she had an email to write. While Seiji offered to stay, to which BP politely declined. He said they’d have to meet up again sometime, to which BP said sure, mostly to get him to leave. Kanae said she’d see him at the training school tomorrow, and BP agreed. He doubted they’d keep him another day. 

Just like that the whirlwind was over, and a new one was beginning.

“Okay, BP, we need to discuss your stats,” Her tone was grave.

BP gulped audibly. _What could possibly be wrong, now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn't know Seiji was going to show up again so soon, but that's just how it happened lol I'm really enjoying writing his awkward self and have some richboy competition for Ren hehe
> 
> I also didn't know Alphys would make an appearance too? Although it is brief. There will be more of her next time, though the next chapter will probably be next week.
> 
> I hope everything is making sense to you guys, and you're enjoying this. All the feedback is great and I'm so happy people are showing interest in the Skip Beat manga. There is an anime, but its pretty short i think. Go watch! Go read! You guys are great!


	17. Doctor, Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BP finds out what the heck is wrong, and a surprise visitor?!

“I-I th-think we should start with the m-mmost obvious one first,”

“First?” BP felt his breath come in shallow bursts. “There’s something else other than my DEF?”

Grillby put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and turned up the heat in his hand only slightly, but it was enough to ease some of the cold, stinging anxiety that started to well up inside him.

She looked at BP with what he could only describe as pity. It sent danger signals to his brain. He felt nauseous again. 

_What is happening to me?_ He tried to ground himself with the presence of the steady Grillby next to him. It helped.

“I g-guess the sc-cary human told you.”

Despite his rising anxiety, BP almost laughed. Well, he did laugh, but it was more like a puff of air. 

“Her name is Kotonami Kanae, and yeah,” he smiled, “she is pretty scary.” 

Dr. Alphys only nodded. Then, she sat on the edge of the bed. If she were a regular human doctor it would have been weird, but this was Alphys. He knew Alphys. And the way she was acting made him brace for the bad news, whatever it may be.

She launched into her doctor’s voice, losing the stutter in the process, “A monster’s stats usually changes one of two ways. Growing up and gaining LV.”

“Usually?” BP prodded. 

“Usually,” Dr. Alphys returned, “But when monsters go through something traumatic, it is sometimes followed by a change in their stats: lower HP, greater ATK, more DEF, things like that. Most often, the change is very subtle, hardly even noticeable. It has been recorded, however, during the war with humans, monsters with drastic changes...”

“I don’t need a history lesson, Dr. Alphys!” BP snapped then immediately regretted it. 

“BP,” Grillby crackled with a gentle reprimand.

He sighed, “Just...tell me what’s wrong.” This whole conversation was setting him on edge. 

The lizard monster didn’t seem offended at his outburst, however.

“Mettaton broke your soul, BP.”

“How’d you-”

“Sans,” she answered before he could finish.

“Oh.”

She continued her explanation. “Your falling out with Mettaton changed you on a magical level, as Sans should have explained. You-”

“Sans never explained anything to me.”

She stopped, “WHAT?! H-HE...really?”

BP shook his head.

“What has that lazy bag of bones been doing then?! He’s supposed to have explained the experiment to you and everything!”

BP just shrugged, he remembers seeing the Monster around the bar sometimes. _I think he has a human friend that’s a regular he talks to a lot, but the name is escaping me…_

Grillby shifted his weight awkwardly, “Sans has been helping me out with security at the bar, so I feel slightly responsible. I think he has also been having some trouble with the human he is friends with recently, though I won’t say any more than that.”

_Huh, well, that explains why he’s not around as much._ BP didn’t even realize that Sans had been working security.

Dr. Alphys put down her clipboard in order to rub her face with both hands.

“O-okay. It’s ok-kkay. I’ll just do it now then,” she took a breath and regained her composure. “Well, as you know the Monster Hospital doubles as a magic research facility.” 

BP and Grillby both nodded. The money generated from the research was the only reason that monsters could get free healthcare.

“Your case, a broken soul-”

He winced at the reminder.

“-causing such drastic change in magic, is unique. It’s something that hasn’t happened since the war with humans and could give us insight on how to help Monsters who’ve fallen down without having to use human determination! It’s actually quite exciting!”

“Why can’t Grillby or Sans help you out with that? They know more about this stuff than me.”

“My soul was cracked,” Grillby said smokily, “not shattered. And Sans...well Sans is a very private monster.”

Dr. Alphys nodded. “You’re the most recent case we’ve had in a long time and the most viable candidate. This is the best chance we’ve had in years!”

He could see on her face all wide-eyed behind her glasses, that she was truly exhilarated by his circumstances, and considering her history with Determination, he could understand why. Still, the prospect of becoming a lab rat made him a little uneasy.

“So...what do you want from me?”

Her tone became serious again, all traces of excitement gone, “Well, for all intents and purposes, you should have fallen down.”

BP didn’t know what to think of that. The fact did leave a pool of anxiety in his gut, and his face twitched for the first time in a while.

Grillby made a strangled noise. He put a hand to his face, smoothing out pale flames.

Dr. Alphys continued quickly, noticing their reactions, “But! Thankfully, you didn’t. We already have an idea of why, but what we hope to gain from studying you is a more...sustainable method to help those who’ve fallen down with broken souls.”

“Sustainable?”

“Well...that brings me to the combination of things that caused you to be here today.” She held up three of her clawed fingers. “One,” she lowered a claw, “Overuse of magic.” 

Grillby gave BP a look, “Do I need to get you a striped shirt?”

“Hey, cut a guy some slack! The powers are new! I still haven’t got a good grasp on my limits yet alright? No need to treat me like a kid” BP said defensively. But they both gave small laughs, it was kind of funny.

“Two,” Dr. Alphys said loudly trying to keep the two on topic while lowering another claw, “A low Defense. And three,” her hand fell into her lap, “No HP.”

If there was a brain equivalent of TV static, that would be BP’s mind right now. Grillby’s only reaction was to stiffen at his side. 

“But...Dust?” was all BP could manage to get out, but Dr. Alphys understood what he was trying to say with that one word.

“You didn’t turn to dust because your health is no longer dictated by how much Hope you have, BP.” She handed him her clipboard, “These were your results when you were brought in.”

BP - ATK 50 DEF 2  
This Monster is out for revenge.  
HT - 5/20

“What’s HT?”

She looked at him with what he could only describe as pity, “W-what d-do you th-think it is?”

He looked at the letters for a moment. There was only one thing that could have replaced Hope in him.

“Hate.”

Dr. Alphys nodded, “As you could probably understand, we don’t want Monsters to have to choose between Hating for the rest of their life, or falling down.”

BP nodded slowly still trying to digest the information. _Makes sense. Who’d want to live like that except me?_ He noticed that his attack went up, too. Not that he’d ever need it.

“So, how’d my HP, I mean HT,” _That’s gonna take some getting used to_ “get so low?”

“Well, what I believe happened today is that, because of your low DEF and drained magic, a moment of intense emotion void of any hatred actually chipped away at your HT.”

BP thought back to the moments before he passed out. His emotions were everywhere after his Flora performance. _I think I was feeling a bit sorry for Flora...she’d never have the same relationship with her sister ever again. She’d never find happiness, caught in a loop of conflicting emotions...the memory of her love for her sister and the knowledge that that same sister had killed her mother…_

The cat monster rubbed a hand over his aching soul. _Maybe I was considering...not being like Flora anymore…_

“Normally,” Dr. Alphys continued, “a Monster with a low DEF has to keep up their Hope to stop that from happening. For you, you have to keep up your, well, your Hatred. ” she sighed. “Though, I don’t know how long you can sustain that frame of mind...it doesn’t come naturally to Monsters. Not to mention, it’s not good for your mental well-being in the long run.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Nothing too dramatic,” she assured him. “We’d just like for you to come in once a week to fill out a questionnaire and to check your stats for any changes.”

_Seems a little too easy…_

“That’s it?” he asked with a bit of hesitation. 

“Yep, and we’ll also be talking about ways to move forward with converting your HT back to HP. We have some medication that may-”

“I don’t want it.”

He had derailed her entire train of thought, “W-what?”

“I don’t want to change my HT.” He crossed his arms.

She looked at him searchingly, “D-ddon’t you w-wwant to get better?”

He sighed. How could he explain that he didn’t want to get “better” without sounding insane?

“This is me now, Alphys.” He held his hand over where his soul, shattered but still holding together, lay. “I chose this, and there’s something I have to do before I even think about changing.”

“You could really help out other monsters who are suffering,” she tried to persuade him. “The medication, while still experimental, could help you. And we need a wider range of willing monsters, there’s just not enough of us for normal clinical trials-” 

“Alphys,” he interrupted. “Stop.” His tone was firm. He would not be swayed. 

“I can’t,” he breathed out. So quiet were those words.

She deflated, “Well, I can’t force you to take it. But I’d like you to have it, as an option. Just in case you change your mind.” She took the clipboard back, flipped it to a different paper and scribbled something incomprehensible.

“It would still be very helpful if you came in every week,” she glanced up from her writing.

He was getting ready to argue, but this time it was Dr. Alphys who interrupted.

“We’ll pay you.”

BP smiled.

“Well, I guess you got yourself a lab rat.” 

She returned his expression, “Good. Oh, before I forget, you’re also addicted to nicotine.”

_Of course, I am_. He thought sinking into the hospital bed’s pillow. _Of course, I am._

\---

_I can’t believe she’s making me stay the night,_ BP thought in a huff. 

Grillby had to leave about an hour ago to take care of the bar, and now, BP was all alone with his thoughts. It was good in a way. Now he could start to process the events of the day all at his own pace.

_Maybe now I can smoke without getting a lecture from that candle,_ he thought more fond than bitter. Is it ironic that a flame monster is against smoking?

He got up from the hospital bed to rummage through the overnight bag Grillby thoughtfully brought him.

_Undies, PJs, clean clothes for tomorrow...and...Jackpot!_ He found a pack of his favorite cigs at the very bottom. BP took it as a passive aggressive way for Grillby to admonish the habit, but still provide the thing that would bring him comfort in this stressful time. 

_Maybe now, I can get my head on straight._ He bounced towards the door ready to head out and find a place to smoke. Obviously, they don’t allow it in the hospital, but he was sure he saw some ashtrays outside last time he was here. 

BP pulled open the door like he was trying to escape a fire, only to stop abruptly when he saw a surprised Tsuruga Ren with his hand poised to knock. 

“Huh?” BP said elegantly.

_What’s this guy doing here?_

“What’re you doing here?” his voice echoed his thoughts, before he realized how rude it was to say. Just because he didn’t like the guy, didn’t mean he had to be rude. It’s not like he’s Mettaton or anything.

“Oh, umm, the president thought you’d like these,” he handed BP some textbooks. “They’re the ones you’ll need for tomorrow, assuming you still feel well enough that is.”

BP snatched up the books like they were the key to eternal life.

“Thank you, so much! These are so expensive. I was just gonna bum off of someone else if I had to, but this...Wow. This was exactly what I needed. Thanks a lot, little buddy.”

“Little buddy?” A spark of recognition flashed in his eyes.

BP didn’t catch it, though. He was too busy admiring the books. They were a few editions behind, but publishers don’t usually make big changes anyway, but he’d ask his teachers if there was any important changes, just to be safe.

“Yeah, sorry, that’s just something I’ve said since I was a kid. I don’t think you’re little,” he broke out of the spell the books weaved on his concentration, “or a buddy for that matter. Why are you here, anyway? Couldn’t the prez have sent someone else? Perhaps someone not as busy? Or mean…” he added under his breath.

Ren ignored the jabs, he had a faraway look to his eyes, “You’re real name isn’t really BP, is it?”

BP sucked in a sharp breath. _Holy nicecreams in Hotland, won’t this day just end already?!_

But it was far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I wouldn't update again till next week, but the inspiration floweth lol so here it is.
> 
> This is also another chapter that doesn't appear in the manga at all. It's a little set up for some things i have planned that are still developing in my mind...hopefully it all comes out okay!
> 
> There are more allusions to Sans and his shenanigans in here, but as I've said before he shall remain mysterious! Until I ever decide to write that spinoff...anyways...
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading!!!


	18. Threats and Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BP finally gets to smoke, but threatens Ren first, and what's this?? An unknown history between them AND an opportunity to be on TV?

BP could feel his face wanting to twitch very badly. He distracted himself by putting the books in his overnight bag. This gave him a little time to consider the implications of what Tsuruga Ren just asked.

_Oh man...did he find out that stupid nickname?? What if he just came to rub it in my face under the pretense of book giving?!? Evil!!!_ Before he could work himself up anymore, he forced himself to take long, even breaths. _Don’t get your boxers in a twist, BP. Just play it cool. Calm. Cool. Like nicecream. Yeah. Be nicecream…_

The monster felt himself calm, but then a familiar craving rose up in him, _Great, now I want some nicecream..._ He shook it away, vowing to visit the Nicecream Shop one of these days.

“Of course not,” he finally responded, “It’s my stage name, duh.” _Nailed it._

“No, I mean, it’s not even close to your real name at all, is it?” Ren was bizarrely insistent and had this look about his face like he knew he was right.

_Is he talking about my name before I was Burgerpants? No...I’d doubt anyone besides Grillby even remembers that name. Much less some random human. Much less THIS random human._

BP’s thoughts brought him to a place in his memories he hadn’t visited in a long, long time. _Well...there was THAT one…_ BP did a mental headshake. _Nah, that’s impossible. This guy’s probably just trying to rattle me._

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Tsuruga-san,” he brushed passed him roughly. BP REALLY needed a cigarette now. “And even if I did, it would be private information. I wouldn’t share that kind of stuff with a near stranger, now would I?” he said over his shoulder. BP would get his cigarette soon, damnit! And gods help whoever got in his way.

Ren seemed to snap out of a trance, suddenly realizing what he had been asking. He didn’t know why, but he felt a kind of urgency in his gut when he saw BP walking away. Ren automatically reached out to him and grabbed his paw, “Wait! I wanted to talk to you!”

“ENOUGH!” BP summoned his magic and it coiled in smoky arcs to hold Ren in place, while he pried his arm free. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he gestured to the hospital around him and whisper-shouted at the shocked and immobile Ren, “but I’ve had a long day.”

It was one thing to tell yourself in your mind that you’ve dedicated your life to hating someone. It was another thing altogether to have a doctor tell you the same thing and give you hard proof that it was the case. Whether or not he got his revenge was now directly tied to his magical health, and BP was starting to feel that realization take its toll. 

Sure, he could be strong when Grillby was around-he really couldn’t stand worrying the flame monster more than he already had-but, Grillby wasn’t here now. It was just him and this guy who was insistent on making his life so much harder than it had to be. He could feel himself starting to fall apart.

“And I need a goddamn cigarette! So, if you care for your life at all, you won’t get in my way again.” BP didn’t mean to be threatening. He didn’t really want to hurt Ren. But he was frustrated, and irritable, and needed nicotine…

He turned his back on Ren and continued walking away. He didn’t have it in him to apologize, but he did cut off his magic, convinced that the human would leave him alone now. 

BP didn’t look back.

But he did wonder…

_What kind of face is Ren making? Is he scared of me now? Angry? Hurt? Was he amused at my attempt at a threat? Does he think of me as childish, even though I’m older than him?_ BP sighed. _One thing is certain, I’m finally alone._

\---

BP was not alone. 

Ren followed him stealthily, well, as stealthy as a 6ft tall man could be which seemed to be a lot considering that the cat monster still hadn’t noticed him. Ren chalked it up to him being distracted by the events of the day. 

Ren was relieved to see that BP was alright. He wouldn’t have known that anything was wrong if director Shingai hadn’t sent him a text bragging about how he saved BP’s life. Seiji had overstated the extent of BP’s malady, of course. And when Ren called the president to confirm what Seiji was saying, he was reassured that it was just overexertion. That’s when the president asked him to bring his old books to BP, so the monster would be prepared for his classes tomorrow.

He considered having Yashiro bring the books for him, but there was something that was drawing him towards BP. Ren didn’t know what it was before, but he realized it now during their little exchange.

Ren knew BP.

And he was determined to understand why the monster had changed so much.

\---

BP’s hands were shaking as he finally pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and inhaled that burning cloud of sweet, sweet calming nicotine.

“Finally,” he exhaled in a puff of smoke. BP took in the dying light of the day, relieved that it was almost over. _Now, I can have some time alone and-_

“Hey.” The voice came from behind him. BP spun around to confirm his fear. It was Tsuruga Ren again.

_Seriously?! Why?!_ he wanted to yell at the guy, but he felt a little guilty for threatening him earlier. So, instead of bringing out his magic to toss the guy into Tokyo Bay, he wordlessly offered him a cigarette from his precious pack.

“No, thank you. I don’t smoke-”

Ren had cut off his own words, like he was gonna say something more, then decided not to. BP shrugged, secretly glad that the actor didn’t take one. He tucked the pack away in his back pocket.

“So,” BP began between puffs, “What do you want?” He was actually kind of curious, now. What would make this guy go through such lengths to talk to him? It seemed like too much effort just for the guy to mess with him, but then again he WAS a human.

“I heard you’re starting acting classes at the training school…” BP looked at the celebrity in silence, there was an annoyingly pleasant look on the human’s face. “That’s good news.”

“Is that all? That’s all you came out here to say???”

“No...” his face became that impassive neutral, almost somber expression. “I think it’s good that you’ve finally put all this revenge stuff behind you.”

“Pfft, who said I was doing that?” BP laughed bitterly.

“But aren’t you, trying to better-”

BP cut him off with a wave of his hand. Then, he became serious, “ _Everything_ I do now is to get closer to Mettaton. Everything. I will rise to his level, and I will throw his pride into the dust beneath my feet and stomp it into nothing...until he knows, until he understands what he did.” His tone carried the weight of his resolve, the sting of his hurt, and the Determination to see his words through. “There is no room for anything else.”

Pain. Ren felt a shooting pain in his chest at those words. He tried to play it off. “You sound like a spurned lover,” Ren said half-jokingly.

BP scoffed. “Love,” he spat, “seems like too small a word. Is it love when you dedicate your entire life to someone? When every move you make is watched, and criticized, and dictated by someone else? I was a slave not a lover, or maybe,” BP pondered, “Maybe, they’re the same thing.”

_He really has changed,_ Ren thought, saddened. _All he can think about is THAT guy…_ Jealousy, squirmed into his mind. 

“So you did love him.”

BP scowled, “It’s none of your business.”

“It’s true, then,” his voice was almost mocking, but not quite there yet. “You loved him and he threw you away.”

_Why does this guy have to poke old wounds?! Can’t I just smoke in peace?_ BP looked away from the prying celebrity while nursing his cigarette. _I just won’t talk to him. I shouldn’t even have said as much as I had…_

“You don’t have to say anything for me to know I’m right,” he was smug in his ability to read people. “Your expression gives you away,” then he became serious. “But in this business, even if someone points out the truth, you have to say ‘no’ and _keep_ saying it, or the paparazzi will take that information and run with it.”

It was sound advice, but the haughty way he gave it was infuriating to BP. He could feel the Hate in him, and for once, it wasn’t for Mettaton.

“If you want to join showbiz, you should at least be able to do that before someone has to tell you,” he was stern, like talking to a child. “If you can’t even lie convincingly, you’ll never debut.”

_I can’t stand this guy, but I can’t refute what he’s saying either!_

BP had smoked his cigarette to the filter. He tossed the butt into a nearby ashtray and turned to look at Ren with renewed purpose.

“Go. Fuck. Yourself.” 

He said each word with as much spite as he could. Then, he ran into the hospital as fast as his weakened legs would carry him, leaving behind a very stunned Tsuruga Ren.

_He really has changed a lot,_ Ren thought as he watched the disappearing cat monster nearly trip on the stairs in his haste to get away. The nostalgia was pushed away for a moment by the sight of the clumsy monster regaining his balance and was replaced by a chuckle and a warm feeling in Ren's chest. He pulled out his phone to tell Yashiro to pick him up. He still had a photo shoot to do before the day was done. 

Ren remembered a much younger BP in an over-sized, striped sweater and a giant wad of gum in his mouth. He smiled a soft, genuine smile. _But he, probably, hasn’t changed as much as I have..._

\---

It’s been almost a week since that incident. 

BP has been working hard at the training school alongside Kotonami Kanae. He has to carry around monster food to make sure he doesn’t collapse again, but other than that and the constant looking over his shoulders expecting Ren to rain down his revenge tenfold, he was doing pretty good.

He rummaged through the insulated pocket of the backpack he had taken to carrying around to pull out a nicecream. BP unwrapped the tasty goodness and was prepared to take a bite when Kanae made a grab for it.

“Let me taste!”

BP stuck his tongue out at her “Bad human,” he teased, “this is monster food, not human food.”

She rolled her eyes, “I’m not an animal.” Her face grew wicked, but BP didn’t notice. She quickly assumed a tone of genuine curiosity, “What’s Ren doing here at the training school?”

BP felt a shudder run through his body. He was in the middle of looking around for a good place to hide, when Kanae jacked his nicecream. Each nicecream comes with two sticks so she split it in two and handed BP the other half while munching on hers. 

He grabbed the sweet from her a bit roughly. _Why’s her acting have to be so good?_ BP couldn’t help but be jealous of her ability. And even though she was extremely talented, she took even the basics they were learning in class very seriously. He followed her lead in that regard.

“I don’t know why you make this difficult every time,” she practically hummed while working on making the nicecream disappear.

“Will I ever get to eat all of the monster food I bring?” BP complained mockingly. Kanae had proven to be quite adventurous when it came to food. She was also insanely curious about magic. So, after he offered her a bite of his food one day, she always made a point of trying any monster food he brought, whether BP offered or not. 

“Not if all monster food is this good,” she said while finishing her nicecream. “You look nice today.”

“Why thank you,” BP said still working on his own snack.

Kanae pushed him playful but with strength, “I was reading the Nicecream!”

“Sure you were,” BP replied in mock sarcasm as he finished his. “Are those claws natural?” he read on the nicecream stick, “Why yes they are, thanks for noticing.”

Kanae hid her laugh behind her hand, like she was ashamed of finding that even remotely funny.

They walked to the main LME building amicably each throwing playful jabs at the other or going over lessons from the training school. 

Suddenly, a voice hailed them from a distance.

“Hey, LoveMe Section!” They both instinctively turned towards the noise. It was Sawara-san. He had noticed the two of them walking, and was now making his way towards them. “You’re just coming from the training school?”

BP waved, “Yeah, we just got off,” while Kanae gave a small bow and remained silent.

“How are you doing, so far?” He seemed very energetic, and not as burdened by worry as he usually is, but maybe that’s just because BP is more often than not the cause for those worries. 

“We’re still doing the basics, but it’s going well.”

“That’s good-Oh!” Sawara-san looked like he had suddenly realized something. “But...well you’ll learn from it,” he said almost inaudibly. It put BP on alert, making him feel uneasy. Was Sawara-san plotting something?

“LoveMe Section,” he addressed them both a carefree grin on his face, “If you don’t have any plans after this, would the two of you like to do some TV work?”

“Yes!” he and Kanae said immediately and in sync with each other.

_This could be our chance!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is how I envision a young Burgerpants. I call him, Burger Kid.  
> 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! There was a lot of nicecream, here and I do believe the Nicecream guy himself will make an appearance. Keep up the feedback guys! I really take what you say into account, and I do love interacting with y'all!


End file.
